stuck in place

When I joined the navy 2 years ago I was thrown into the sea, stuck in place at the bottom, for almost two years I have been down there lifeless and hating my existence, but then something happened at work that made me finally open my eyes, shortly after I went home on leave for a whole month. I returned a new and renewed person, I no longer am at the bottom of the ocean, in fact I now am hovering above the waters on the path of loving life again, I will not stay there forever however, I plan to soar into the clouds one day and go even higher and higher. But Pornography is holding me down keeping me from rising higher, I do not have the will to beat this, when the urges come I lose all resolve and give in, this road seems impossible.