Stuck with sissy pornography

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by RockaChock, Sep 19, 2021.

  1. RockaChock

    RockaChock Fapstronaut

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    Hello everybody,
    I need help with this problem in my life. I'm struggling in this situation for more than a year.
    I started watching sissy porn 3 years ago because it gave me a sense of humiliation. after 2 years I eventually started to put myself in the girls' place in any kind of porn that I watched. it didn't take long since I started fingering myself and then I was excited to have a dildo in my ass. And now it's been like a month or 2 that I've bought a butt plug and a dildo. but I feel that this is not right for me, and recently I've realized that my confidence is too low that I can't find any girlfriend in my life so that's why I try to make myself a girl to have little connection with them.
    I don't wanna live this life, I wanna be a man, throw out my sex toys and start to have normal man life. please help me.
     
    jrm61 likes this.
  2. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    Well do just that, throw them away and stop watching it
     
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  3. RockaChock

    RockaChock Fapstronaut

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    that's my problem, after 3 years of watching those Hypno pron movies, now it's not easy to forget all of them. and throwing all toys out is hard too, I spent a lot of money on them and now I can't put them away easily. and you say stop watching them, I've tried this before, I've stopped watching them for few weeks several times, but after some time I always get back to them, it's like an addiction.
     
    jrm61 likes this.
  4. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Check out my story at Am I a Sissy?? (Actually a good story with happy ending, trust me, read the whole thing)

    The life you want to live is achievable. Do a reboot, find some connections, and get your life back on track
     
    2080Future, aliam_rezaie and Nabson like this.
  5. Svabo

    Svabo Fapstronaut

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    First of all, there's nothing bad about if you like anal stimulation. Sex is sex and there is no rules if everyone included are enjoying.
    Second, stop watching porn. Masturbation itself in any form isn't bad in your case, as is making yourself believing you want this by feeding your brain with that kind of content. There's no shortcut there, you just have to stop feeding yourself porn or porn substitutes. If you have urge to masturbate, do it but without porn and do it on the feeling, not on the taught of doing it.
    Third, there are plenty of females who are into sissy stuff. My advice would be to get into those circles (BDSM and cosplay/LARP crowd are usually open minded in that area) and find there girl who at least doesn't mind what you do. Letting that go from your chest and showing yourself to her would ease your psyche and build up your courage and sex with her eventually would help you get back on the male track. It's a process and takes time. From my experience, girls doesn't like "pathetic" sissies (males who get passive so that others have to enforce themself upon them), they like "females with penis" - a woman that can be in a leading role during sexual play. In that scenario, male dressed up like female is bonus and a turn on, no matter what kind of toys or play they are using
     
  6. It is an addiction, and one of the heaviest a man can fall into.
    I've been there and worked out of it myself.
    This kind of porn is screwing up with the deepest part of yourself: your identity. That's why it's programmed so deep into your brain.
    Do you however really want to break free from the gravity of this kind of porn, than you have to do a full reboot.
    The only thing you have to do, is to stop feeding the black wolf in your brain, that is, stop watching porn.
    And destroying the objects that you use will help you tremendously in the recovery process.
     
  7. DeeJ4y

    DeeJ4y Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I know what addiction is like, I am too suffering from it lol. It is hard to get away from. I personally have not watched that stuff but if you believe hypnosis works you are giving it more power. But if you know that yot have to stop and you want to stop then who is there stopping you in your journey to stop doing that stuff. You are not meant to put anything up your ass, it is for pooping only no matter female or male. Only prostate massage should be done with the poop that you take. Try to rationalize your behaviour. Everything is forgiven but do your best to change. It is okay to fail, but not tossing those things is not even trying to change.
     
    Roady likes this.
  8. ProminentPosterior

    ProminentPosterior Fapstronaut

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    That sunk cost fallacy tho

    Yeet that trash into the sun

    Donate them to goodwill
     
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  9. RockaChock

    RockaChock Fapstronaut

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  10. RockaChock

    RockaChock Fapstronaut

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    you know, I feel bad when I do anal stuff on myself. actually I know that anal is not good in any way. I know that I don't wanna be a sissy so I should do my best to push myself out of this rabbit hole.
     
  11. RockaChock

    RockaChock Fapstronaut

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    good answer Roady. thank you very much for your help. I just started nofap today, I'll try to keep up with it.
     
    Roady likes this.
  12. virtuscb

    virtuscb Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I agree, if you don't want it, stop consuming porn in general. Nobody talks about it, but that stuff is all over american culture and discussions on "am i gay?" "am i trans?" are everywhere. Focus on the good things, go focus on working out, focus on raising your social status, finish your education and so on. Do things that make your proud. That stuff will go away naturally.
     
  13. I did the same thing in the past and I am so grateful I was able to cut it out from my life.
    Chose your moral standard and stick with it.
     
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  14. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    I agree that there's nothing wrong with masturbating, fetishes, and pretty much anything with consenting adults. However, there are many problematic issues with the sissy fetish and engaging in desires that seem to stem from porn or trauma/insecurities.

    1. Sissy porn is complicated because the majority of those that create, share, and interact with media in that fetish realm are either very compulsive and consumed straight/bi cis men and legitimate MtF trans women. While the sissy fetish can be a way to experience and explore many feelings that would otherwise go untouched, it is often very harmful for both the straight/bi cis men and the trans woman. There is no line between reality and fantasy, and both camps promote actions and lifestyles that are very detrimental to the lives of many users. Legitimate trans woman advocate for hormone replacement therapy, dressing/acting like a sissy 24/7, and other permanent lifestyle changes. While this may be very beneficial for trans women coming into their identity, these changes are often catastrophic for males, and can lead to permanent infertility, loss of family/relationships, and mental health complications. Cis males who engage in the sissy fetish just in the bedroom say those who are feminine must be submissive, often engage in race play in sexual situations, and have overblown characters they act out as. While these may be fun for people who live their lives as men but get kinky in the bedroom, trans women who are in their identities 24/7 may see this messaging and decide they should be passive and submissive in every area of their life, will develop harmful racial stereotypes, and generally feel the need to act as a sexual object 24/7.

    In the end, the lines between reality and fantasy, enjoyment and sustainability, and respect and playfullness just does not exist in the sissy fetish right now, especially because the fetish is mostly online and underground. I do not encourage anyone to bring anything they encounter with the sissy fetish into their sex lives.

    2. I do agree that many individual aspects of the sissy fetish can be fun and connecting in someone's sex life. Chastity play, male anal play, and crossdressing have always pretty taboo, but nonetheless practices by long term monogamous couples for some time now. However, for those recovering from sissy porn addiction, these activities are often so connected to their desires for porn that they need to be ignored for a long time for full recovery to happen. If you are recovering from sissy porn addiction, I would say anecdotally you should stay away from sissy porn and any related activities for 3 years straight before engaging with them (3 years since most porn-abuse influencers say 3 years pass before they feel the effects of porn completely leave them).

    For many that get involved in sissy porn, they often do not have significant sexual experience of any kind with partners in real life. Therefore, it's likely best for people like that to have fairly vanilla sexual relationships for some time after their reboot before getting into any kinky stuff. No matter someone's age, you wouldn't tell them to get right into extreme BDSM right after losing their virginity! It's good to have a bedrock of vanilla sexual experience before getting into any heavy fetish.
     
  15. Randombro

    Randombro Fapstronaut

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    OP, some porn addicts tend to cope their insecurities and psychological problems with porn.
    You watch this shit because you don’t feel masculine enough and you feel inferior to other men.
    And this is okay, I think all men have during their life some problems with their masculinity, especially in this times.
    But you went too far, way farther than the most other men.

    I can see in your post that you are not happy with your current situation and that this doesn‘t fit with your moral compass.
    This show clearly that you are not a „sissy“ and are lead by your addiction and identity crises.
    Also the fact that you do anal stuff without enjoying it and even not wanting it, shows that you do it compulsively.

    Decide today, do you want to live this way in future or do you want to make a hard cut and live a humane life again?
    If you don’t want to live this way, then delete all your porn videos and break your fucking dildos apart and throw them away and never look back.

    It doesn’t matter how much you paid for it. If you don’t end with this mentally, you will never recover and you will fall every time in this loop back.
    And trust me, you will not be happy. You will waste your life and fall in this loop every time back again and again.

    Delete all your porn collections, break your dildos apart and throw them away, go in front of the mirror and say that you are done with your past life and that you want to start another, better life.
    Look in your eyes and shout that you are a man and that your are valuable and to good for this shit.

    Start your reboot and introduce things which will build you up again.
    Start with simple things like lifting weights to build muscles, improve your diet and eat good stuff. You are what you eat. When you eat shit, you are shit.
    Say every time in front of the mirror what aspects you like on you, what you want to achieve and how great you are. Fake it until you make it.
    Socialize again. Go out with your friends and start slowly your dating life.
    Start educate yourself, read books about gaining more confidence etc.

    You decide who you are and everything is in your hands. Be smart and decide wisely.
    I did the same before 40 days and I never looked back. Even in this fucking 40 days, my life improved extreme and this is just the beginning.
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2021
  16. treed

    treed Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't say there's no "good" aspect of anal "stuff", play, whatever word fits.

    When you use toys on yourself, you massage muscles down there, muscles that are connected to your whole pelvic floor, and your hips, and your lower back. Playing around with toys that are body safe like steel, glass or silicone, using a conventional lubricant with a water or a silicone base is okay.

    Most people who go to physical therapists to treat pelvic floor dysfunction learn to contract their pelvic floor by using the muscles in their vaginas to contract on dildos of different sizes/the fingers of the physical therapist, and it works the same way for the muscles you got down there, even if yes people do poop from there, and a lot of care and attention has to be taken to safeguard the health and safety of any bootyhole by taking appropriate time and care.

    I think the most important aspect of this part of the siss* fetish is that it's described very unrealistically:

    Penetration with porn sized penises, submission to all people who want to engage in sex with you, the idea of only orgasming only from anal sex, etc...

    If anyone wants to do anal stuff, it's okay, and it's okay not to want to because it brings you back to your addiction. To some others, it can help put a more realistic twist on the whole fetish.

    Just like you can separate different parts of the fetish:

    - The theme of emasculation
    - Submission
    - Using a chastity Cage
    - Being forced to do certain things
    -Raceplay (normally white siss* and black dominant)
    - Crossdressing
    - Other aspects of Feminization ( like Make up, shaving, wigs, etc...)

    All of these aspects of the fetish can be interacted with individually, or not at all, but when you separate them, maybe you can get out of the fetish and realize what really makes you tick, and maybe you can find what can bring you happiness in your relationship, and that you can use when having sex, and what is actually from porn, from these images and videos that are products meant for consumption either made by businesses or individuals.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2021
  17. Svabo

    Svabo Fapstronaut

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    I think you are missing the main point. Speaking from personal experience, ignoring requires a ton of psychic strength and never helps in a long run. Healing comes from being accepted for what you do even if it is about something short term like sissy porn or lifestyle. Even in your example, you say that your views began to shift after you realised that you aren't so feminine as you thought but still you have kept some of behaviour that you find acceptable to have with your female partner - and that IS the cure: to feel accepted by your partner.

    I too wanted to go sissy all the way and had fetish on nylons from early age and would watch only cd/tv/ts porn and had PIED while being married for 14 yhrs and because my ex didn't had the will to understand, i persisted in those activities while felt ashamed and unworthy. We broke when i was 38 and few months after I've started with nofap. A year later and few women after, I've met my current female partner with whom I've started to explore my sexuality, dressed for her as sissy and had various types of sex. Now, two years in relationship, i don't feel the urge to act as sissy, nor she asks for it, rather we both came to conclusion that it's was something that i needed to experience with someone I've trusted. Now as it has been experienced in RL, my mind doesn't bring it up any more. I still feel attracted to nylons but not in the same way, like i don't feel the urge to wear them.
     
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  18. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    I'm very glad that you have overcome your sissy porn addiction. It is interesting that your desires for sissy related activities decreased after engaging with them. I have not heard of that happening before.

    While everyone has their own path to recovery and should try methods that work for them, there are many reasons why I don't think engaging the sissy fetish with your partner will work as well for others as it did you.

    For starters, you:
    • were able to explore these with a trusted partner with plenty of life experience and trust
    • are getting older and likely feeling less desire for crazy sex acts, like all older people
    • dealt with these issues as a dully grown adult, not a hormonal 20 year old
    Other people who suffer from sissy porn and fetish addiction are often:
    • either very sexually inexperienced or virgins, so they don't have a baseline sexuality to base anything off
    • very compulsive and unable to control their desires and energy
    • don't have trusted partners or partners with life experience and self-security
    While this may have worked with you, your case seems to be the only one of its kind, so I will still encourage others to follow the normal steps of rebooting and rewiring with vanilla sex. At that point, urges are usually negligible or discernibly not the same as your innate sexual desires, so they're easier to discount.

    I actually sometimes encourage people in the throes of sissy addiction to plan to engage their fetishes with partners (albeit 3 years after quitting all sissy porn and fetish activities). It's a way to trick the brains of sissy porn addicts that their dopamine rushes will come back eventually. However, after significant time rebooting and being in relationships, the urge to engage in those activities just goes away. They tend to come back most often when we're sad or have traumatic life events, but like all vices, sissy porn gets you when you're down.

    Thanks for sharing. I'm glad things have worked out for you
     
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  19. virtuscb

    virtuscb Fapstronaut

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    I think that stuff is beeing pushed on society for over 10 years already. Young kids watch that stuff an now that they are 18 they question themselves. In porn it basically says "if you are white you have a small dick and you are inferior to blacks with bbc. you might aswell be a woman...". In american culture at the same time you have all this white guilt, people getting punished by the cult-like lynch mobs for saying the n-word: yes you should feel guilty. Since american media controls all the media in the world (we in germany consume every american trend there is... and all the big tech is in america) europeans are not alien to the american mentaility. At the same time you have all the talk about beeing acceptive of trans since its in the LGBT+ cult and that if you take some pills and put some silicone shit in your breast, you will be in fact a woman. But the reality is that you never can be a woman. You can act like a woman sure, but do you think young kids know that? And the race war that is beeing provoked through porn has nothing to do with the blacks. Do they really have it that good in american society, statistically speaking? No. It's something way more vicious. It might be companies that sell drugs for deppression, anxiety and all this shit (I mean since when did everyone need a psycho therapist and meds to make it through the day) and even more viciously those who sell hormones and don't care about you at all. Think about the hundrets of servers on porn sites remain free when there is nothing advertised. Have you heard of Nord VPN on a porn site? Or Coca Cola? I mean what is going on here?
     
  20. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    I've made posts about this before. I really don't think there is some grand conspiracy. It's just human nature, echo chambers, and porn addiction intersecting in a terrible way.

    Who is behind sissy hypno stuff and what is their actual goal?
     
    Dr.J_76ers likes this.

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