Success: GF took me to sex shop

Me and my GF keep breaking up and getting back together again lol. She took me to a sex shop. Through out that time I was half closing my eyes. As soon as she wanted me to see a dirty video, I pretended I saw it and gave her a comment. Yeah, it's normal. I told her, you can get in from the internet.

I mentioned my nofap journey briefly early in the relationship but she forgot. Even though I went to the sex shop, I had no desire to go in again. I know that stuff will harm me. I'm still protective of my mind After the sex shop, she showed me a porn image. Again i quickly covered my eyes.

I take responceablity of everything that happens to me I'm the one that can resist my urges and break free of porn forever. The experience did effect me a bit, lucky no urges. It's like I'm being force to have sex against my will, with someone I don't like. I feel sick to my stomach. I still hate porn and I always will, that will never change in me

It like life is always testing me. Sometimes in life, things happen, you have no control over.

I did tell her later on, I do not want to see porn again or any sex images in my life time. She didn't think I was serious. She now knows I am. That was a week ago. I'm always going to protect myself from these images forever. I tasted what life is like with no porn. I love it I'm never going back there again. I'm a free man No porn for life

 

In terms of the nofap, I didn't explain why I was on that journey. I didn't explain the PIED because I'm 91 percent cured. It's very rare for me to get ED. Sometimes I do, but I don't worry about it. I can't blame her for that one.

In terms of the relationship. To be honest, I'm quite damaged as a person. I have holes in my personality. She knows I still love her. Every time I break up with her, she find a way to get back together with me. I know she isn't good for me but I have soft spot for her. She also treated me really well in the first month, deep down I want to believe she will change. I know she will never change but I keep lying to myself. She is also the prettiest girl I been with. I guess I got what I deserved for being shallow.

I broke up with her again. Her phone is full of guys texting her and asking her out on a date. The last straw was this guy wanting to buy her a £250 earphones. She shows me this and tells me I don't love her. She really know how to brake and hurt someone. I broke up with her again by text, I did it in person before so now text is better.

I chatted to a couple of girls. I found a cute girl not as pretty as her. She seems really caring and loving towards me. Less drama and more happier Hopefully this will go well, too early to tell to be honest.
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Thanks man I totally agree. It's not like I want to but things like this will string up from time to time.

Since my nofap journey, 3 things have happened.

1. A girl wasnt wearing a bra on the underground and bent over. I saw her breast, within 4 seconds I realised what happened and left my chair and sat some where else.

2. I was watching Atomic Blonde, thinking it was all action from the trailer. There was a nude scene, so had to close my eyes and cover my ears. An other sex scene came up and I decided to not watch the movie at all. Too many triggers. I was by myself at that time

3. Girlfriend pulls me into sex shop.

Life is a learning curve and sometimes things like this happen. The longer you stay on nofap, the more you learn. That's just life. In my opinion the mistakes I made in the 286 days of no PM isn't too bad. I think I done pretty well

If things like this spring up by accident, (I mean ACCIDENT) you have to have a strong mindset to resist. If you have a strong minset when these accidents happen, you will do well
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I do have sex. I just don't P or M. My senses are coming back and a slight touch gets me turned on and hard. It might take about 30 secs or a minute to get hard. I'm not completely healed yet. I can not get a hard erection from holding hands or hugging. I can't not get turned on by looking at a girls I find attractive on the street.

I ejaculate very quickly now. The way I over come that problem is to have sex 2 or 3 times a day. That way I can last longer.

I use to see girls as objects. I can only get turned on in a certain way. Now I can really get turned on by touch very easierly. I still feel I need an other year to fully recover. So far 10 months ain't bad and its good enough. 15 percent of the time I can not get erect but a lot better than before. 85 percent for me is really good.

If it's a new girl, it might take me a hour to get it up because I havn't developed deep feeling for her. Obviously I do have feeling but the feelings are not deep enough for a hard erection. I have to feel she loves me before I can get hard.

The last 3 days I had some urges, thats because my new girlfriend has gone back to China. We havn't had sex yet but we are going to. I be staying in her studio soon. The urges are not as strong as before but you still need to fight them. On a scale of 1 to 10, it's now a 2 or a 3. In the beginning of my journey, it's a 10 for the first 2 to 3 months most days.