Success won't get you the girl

modern milarepa

modern milarepa

Fapstronaut
It's like saying simply by doing semen retention you are going to be a great engineer or a violin player without ever going to university or playing the violin.

Sure good looks, money, status can win you some attention from the girls but making a girl fall in love of you, being able to handle her mood swings and a long term relationship, dealing with sex, choosing the right girl are all a different skills in itself that has nothing to do with your bank account or your looks.

I've met great brilliant men in their fields that were really bad with girls, sometimes success can make you terrible with girls because you are so focus in your work that you don't develop any emotional intelligence to deal with women. Maybe they can get a girl, but they choose the wrong girl or she's a gold digger that is only for the money or maybe she is a good girl but they simply don't know how to handle a woman.

Usually the only people that advocate looks and success to be good with girls are virgins, incels and people unsuccessful with girls, they think that simply by doing semen retention or being rich is all they need to get the girl. Like if women were some type of magical beings that fall in love by the smell of a long semen retention streak and success.

Conclusion
You learn about girls dealing with girls, you learn to play the violin playing the violin.
 
StarRider said:
Let's face it: Most guys on this forum don't have any choices
Click to expand...

They probably have more than they realize. I for one didn't have much success with girls until very recently. What changed? I don't know, but it was subtle enough for me to barely notice anything. Wether one is able to attract people seems to be down to very little details that I think anyone could get right if only we could pinpoint what excatly they are.
 
modern milarepa said:
they think that simply by doing semen retention or being rich is all they need to get the girl.
Click to expand...
Well, it's true, no? Not with semen retention, cuz this is bullshit. But for the rest, it is. You say "get". Getting a girl is easy if you have the looks and the bank account. What is harder, and you said it, is to develop a relationship.

However, you talk as if looks and the bank account don't matter. Which is false.

But anyway.
 
modern milarepa said:
It's like saying simply by doing semen retention you are going to be a great engineer or a violin player without ever going to university or playing the violin.

Sure good looks, money, status can win you some attention from the girls but making a girl fall in love of you, being able to handle her mood swings and a long term relationship, dealing with sex, choosing the right girl are all a different skills in itself that has nothing to do with your bank account or your looks.

I've met great brilliant men in their fields that were really bad with girls, sometimes success can make you terrible with girls because you are so focus in your work that you don't develop any emotional intelligence to deal with women. Maybe they can get a girl, but they choose the wrong girl or she's a gold digger that is only for the money or maybe she is a good girl but they simply don't know how to handle a woman.

Usually the only people that advocate looks and success to be good with girls are virgins, incels and people unsuccessful with girls, they think that simply by doing semen retention or being rich is all they need to get the girl. Like if women were some type of magical beings that fall in love by the smell of a long semen retention streak and success.

Conclusion
You learn about girls dealing with girls, you learn to play the violin playing the violin.
Click to expand...

Do you have any tips on how to from the depths of my soul have a greater love and kindness in my thoughts towards women in general?

I notice I tend to hold onto past rejections and deep down have a little bit of anger towards women.

do you have any advice on overcoming this issue?
 
jcl1990 said:
Do you have any tips on how to from the depths of my soul have a greater love and kindness in my thoughts towards women in general?

I notice I tend to hold onto past rejections and deep down have a little bit of anger towards women.

do you have any advice on overcoming this issue?
Click to expand...
Sounds like a (I don’t mean this in an offensive way) problem of being egotistical. Being rejected isn’t an attack on your person, and people are allowed to reject you. Even if you’re a Chad, you’re going to strike out with more women than not.

When she’s not interested, drop it and move on. Learn to play a numbers game. Don’t attach to one woman, go and try to meet dozens, and attach to the one you’ve bonded with the longest and closest.

Also, don’t let women use you. If a girl isn’t expressing romantic interest, drop her. Men who have female “friends” that they are simultaneously in love with are puppets.
 
gordie said:
Sounds like a (I don’t mean this in an offensive way) problem of being egotistical. Being rejected isn’t an attack on your person, and people are allowed to reject you. Even if you’re a Chad, you’re going to strike out with more women than not.

When she’s not interested, drop it and move on. Learn to play a numbers game. Don’t attach to one woman, go and try to meet dozens, and attach to the one you’ve bonded with the longest and closest.

Also, don’t let women use you. If a girl isn’t expressing romantic interest, drop her. Men who have female “friends” that they are simultaneously in love with are puppets.
Click to expand...

thanks for the reply. Yea I definitely agree about the egotistical part. I guess that’s truly what it is, deep down I just am taking it as an attack on my self.

I notice though that I have some lingering negative thoughts/feelings though towards women. That’s why I was asking Modern Milarepa if he had any techniques or special ways of thinking that would allow me to “unroot” these negative thought patterns.

I agree with your diagnose of being egotistical. However, how do you think I can go about curing it?

And yea haha, guys who act like they are friends with a girl when they actually like them are pretty pathetic in my opinion.
 
jcl1990 said:
Do you have any tips on how to from the depths of my soul have a greater love and kindness in my thoughts towards women in general?
Click to expand...

In a way women are pure emotion, they can be manipulative, play games and they are the negative aspect of the world they are the opposite pole to us. They favorite word is NO. But women can be very sweet, nurturing, love and caring people that see others beyond appearances and lust.

They are a mix of heaven and hell, in a way you need to understand them, that way you don't get angry on how they act, that is just who they are for better or worse. Sometimes they make very serious mistakes for this and hurt themselves and others, so don't get angry they can't change who they are, this creates compassion and understanding towards women.

The best way to really enjoy women is simply dealing with them with a lot of precaution, cold mind to analyse their behavior and words, naturalness, not expecting anything in return, have an open mind, lots of patience. And they will show you their sweet side, but don't expect the sweet to come without the bitter.

jcl1990 said:
I notice I tend to hold onto past rejections and deep down have a little bit of anger towards women.
Click to expand...

Women will always be women, just like you don't get angry to nature because one day it gives a beautiful sunny day and the next a hurricane.
 
you are totally right, but women should not be a man's main focus should they ? if nothing makes you happy and you can't manage your life, looking for a relationship does not sound like a good idea... am i getting something wrong ?
 
moliver_xxii said:
you are totally right, but women should not be a man's main focus should they ? if nothing makes you happy and you can't manage your life, looking for a relationship does not sound like a good idea... am i getting something wrong ?
Click to expand...

Yes, they are not a priority just like getting out the shower is not a priority but if you do it wrong you could fall, break your head and die.

You simply have to understand girls, not making them your priority.
 
thanks, had a few awkward experiences earlier this year, this notion of "understanding" i was familiar with, but you put it in a practical and genuine way, thanks again for showing new patterns of thinking !
 
StarRider said:
Let's face it: Most guys on this forum don't have any choices.
Click to expand...

Once you start to know yourself and work on yourself you begin to appreciate yourself more. In that process you realize you have plenty of choices, and that there's no hurry
 
Girls are attracted to high status men, but you shouldn't try to improve for girls, do it for yourself.

Just putting it out there for people, personally it doesn't matter to me becaue I'm not part of this game, I chose to live a celibate lifestyle.
 
Quezatolah said:
Girls are attracted to high status men, but you shouldn't try to improve for girls, do it for yourself.

Just putting it out there for people, personally it doesn't matter to me becaue I'm not part of this game, I chose to live a celibate lifestyle.
Click to expand...

Yes, me too. My philosophy is that I'm going to be celibate until I find "the one".

But for me, finding the one isn't going to be this big searching, approaching, attracting nightmare.

I'm going to be me, and just live my life. If she's there, or if she's not, I don't care.

Because I've dated, I've been married, I'm divorced and everything in between.

None of it is all that great.
 
LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself said:
Yes, me too. My philosophy is that I'm going to be celibate until I find "the one".

But for me, finding the one isn't going to be this big searching, approaching, attracting nightmare.

I'm going to be me, and just live my life. If she's there, or if she's not, I don't care.

Because I've dated, I've been married, I'm divorced and everything in between.

None of it is all that great.
Click to expand...
I see, for me I'm not even looking for one, I just see more value in a life where I didn't turn into a shell of a man because I got married.

Funny enough in my teens I wanted a big family but I really got to know myself and what I really wanted out of life, I'm going down a different path to most people.
 
Quezatolah said:
I see, for me I'm not even looking for one, I just see more value in a life where I didn't turn into a shell of a man because I got married.

Funny enough in my teens I wanted a big family but I really got to know myself and what I really wanted out of life, I'm going down a different path to most people.
Click to expand...

More people are foregoing the family life these days, I've read.

I was not a happy kid and I never got along with my dad,
so I just never really considered having my own family.

When I got married, my wife was 37, but she said she didn't want to have kids.

That 3 year window went by like a vapor.

But I never felt like I have missed anything, even to this day.
 
LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself said:
More people are foregoing the family life these days, I've read.

I was not a happy kid and I never got along with my dad,
so I just never really considered having my own family.

When I got married, my wife was 37, but she said she didn't want to have kids.

That 3 year window went by like a vapor.

But I never felt like I have missed anything, even to this day.
Click to expand...
Alot of people have successfully pulled off the monk lifestyle and had a good life, so I know I'm not missing out on anything.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top