Success

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by I'mJustAChoice, Apr 21, 2019.

  1. I'mJustAChoice

    I'mJustAChoice Fapstronaut

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    Final update: Yeah, I finally can say that I succeeded. My penis works, all it takes is the right context. Now my sexual life begins, a lot of self discovering lays ahead, and I am thrilled about it. Guys, it's possible, it's always possible. In fact, today she got down on me while making out and my penis went from kind of hard to normal, I managed that pretty well by simply not giving it importance and focusing on pleasing her instead. Then a couple hours later we got a fiery moment and I was like "damn, now it looks like it works" , she tried again, it worked perfectly and we finally had sex.
    Sex: Male.
    Age: 25.
    Days without porn: 138.
    Maximum no MO: 36? The 36 first days, actually.
    Times MO without porn: 8?
    Doing it mindfully: 4.
    Doing it while sexting: 3 (including pics taken for me or meant for me, which I don't consider porn, but I know some of you would).
    Doing it after making out with a girl and not getting to fuck her: 1
    Reasons why I started:
    1) Virgin.
    2) 1 1 years of trans porn, last 5 years of almost exclusively trans porn.
    3) Always using PMO as an estres reliever.
    4) Feeling things for women (love) and getting turned on by them (especially when drunk) but always PMO to trans, as a way out to avoid women and rejection.
    5) Feling totally lost and ashamed for betraying my inner self.
    6) I started seeing porn as something disgusting and pathetic.
    7) I understood I am the choices I make.
    Success? Yesterday I made out with the girl that I didn't get to fuck last time. That previous time I was drunk and I was having a semi hard on all the time we made out, asking her to come to my home and all, but she refused because she is a virgin.
    Yesterday I went to her home and made out for 2 hours. At first I got a semi hard on but then nothing, I really enjoyed kissing her, sucking her, fingering her, but I think it was more like it was fun for me to give her pleasure, to see how she reacted to the things I did, but I wasn't turned on. And she looks good, but it's not like she drives me crazy anyways. Luckily she didn't want to have sex because it was our first time.
    So it is a semi success, because I got what I was looking for and I can start to understand myself better. I still can have a boner by sexting with any girl, so I guess maybe if I get in the same mood when having actual sex I might get horny, but it's hard because I am a naughty fucker who loves to say lots of dirty shit and having dirty answers to it, and she is all about moaning. I will try to get serious and into it next time, dropping more of my dirty talk. If it doesn't work I'll just wonder if she doesn't turn me on or what the hell is going on with me. If I like her personality I might tell her about all of this and try different things to see what works. She wants me to be her first, and she was super pleased yesterday, so I have a good thing going on here to discover myself and I consider it a success.
    Conclusion: I think I need to dare to behave in the way that turns me on, and that might simply be the answer to it.
    Note side for whoever wonders: I never think about porn now. I had to check the calendar to know how many days I've been off. I will never go back to porn, that's just not who I am anymore.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2019
  2. free0fight

    free0fight Fapstronaut

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    These past few weeks have been rough.
    Work has been really busy and stressful, and I find porn the way to escape and "relax". I have been edging for days, can't help myself.
    I don't know how to stop.
    It's so frustrating.


     
  3. I'mJustAChoice

    I'mJustAChoice Fapstronaut

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    You need to think about porn, about what you are doing. A deep understanding of porn and PMO will make you disgusted towards it and you will stop. I seriously think it's the only way.
    If you don't despise porn and the action of PMO, I think it is too difficult to quit.
     
    JesusStrength and 220woof671 like this.
  4. I'mJustAChoice

    I'mJustAChoice Fapstronaut

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    Update: Today I went to a park with her and we were 2 hours chatting and making out. I was more into it, and more relaxed, and she didn't want us to go to her house, so It was more exciting, knowing that I couldn't have her even if I wanted to. And my penis felt alive, so I think this might actually work. And also I felt a real connection and I enjoyed her company so much, which is good, because I was starting to think I might have turned into a psycho that can't feel anything for people, especially after abusing weed and having a compilation of bad social experiences that left me with PTSD and had me shaking even when having to talk to cashiers. I got over that with time though, I've made tons of new friends and I am confident again, which was totally necessary for this thing to happen.
    If I finally make it, that means anyone can, seriously.
     
    QuietKarma likes this.
  5. QuietKarma

    QuietKarma Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations brother, glad you're making progress.
     
    I'mJustAChoice likes this.
  6. I'mJustAChoice

    I'mJustAChoice Fapstronaut

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    Final update on main comment.
     
  7. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Congratulations on 138+ no porn!
     

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