Success: GF took me to sex shop

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Happy Man, Nov 28, 2017.

  1. Happy Man

    Happy Man Fapstronaut

    Me and my GF keep breaking up and getting back together again lol. She took me to a sex shop. Through out that time I was half closing my eyes. As soon as she wanted me to see a dirty video, I pretended I saw it and gave her a comment. Yeah, it's normal. I told her, you can get in from the internet.

    I mentioned my nofap journey briefly early in the relationship but she forgot. Even though I went to the sex shop, I had no desire to go in again. I know that stuff will harm me. I'm still protective of my mind :) After the sex shop, she showed me a porn image. Again i quickly covered my eyes.

    I take responceablity of everything that happens to me :) I'm the one that can resist my urges and break free of porn forever. The experience did effect me a bit, lucky no urges. It's like I'm being force to have sex against my will, with someone I don't like. I feel sick to my stomach. I still hate porn and I always will, that will never change in me :)

    It like life is always testing me. Sometimes in life, things happen, you have no control over.

    I did tell her later on, I do not want to see porn again or any sex images in my life time. She didn't think I was serious. She now knows I am. That was a week ago. I'm always going to protect myself from these images forever. I tasted what life is like with no porn. I love it :) I'm never going back there again. I'm a free man :) No porn for life :)
     
  2. mpk

    mpk Fapstronaut

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    Inspiring one...Thank you!!! And that there'll be nothing to hide is like going back to your childhood days!!
     
  3. determined_new_life

    determined_new_life Fapstronaut

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    Tasted what life is like with no porn, that's a great line and observation of your self. Something I have tasted too.
     
  4. i am 268 days PMO free and i am a girl. 9 months with your current gf and you keep breaking up and getting back together...why do you break up? before you relapse i recommend you to break up with her for good. she is obviously at least a p addict if not also a s addict and doesn't show respect for your nofap journey. you are in an unhealthy relationship and she doesn't wanna quit watching p and everything else related. why are you still with her? I don't get it
     
  5. Shit man, that girl doesn't realize what danger she exposed you too.

    Don't know much details about OP's life but I second that statement. She doesn't seem to understand your past struggle or worse, she thinks it's fun to submit you to temptation. Again, perhaps she didn't mean any harm, but it still looks like she's enjoying trying to poison you and lead you to your ruin. How would you live with the fact that she threw you back down the hole?
     
  6. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    Very inspiring words my friend!

    Stay strong! :)
     
    Happy Man likes this.
  7. Happy Man

    Happy Man Fapstronaut

    In terms of the nofap, I didn't explain why I was on that journey. I didn't explain the PIED because I'm 91 percent cured. It's very rare for me to get ED. Sometimes I do, but I don't worry about it. I can't blame her for that one.

    In terms of the relationship. To be honest, I'm quite damaged as a person. I have holes in my personality. She knows I still love her. Every time I break up with her, she find a way to get back together with me. I know she isn't good for me but I have soft spot for her. She also treated me really well in the first month, deep down I want to believe she will change. I know she will never change but I keep lying to myself. She is also the prettiest girl I been with. I guess I got what I deserved for being shallow.

    I broke up with her again. Her phone is full of guys texting her and asking her out on a date. The last straw was this guy wanting to buy her a £250 earphones. She shows me this and tells me I don't love her. She really know how to brake and hurt someone. I broke up with her again by text, I did it in person before so now text is better.

    I chatted to a couple of girls. I found a cute girl :) not as pretty as her. She seems really caring and loving towards me. Less drama and more happier :) Hopefully this will go well, too early to tell to be honest.
    .
     
  8. read what you wrote:
    "she isn't good for me"----this says it all
    "she also treated me really well in the first month"----they always do when the relationship is deeply unhealthy but then they change
    "I know she will never change but I keep lying to myself"----exactly, find someone else
    "She is always the prettiest girl I been with"-----strongest reasons why you kept being with her, let's be honest i have been there

    If she gets tons of texts from guys asking for a date that means she looks "available and single". why a guy would want to buy her a £250 earphones? this is very odd. she is enjoying seeing you hurt and tempting you in your nofap journey. you are better off without her. Don't go back to her ever, for your sake. she is not a good presence in your life

    well, best of luck with this other girl
     
  9. youliveyoulearn

    youliveyoulearn Fapstronaut

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    She's a bad influence in your life, remove it even if it hurts for the moment.
     
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  10. I am just imagining this grown up man walking around in a sex shop, covering his eyes like an immature little kid everytime a womanly figure is shown lol.

    You don't have a mental filter in place. Develop a way to filter out artificial stimuli and real stimuli, and you won't have to walk around like a horse with blinders.
     
    MrMurk likes this.
  11. Darren Ramsay

    Darren Ramsay New Fapstronaut

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    Wow. Nice, my friend! I'm looking forward to having my life w/o porn in the double digits, then the triple digits. After that - the rest of my life!
     
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  12. If no one else has asked, why the hell are you still with this girl?!
     
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  13. Good Job. Alot of men are way too weak and will cave or agree to anything if theres pussy envolved. I may have caved myself. way to stay strong.
     
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  14. RecoveringFapaholic

    RecoveringFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    Or better yet avoid sex shops altogether. And no need to be condescending. The OP has made it nearly 300 days. If anybody knows what nofap protocols to follow, it's him.
     
  15. Happy Man

    Happy Man Fapstronaut

    Thanks man :) I totally agree. It's not like I want to but things like this will string up from time to time.

    Since my nofap journey, 3 things have happened.

    1. A girl wasnt wearing a bra on the underground and bent over. I saw her breast, within 4 seconds I realised what happened and left my chair and sat some where else.

    2. I was watching Atomic Blonde, thinking it was all action from the trailer. There was a nude scene, so had to close my eyes and cover my ears. An other sex scene came up and I decided to not watch the movie at all. Too many triggers. I was by myself at that time

    3. Girlfriend pulls me into sex shop.

    Life is a learning curve and sometimes things like this happen. The longer you stay on nofap, the more you learn. That's just life. In my opinion the mistakes I made in the 286 days of no PM isn't too bad. I think I done pretty well

    If things like this spring up by accident, (I mean ACCIDENT) you have to have a strong mindset to resist. If you have a strong minset when these accidents happen, you will do well :)
    .
     
  16. A new day

    A new day Fapstronaut

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    Usually I’d feel sad about a break up. But she sounds like bad news. You are wise to realize it’s your own damage that draws you to damaged and damaging people and draws them to you. This isn’t love. It’s a attempt to heal that is as incredibly common. It usually ends up derailing progress.

    You didn’t ask but if I were you I’d limit yourself to non-committed relationships until you’ve healed more. It’s not easy cause girls often press for more commitment. But until the holes you described are healed you might be setting yourself up for big trouble. Maybe date but make it clear you are a free agent not looking for a girlfriend.

    Actually you’ll be able to see your progress when you begin attracting and being attracted to healthier girls and friends.

    Best of luck.
     
  17. KurtCog

    KurtCog Fapstronaut

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    Hello Happy Man.
    How are things going for you right now. Feeling strong?
    You seem to have gone a long time without PMO. I sometimes find it hard. But if you abstain from porn and masturbation, do you ever have sex or do you never ejaculate? How does you girlfriend react to this. Is it not hard not to cum for a very long time? How do you manage?
    Also, can you see the way porn has effected you girlfriend in any ways? If so, how?'

    Stay strong,
    Kurt
     
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  18. Happy Man

    Happy Man Fapstronaut

    I do have sex. I just don't P or M. My senses are coming back and a slight touch gets me turned on and hard. It might take about 30 secs or a minute to get hard. I'm not completely healed yet. I can not get a hard erection from holding hands or hugging. I can't not get turned on by looking at a girls I find attractive on the street.

    I ejaculate very quickly now. The way I over come that problem is to have sex 2 or 3 times a day. That way I can last longer.

    I use to see girls as objects. I can only get turned on in a certain way. Now I can really get turned on by touch very easierly. I still feel I need an other year to fully recover. So far 10 months ain't bad and its good enough. 15 percent of the time I can not get erect but a lot better than before. 85 percent for me is really good.

    If it's a new girl, it might take me a hour to get it up because I havn't developed deep feeling for her. Obviously I do have feeling but the feelings are not deep enough for a hard erection. I have to feel she loves me before I can get hard.

    The last 3 days I had some urges, thats because my new girlfriend has gone back to China. We havn't had sex yet but we are going to. I be staying in her studio soon. The urges are not as strong as before but you still need to fight them. On a scale of 1 to 10, it's now a 2 or a 3. In the beginning of my journey, it's a 10 for the first 2 to 3 months most days.
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2017
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  19. canbax

    canbax Fapstronaut
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    congrats bro you got a powerful willpower. ;) I hope I will be like you one day
     
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