Stuck in PIED and Performance anxiety

[Barry_Burton]

Hi everyone,

I m new on this forum, i'm French, and even if i often use English for work, i can make some mistake as it's not my native language.

I am 37 yrs old, single for 1 yr, and stuck with PIED since i was a teenager, because of porn i started to watch when i was 13.
As i remember, i've been struggeling with PIED all my life, but also with a real lack of confidence in myself, that leads me to a massive performance anxiety about sex.

When you mix both, PIED and performance anxiety, you now have a cocktail i am completely stuck into.

I am at day 28 no PMO, and i started doing meditation in order to dissociate what causes my anxiety with putting into perspective the fact having sex is a good thing.

Also, i am convinced, as a member said on another thread, no P and no M is the real fight, O is not. That's why i would like to have advices from all of you : how to move on and get away from this trap to succeed in sex and intimacy.

Many questions are inside my head : How and when did you know your PIED was cured? How to try to have sex without gf? Do i have to try with escorts? What tips did you use for some of you who suffer with performance anxiety?

Thanks a lot.

 

[Deleted member 549438]

Man your story is almost identical to mine. I have had much better luck lately. For me, I've found just forgetting about PMO completely until you feel quite horny and want to have sex. Then go for it! Go into it knowing that you might fail. It helps to have someone who is really laid back - not someone you have zero connection with.

For me, I know when PIED was massively reduced when I felt quite horny, I felt a response in my body when looking at a woman I was attracted. And my penis felt long and sensitive to touch even when weeing!

Don't stress yourself out about doing this perfect because there's so much conflicting info.

 

[Barry_Burton]

Hi thetruth19),

Thanks a lot for your response. I'm going to look for your story if you posted it.

Just a question, how long did your PMO journey take for you to feel "ready" or healed enough to go to have real sex?

 

[cleaningupmyact]

welcome to the site

stuck with PIED since i was a teenager, because of porn i started to watch when i was 13.

you are not having PIED because of the porn you watched at 13.
You are having PIED because *you have not stopped watching* porn in 24 years.
What's the longest break from PMO you've had in you life? A month?

no P and no M is the real fight, O is not.

This is not what the science says. No one here says no O "forever" but yes for a temporary time, to reset your physiology and brain-chemistry that we have been abusing for many years with an unhealthy addiction.

There is a saying in 12-step programs:

"make your own program, get your own results."

Please read this, it answers your other question I think:
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...-when-will-x-or-y-symptoms-get-better.359321/

 

[Deleted member 549438]

Hi thetruth19),

Thanks a lot for your response. I'm going to look for your story if you posted it.

Just a question, how long did your PMO journey take for you to feel "ready" or healed enough to go to have real sex?

So difficult to say as I've been on and off nofap for a long time, changing modes. But the last time I healed was 2022. It took 5 months and 60 day no PMO streak – and about 1-2 MOs a month.

It just came back overnight and I felt incredibly horny and had a lust for life again. Since I relapsed, I've gone over 5 months and not had the same results this time. I've found that relapses are extremely harsh to my recovery – and it takes longer to heal every time you go back, seems that way anyway. It literally hurt my brain and led to headaches that keep coming and going. Your brain REALLY tries to latch onto it once you've starved yourself from it for months. Very scary. With porn, you're either in or out. Dipping your toe back in occasionally messes you up. And that's what I've been doing for a long time.