Stupid Stupid Stupid

I know how you feel my friend ... just threw out 30 days of nofap because of scumbag urge.

 

I was on 54 days, when urge overcame me. I slipped today as well, but I did that to see what triggers me, so in the future I can replace them with something more valueable.

At least in my perspective, after every slippery you rediscover a old passion/activity you did before PMO took over.

Stay strong, bro and keep on the good fight !

 

I am at 60 days with no PMO. HOWEVER....I was edging off and on the first month. Then, during the previous month, I have been edging almost daily, sometimes while watching "soft" but erotic videos on youtube. This finally resulted in watching and edging to lots of porn last night for many hours!! Afterwards I masturbated to orgasm. I have been up all night and am feeling very very restless and tired!! I realize now that the edging, esp. to images of any kind, has been very harmful, although I wasn't ejaculating--and not therefore "technically" PMO'ing.

I realize now that edging of any kind needs to stop. I am going to begin today to attempt no edging of any kind, and no looking at any erotic pictures of any type! I have just now reset and reworded my second tracker to measure progress in this area. The two months of no PMO'ing has been a worthwhile first step. However, the REAL WORK begins now!! I fear that much withdrawal pain will be coming my way for a while but I am hopeful and will persevere...I will try to update this thread with future developments.

 

Way to go freedomfighter, that's exactly what you need to do. Keep up the good work !

 

I guess that it's spring related . we'll start all over again and be stronger this time. A kick in the back is a step forward.

 

I agree, it's spring, sunshine and everything , but as Rocky Balboa says: "It doesn't matter how hard you get hit, what counts is getting back up and keep moving forward."

 

Exactly. I know we can do this.

 

Thanks johnf!
I too, like the reference to spring. Springtime is all about new growth and new change. As far as my situation is concerned, yesterday's mishap brought a lot of new light and insight into my struggle! I think that we can learn a lot, not only from our own slip-ups, but also from those of the rest of us. I find it very supportive having the rest of you to share this with!
Let's combine our energies toward working together to beat this…!

Freedom fighter

 

It's very important to not beat up on yourself when you slip. It is counterproductive because part of recovery is boosting your self esteem,and that can't happen if you're yelling at yourself. I have been through that many times - we all have, I'm sure. Don't aim the rage outward, channel it positively. In trying to recover, you're trying to treat yourself better. Part of that is loving and caring for yourself. If your child makes a mistake you don't call her stupid, because she obviously doesn't deserve that treatment. Neither do you.