Successful reboot: Bad to finally have orgasm with dream girl?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by S_R_B00ZL3S, Nov 18, 2018.

  1. S_R_B00ZL3S

    S_R_B00ZL3S Fapstronaut

    I've been doing really well, about 2 weeks in no MO/ relapse and the benefits so far have been truly phenomenal. I'm a different human being for sure.

    At the moment, my girlfriend and I are in a long distance situation. Madly in love and just at different points right now in careers and things aren't aligning (she travels a lot)....I'm attached to a project in my dream field so we're pursuing what we love while young etc etc.

    When we finally see each other again, short or long-term (depending on travel), if I finally have mind-blowing passionate sex with her and have an orgasm will I suddenly be less-caring and undo everything I've ever done? I mean I will have saved everything for her and want to share a sexual experience 100% in the moment with my partner...

    Just curious some of your thoughts! thanks :)
  2. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

    Depends on your goals. For me, porn was my biggest problem. My girlfriend and I had sex a few times during my initial 90 days. The way I was thinking about it, porn was a perversion of my sexuality, but having sex with my girlfriend was a healthy, loving manifestation of it. I don't think it slowed my recovery down at all.

    Really, though, the correct answer is that it depends on your personal goals. If not having an orgasm for 90 days is a very important goal for you, then having sex with your girlfriend might feel upsetting for you. It's really your call, though.

    Also, just because you're refraining from orgasm with your partner doesn't mean you guys can't be physically intimate with each other. Get creative! If you're not ready to have sex, there's still so much you can do to enjoy each other. Communication is key.
  3. The little lion

    The little lion New Fapstronaut

    I agree with the above post by Ridley.

    There’s plenty of great things about retention by itself however I would argue that those benefits are not what most people are after and can’t be accredited with 90% of the results most people would get from abstaining from PMO. It’s the PM part that is so dangerous (again, not discrediting the beauty of retention on a physiological level at all) because of the toxic mindset involved in achieving your big O. If that is archived through a heathy, intimate, committed, loving relationship I can’t imagine that’s anything anyone on this forum is trying to abstain from. If you are then good for you, Have at it. Its really about what you want out of your reboot.
    ForABetterLife20 and S_R_B00ZL3S like this.
  4. S_R_B00ZL3S

    S_R_B00ZL3S Fapstronaut

    Thank you that helps a lot.....guess it does start with what my goals are.
  5. MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

    Not exactly how it works. Rather u will feel different for about a day and then after that as long as u dont relapse u will start regaining the effects. During nofap and after nofap. Sex with a woman can have its own benefits but it can also have consequences. U will lose that great retention feeling / nofap powers for a few days and u may feel a chaser effect. Like u may want to masturbate or use her pictures etc after she has left or if u feel unsatisfied.

    Now when u have sex u can avoid orgasming but that might be too extreme or high level or unnecessary for u. Alternatively u may want to have sex multiple times. Get the chaser rush out ur system so that when she leaves u wont be compelled to refantasize over what happened or watch porn etc.

    Ur long distance so nudes and skype sex may end up on the table. During ur reboot I highly suggest u avoid these. Its not harmful to everyone but it sends the wrong signals to ur brain and eventually u will mistep. But yeah ldr can be good for nofap cuz it allows u to get huge streak during that time and really work on urself and give u a future goal to aim for @ ur gf.
    ForABetterLife20 likes this.

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