Stuck in 1 month cycle - Trying something different

[Reborn16]

Hey guys, I've been doing NoFap for about 5 years, and have made incremental improvements that added up to a lot in that time. However, I find myself really struggling to make it past 1 month in a streak.

The last 12 months, my average streak would probably be 3-4 weeks. So an absolute majority of days are productive and healthy relative to this habit. When I'm in those weeks clean, I feel 90% recovered.

Social anxiety is mostly gone. I'm starting to put on weight again (I was under average), my studies are improving, and just in general things are better. Not to mention the general feeling of depression is all but gone (save for times when I lapse, although I'm learning to not take that so seriously too!)

My dilemma is: I keep slipping up and going to PMO when I get lonely, aroused, or a combination of both. And I have this idea that it's best to put off dating and sexual relations until 90 days.

The problem is, I've never got to 90 days.

I feel like I've mostly got my sh!t together, relative to how I was 5 years ago. I've even been on a few dates that went well, but have also managed to avoid women who showed interest, with the BS excuse "I'm not ready yet".

I feel like I would rather go 2 weeks and start putting myself out there again meeting women, rather than go 4 weeks+ and become frustrated again.

Is anyone else here in a similar situation?

You feel like most of the healing has been done?

And you would just like to start connecting with women again, even if it means you don't get that milestone achievement of 90 days?

 

[Mateus long]

Hi there mate, if you have lots of sexual frustration after the four weeks maybe finding methods to release this frustration would be beneficial for you. I find yoga/stretching is great for releasing tension as well as exercise such as high intensity training. I definitely was in a similar situation at the start of my journey and never went longer than 4 weeks, when we watch porn so often I think it is easy for our libido to expect that that level of stimulation is normal. Finding healthy ways to release your tension including exercise, meditation and stretching would definitely help with this aspect, and hopefully you could also manage to connect with women again, which I think would benefit your recovery. For me I think the healing process is ongoing and I don't think it will ever be completed for me personally. I think the best thing is find ways to deal with your urges rather than sacrificing a connection with women. Good luck bro and feel free to reach out if you want a chat or anything!

 

[Reborn16]

Hi there mate, if you have lots of sexual frustration after the four weeks maybe finding methods to release this frustration would be beneficial for you. I find yoga/stretching is great for releasing tension as well as exercise such as high intensity training. I definitely was in a similar situation at the start of my journey and never went longer than 4 weeks, when we watch porn so often I think it is easy for our libido to expect that that level of stimulation is normal. Finding healthy ways to release your tension including exercise, meditation and stretching would definitely help with this aspect, and hopefully you could also manage to connect with women again, which I think would benefit your recovery. For me I think the healing process is ongoing and I don't think it will ever be completed for me personally. I think the best thing is find ways to deal with your urges rather than sacrificing a connection with women. Good luck bro and feel free to reach out if you want a chat or anything!

Thanks a lot for the reply man. This has been my pattern for a while now, so it's quite encouraging to hear you've had a similar situation and found a way through!

Yeah I think it's definitely some sexual expectation I have. I expect to have lots of novelty for little effort, or at least that's the story I tell myself when I've had a few weeks that have been productive but stressful.

I'll keep at it. Lately I've doubled my exercise and it has helped me finally start improving my fitness, I guess I need to put the same conscious effort into connecting with women if that's what I want also...

Best of luck with your journey too mate. I have read everyone recovers at vastly different times, some taking just months and others years, so many variables. That said, some things may remain a challenge I guess, but at least we're the wiser for it!