Hi, I have recently discovered, my partner of 2 and a half years has a porn addiction. I knew for a few months before it got too much and I confronted him. He tried to gaslight me and play it right down until I pushed and pushed and told him how much I knew. I knew things weren't right from the start but couldn't put my finger on it as I've never came across anything like this before. I just never really felt like i truly knew him, I was always kept at arms length. He's had ED right from the start, and I thought with time that would change, we started to use erection pills that worked sometimes. He wasn't that interested in sex (which I thought strange for a new relationship) but we got on well and wanted the same things from life. Just a deeper connection was always missing. He would say all the right things but actions seemed to be different. For the first year it was a long distance relationship as he worked away, we spoke every night and saw each other for a week or so out of every 3 or if he had leave longer. I have now moved in with him and relocated. I now work for the same company as him in a different department, I do some night shifts, sex didn't change, there still wasn't a great deal of interest. Late last year I discovered he had looked up porn while I was on night shift. I confronted him and he said he was just mucking around. There was heaps for 1 nights mucking around but he came home from work that day and smashed his iPad with a hammer. I thought that was over reaction for something that was once off.I said he could still do it on his phone and he told me he wouldn't do that because they can get into your bank account, silly me believed him. About 3 months later he left his phone unlocked and I checked the history there was heaps days and days, hours and hours . I didn't tell him what I'd seen but confronted him about our sex life, once again he lied. So I started pushing for a lot more sex thinking this would stop him. I threw out all my underwear and only wore really sexy stuff. I still got no reaction or felt like I was noticed. I'm not a big person (58kg) but started dieting and working out to have the perfect toned body , I got botox and an array of other facials on a quest for perfect skin. I wore my hair up differently so I would look younger like the girls he seems to go for. I drove myself crazy every day and started drinking just to sleep at night or day depending on my shift. Until I realized I couldn't live like this any longer so confronted him and finally drew out a confession like extracting a wisdom tooth. I still wonder whether he is truly sorry or just sorry he got caught out. That was a little over 6 weeks ago he said he would be open with me and he was a bit to start. He says he's stopped and won't do it again, he also doesn't talk about it anymore because he wants to forget and not bring it up all the time so he says. I'm really really struggling to believe him and trust him. I'm still very hurt and keep going over things in my head. I'm just not sure I can believe him and trust him. I'm hoping it will come soon as I stress every time I have to do night shift and he is at home alone.