Stuck in a cycle of fetishes and novelty and need advice on how to break it ( Please don’t ignore )

[Sexjunk]

I been mastrubating since the age of 12/13 And i started watching porn at the age of 13/14
But everything been going downhill since i was 23 i’m now 26.
At 22 i did NoFap for like 7-10 months, reason i say 7 because at month 7 i started slacking off again.
In this period i had few relapses, so it wasn’t a full streak.
1 relapse at month 3 i picked it up again the next day.
Second relapse was at month 5 or 6
Arround month 7 i started slacking and jerking off and watching porn again.
I didin’t do it daily and i still tried to do nofap but you couldn’t call it a NoFap streak honestly….
Month 10 everything really went downhill i completely stopped NoFap, i starting jerking alot and basically from here my addiction became worse then it ever been…
From only once a day sometimes 2 and 3 on a crazy day pre NoFap to currently minium 2/3 a day.

Since my porn addiction came back, i been running into the following issues.
Obviously doing it way to much.
But also i kept getting fetishes or old fetishes what i had beaten in the past returned 10 times stronger.
And i’m in this cycle of seeking out novelty, getting used to the novelty and the novelty becomes the new normal then seeking out other novelty / fetishes to the point even the most hardcore novelty’s starting to feel normal.
My sexuality got pretty messed up, i got desensitized asf for regular stuff regular girls you name it, and some of these fetishes i actually don’t even like in the first place.
I even acted out on some of my fetishes.
some where alright no regrets but some i regret alot and where a mistake and ruined my life….
Like i said some of these fetishes i don’t even like in the first place, like recently i hooked up with a T-girl escort and i didin’t liked that at all. That’s not me but porn messed up my brain.

Before back in the day, before i really was a porn/mastrubation addict, i didin’t had all these fetishes, i wasn’t desensitized to normal girls i didin’t had all these fetishes.
Man even during NoFap i didin’t had this

I want my sexuality back get rid of all these fetishes and undo the desensitization to normal girls.
My fetishes aren’t only T-girls girls.
My other fetishes contain biological women but they’re lemme say not your average girl you see on the street, and they escelated to the more extreme hardcore side of the spectrum….
And now i’m desentized to regular girls
I just want to undo the desensitization
Get my sexuality back like it used to be and get rid of these fetishes

Hopefully someone can help me because i’m kinda lost ngl

 

[Fugeeoolala]

No going back, only forward. You may be setting up goals that are impossible. Very important is trust in a higher power that things will be better if you abstain and practice healthy habits even if it is not the outcome you want.

 

[Aba0504]

I think first and foremost you have to set the mindset that you’re going to quit PMO. If you don’t have that mindset and willing to put in the work it’s not going to work. Second I wouldn’t worry about streaks and stuff and counting how many days you’ve been PMO free. I find that keeping track of how long we’ve been PMO free hinders the work we have to put in, example you might get discouraged a certain amount of days in because you see no progress. I would just take one day at a time. Third I would cut off all social media, once you cut off P your brain will look for other things such as thirst traps on social media. Put up blockers on your phone and whatever measures to keep you off p sites and sites with mistresses and T-girls because you mentioned you seen one so I’m assuming it was an escort website. Know that this journey is a long journey, I’m 37 I’ve been PMO’ing for over 20 years and I’ve also visited mistresses and got into some fetishes that I didn’t like when I experienced them or didn’t turn me on in person but I’ve been rebooting since sept with relapses and resets but I can tell my brain is not keen on those fetishes anymore. Lastly you have to get your brain assimilated back to normality and need to rewire your brain back to default setting with a girlfriend or with women that you hug and kiss and cuddle with.

 

[Sexjunk]

No going back, only forward. You may be setting up goals that are impossible. Very important is trust in a higher power that things will be better if you abstain and practice healthy habits even if it is not the outcome you want.

So it may be impossible to get rid of these fetishes? Ok and what about getting my normal sexuality back undo the desensitization get my attraction back to regular girls? and don’t interact with these fetishes anymore while abstaining ofc

 

[Fugeeoolala]

Idk what "normal" sexuality is, but I'm pretty sure you can find intimacy, self-love, healthy sexual functioning, and rewarding partnership if you work a program of recovery. I don't know how much the kink is to blame for what's ailing you.

 

[Aba0504]

So it may be impossible to get rid of these fetishes? Ok and what about getting my normal sexuality back undo the desensitization get my attraction back to regular girls? and don’t interact with these fetishes anymore while abstaining ofc

It is possible, maybe I confused you with what I said but my fetishes are practically gone after 6 months of no PMO. Normal sexuality will come back when you reboot your brain back to the default setting by doing what normal humans do.

 

[Sexjunk]

I think first and foremost you have to set the mindset that you’re going to quit PMO. If you don’t have that mindset and willing to put in the work it’s not going to work. Second I wouldn’t worry about streaks and stuff and counting how many days you’ve been PMO free. I find that keeping track of how long we’ve been PMO free hinders the work we have to put in, example you might get discouraged a certain amount of days in because you see no progress. I would just take one day at a time. Third I would cut off all social media, once you cut off P your brain will look for other things such as thirst traps on social media. Put up blockers on your phone and whatever measures to keep you off p sites and sites with mistresses and T-girls because you mentioned you seen one so I’m assuming it was an escort website. Know that this journey is a long journey, I’m 37 I’ve been PMO’ing for over 20 years and I’ve also visited mistresses and got into some fetishes that I didn’t like when I experienced them or didn’t turn me on in person but I’ve been rebooting since sept with relapses and resets but I can tell my brain is not keen on those fetishes anymore. Lastly you have to get your brain assimilated back to normality and need to rewire your brain back to default setting with a girlfriend or with women that you hug and kiss and cuddle with.

I’m going to quit PMO been a long time i wanted to quit, especially with these fetishes and stuff.
But after the encounter with the T-girl i realized how far i got and really Want to quit now.
But if i quit will the fetishes disapear?
Will i undo the desensitization get my attraction back to regular girls and get my sexuality back?

No i wasn’t really counting my days, i just remember which month i had my relapses that’s all
But i know counting days of a streak is the wrong mindset first month i was counting after i forgot about counting and just did NoFap
I did have regularly sex with hookers.
But also had alot of good interaction with girls who aren’t escorts, which i struggled alot with before NoFap and currently struggle with again.
Reason i still was going to escorts was because even my skills with girls improved i wasn’t 100% successful with them yet.

So no social media at all right?
I don’t follow T-girls on social media, but i know social media was / is keeping my other ( total unrealistic) fetishes alive, which i unfollowed all recently.
Sadly i still remember the names of the girls i used to follow.

How do you block porn and stuff that i never can search it up again?
because everytime i block it somehow i find a way to still enter it

Yeah escort sites is also a problem that is leading me to T-girls.
I often visit escorts ( biological girls ) and look at them sites often.
Before the fetish, i knew there where T-girls on the sites, but i never bothered looking for T-girls specifically, because i had no intrest in them, i was disgusted everytime i saw one lol
Nothing against T-girls it just wasn’t for me.
Always filtered out women only so i only saw women only.
But after the fetish, everytime i was looking for escorts even i told myself i was not gonna look for T-girls somehow ended up on the T-girl side of the site, followed by a binge of T-girl porn ofc, and sometimes debating to visit one, never did untill last week

but I can tell my brain is not keen on those fetishes anymore. Lastly you have to get your brain assimilated back to normality and need to rewire your brain back to default setting with a girlfriend or with women that you hug and kiss and cuddle

How did you eliminate those fetishes?
Did you also undo the desensitization?
Did it totally went away? because some fetishes eventually returned even i did beat those fetishes.
But when my PMO got very bad the fetishes came back as well.
How did you rewire your brain to normality to default settings?
The one in my case where i like normal beautiful women, instead having these fetish for certain girls and one of them is T-girls it’s not the main one but def a strong one.
And reason i only mentioning T-girls is because i recently acted out with one
And because it’s the most weird one
The one what goes the most against my own sexuality, the one what i dislike the most and the one what doesn’t feel like me at all.
The one what i don’t even like in the first place.
The other fetishes are basically just certain type of girls, but escelated in such a extreme matte, that 1 it became pretty weird probably outside my orginal taste
2 became nasty and third became unrealistic rare to even find in the real world.
But when those type of girls becomes your new normal and get desensitized by normal girls it’s difficult to find a girl to date.

I just want my normal sexuality back
Which is one without extreme fetishes or escelated fetishes.
Where i like and i’m attracted to normal girls and i like being arround girls, instead being a introvert porn creep who can’t even have a 60 second conversation with a woman without everything going wrong.
The one where i seek a nice girlfriend
Now because of these fetishes and because of what i have done with the T-girl i feel like i totally lost the ability of getting a girlfriend

Basically i want my sexuality my normal dating life and my life back.

Without a life full of weird fetishes and being controlled by them and doing things what i actually don’t even like and having lots of regrets afterwards ( T-girls encounter )

 

[Sexjunk]

It is possible, maybe I confused you with what I said but my fetishes are practically gone after 6 months of no PMO. Normal sexuality will come back when you reboot your brain back to the default setting by doing what normal humans do.

No you didin’t basically i forgot to post my reply lol.

But ok so after 6 months i will reboot and go back to how i used to be before all this escelation into fetishes?

 

[Sexjunk]

Idk what "normal" sexuality is, but I'm pretty sure you can find intimacy, self-love, healthy sexual functioning, and rewarding partnership if you work a program of recovery. I don't know how much the kink is to blame for what's ailing you.

What is normal sexuality

Well for me it was the following

One without weird extreme unrealistic in the real world escelated fetishes or escelated fetishes in general.

The one where i’m not desensitized

The one where i’m attracted to normal beautiful girls, instead of whatever i’m now into lol.
And one i actually like being arround girls instead being a introvert porn creep, who can’t even have a 60 second conversation with a woman without everything going wrong.
The one where i actually was looking for a healthy relationship with a girl
Instead of looking for rare unrealistic girls who are like 1-5% of the whole population.

And that’s how my sexuality used to be before i escelated to all these fetishes.

 

[Aba0504]

No you didin’t basically i forgot to post my reply lol.

But ok so after 6 months i will reboot and go back to how i used to be before all this escelation into fetishes?

Everyone is different. It could take 6 months could be longer could be less. Depends on your history and how you reboot. But it’s super possible to get rid of the fetishes. Plenty of people on here have once you reboot the right way. I’d also stay away from just M’ing as your brain looks for the dopamine rush

 

[Sexjunk]

Everyone is different. It could take 6 months could be longer could be less. Depends on your history and how you reboot. But it’s super possible to get rid of the fetishes. Plenty of people on here have once you reboot the right way. I’d also stay away from just M’ing as your brain looks for the dopamine rush

Yea i mean as long i get rid of it.
And when will my genuinely attraction to regular women come back?
And how do i reboot the right way?
Yea NoFap means no M’ing and no porn.

 

[Sexjunk]

Everyone is different. It could take 6 months could be longer could be less. Depends on your history and how you reboot. But it’s super possible to get rid of the fetishes. Plenty of people on here have once you reboot the right way. I’d also stay away from just M’ing as your brain looks for the dopamine rush

Also i have a question idk if you have the answer but i hope you do
Why since the last 2 years my sexuality really did a 180 is it common with people who frequently m*ng alot?

From liking normal regular girls, to being desensitized to normal girls, and liking weird and extreme stuff, including some stuff i actually find disgusting and don’t even like
And also having weird sexual thoughts about stuff i find disgusting and wouldn’t even pop in my mind few years ago when i had normal sexuality lol.
Which also gets worse when i don’t be m*ng
That being said i never had a streak longer then 3 days, because when i don’t beat it my mind starts thinking about weird stuff i find disgusting and mentally that’s very hard because constantly some images of disgusting stuff is crossing your mind.

Like don’t get me wrong having sexual thoughts of stuff i actually like is also hard because that just makes you horny and makes it harder to not m*ng
But i prefer that much more then whatever i have now.
Because then i would just need strong disipine that’s it, but now on top of needing discipline i also get mentally tortured

I need to throw up

 

[Sexjunk]

Everyone is different. It could take 6 months could be longer could be less. Depends on your history and how you reboot. But it’s super possible to get rid of the fetishes. Plenty of people on here have once you reboot the right way. I’d also stay away from just M’ing as your brain looks for the dopamine rush

Basically like i mentioned earlier i wanna have my life back where i only liked beautiful regular good looking women.
No weird extreme fetish kind of women
Not being into stuff what i actually find disgusting and what goes against what i like and who i am.
T-girls for example
And nothing against T-girls it’s just personally not for me.
no unwanted sexual thoughts about disturbing disgusting stuff

And not being numb anymore to my orginal default settings of sexuality

 

[Aba0504]

Yea i mean as long i get rid of it.
And when will my genuinely attraction to regular women come back?
And how do i reboot the right way?
Yea NoFap means no M’ing and no porn.

Everyone is different, I don’t have an answer, you just have to reboot and let your brain heal from all the brainwashing porn has done. Go look at my long post that I posted in this thread should give you the essentials and what not on how to reboot otherwise you can ask more questions.

 

[Aba0504]

Also i have a question idk if you have the answer but i hope you do
Why since the last 2 years my sexuality really did a 180 is it common with people who frequently m*ng alot?

From liking normal regular girls, to being desensitized to normal girls, and liking weird and extreme stuff, including some stuff i actually find disgusting and don’t even like
And also having weird sexual thoughts about stuff i find disgusting and wouldn’t even pop in my mind few years ago when i had normal sexuality lol.
Which also gets worse when i don’t be m*ng
That being said i never had a streak longer then 3 days, because when i don’t beat it my mind starts thinking about weird stuff i find disgusting and mentally that’s very hard because constantly some images of disgusting stuff is crossing your mind.

Like don’t get me wrong having sexual thoughts of stuff i actually like is also hard because that just makes you horny and makes it harder to not m*ng
But i prefer that much more then whatever i have now.
Because then i would just need strong disipine that’s it, but now on top of needing discipline i also get mentally tortured

I need to throw up

Your sexuality didn’t do a 180. Normal porn got boring for the brain and then we have to find other stuff to get that same dopamine hit and to get that excitement. Your brain is tricking you into thinking that’s what you like but that’s not the case. You just gotta stay away from P, M, and O. It’s not easy and people relapse and stuff but don’t give up.

 

[Zayin07]

My opinion :

Searching for novelty huh..so you have become stuck and are now slowly becoming addicted...because what you are describing is very much the Coolidge effect.

You have been addicted for years so it is obviously not gonna be an easy road..7 months is nothing..10 months..even 2 more years will be nothing if you do not change your mindset and take actual concrete measures.

Get this well in your head..nofap is not a magical solution..it is a tool to help you achieve your goal..the real way to reboot is to really adopt nofap as a lifestyle..like take it as something normal..every urge..just sit still..do nothing..and think about something else..trick the mind..you are its master..then the urge will pass..then use porn blockers and other solutions to block out porn..use the rubber band 'flick' to temporarily snap out of sexual thoughts.

Do meditation... exercise a lot..read books..listen to music..have more distractions and hobbies while also just not obsessing or stressing about nofap streaks..just take nofap normally dude..recognise that relapses are normal..what matters is what you do to prevent it and how you manage the aftermath of a relapse or multiple relapses.

Free ur mind dude.