Struggling to stay sober after family argument

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Fred's_SoberParrot, Jun 28, 2020.

  1. Just could back from a walk that did me no good whatsoever. A smallish thing turned into a heated exchange of text messages between myself and my sister this afternoon, over something to do with my brother. As a result, I feel vulnerable, angry and close to acting out. Have tried calling a friend (got no reply) and this is my last resort. Welcome any feedback, suggestions etc. I am sure I am not the only person to go through such things in sobriety.
     
    tavla likes this.
  2. johnsoe

    johnsoe Fapstronaut

    Stay strong, I’m feeling kinda down too, we’ll come through in the clutch.
     
    Fred's_SoberParrot likes this.
  3. It is such a good sign you actively reached out! ☺️ What was the fight about? Sometimes it helps to write your thoughts down.
     
    Fred's_SoberParrot likes this.
  4. Randy Andy

    Randy Andy Fapstronaut

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    Hey Fred,
    It's so great that you called a friend, I do that a lot and it really helps me. Sorry you didn't get a response.
    I just had an argument start with my wife and I walked away as a way for me to stop fighting her. She was being really negative and I said so and she seemed to feel very indignant about that... Anyways I noticed I was in position to her (like a few years ago I felt angry at my boss for being so negative and when I noticed in my mind the thought she shouldn't be so negative it occurred to me how negative of me:) ). So another great thing you had the awareness for was taking a walk that has often helped me and just as often I've felt the way you shared of it not seeming to do any good :)
    Sometimes we get hooked by the energy of anger. It was part of the drive to act out so it's not "bad on ya" as the Aussies say for that process to be going on for you. Obviously you are intending to stay sober, that's a commitment that is near and dear to my heart.
    Do you have a method by which you work through angers and fears? I mention fear because about 100% of the time my angers have fear underneath them. Such as a fear that people won't like me or won't give me the respect my mind thinks it deserves, things like that
     
    Fred's_SoberParrot likes this.
  5. jt850

    jt850 Fapstronaut

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  6. Arnuld

    Arnuld Fapstronaut

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    Intense emotions are a huge trigger for me as well. Had an argument this morning and it really made me want to act out as well. It’s really hard when the tool used for coping with painful emotions gets taken away. But remember it’s a shit tool. It’s like pouring lighter fluid on the fire when what you need is water. Hang in there man.
     
    Fred's_SoberParrot likes this.
  7. Are you willing to share what happened with your sister?
    It helps me always (!) when I write down the conversation on paper until I see exactly where I went wrong. Giving me the insight that I had a choice where I took offense in stead of just listening to the other and nodding a bit.

    If you have a bad feeling about a conversation, you was the one who took offense to something. I guess you feel responsible for something or somebody while you are not responsible at all. Maybe your sister wants you to take responsibility so she doesn't need to do that herself.
     
    Fred's_SoberParrot likes this.
  8. BreakingBenjamin

    BreakingBenjamin Fapstronaut

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    The anger after the argument will fade in a few days, if you fap now you`ll find yourself regretting in a few days when you will calm down
     
    Fred's_SoberParrot likes this.
  9. BammBan

    BammBan Fapstronaut

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    I used to go back to the bad habits when having a bad day or feeling angry. But now I realize I will only feel worse after relapse. No matter what your mind tells you, PMO just won’t do you any good at all.
    Why not be kind to ourselves? We can try to solve the problem or just move on, but it shouldn’t be an excuse to PMO.
     
    BreakingBenjamin, Liven and david22 like this.

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