Suffered with loneliness when I was younger not anymore though

Two big factors on why i have been single for so long has been mostly cause of faith when i was younger and financial insecurity as i got older.
Im from a muslim background but have been a silent agnostic since like 2016. pre marital relationships are frowned up and i took that seriously since my family is pretty religious.
When i was younger even though i was really attracted and wanted to date girls i always held back for religious reasons. that honestly played a big role in my porn addiction. i felt like it was better to masturbate and watch porn instead of actually commiting a big sin by being in premarital relationship and having sex. I did have girls that were interested in me especially in my teen years but they were mostly girls i wasn't really attracted too. I had no interest in losing my virginity to a girl i found unattractive.
As I got older like around age 17-19 financial insecurity played a bigger role cause i always was broke. When i did start working i was mostly doing part time stuff while going to school fulltime so my paychecks weren't nice. social media and also my familie's Islamic values have played a big role in my financial insecurity. in the muslim society men are expected to provide and are suppose to be financially stable before they even consider marriage and as a broke college student i really just felt like i wasn't worthy to even enter relationships. social media had me comparing myself to other dudes who more financially stable than me and had me feeling even more broke and worthless

The past 2 years though i have been reflecting over my life a lot and actually i have started to appreciate myself a lot more. i haven't entered the realm of dating simply cause i wanted to focus on myself a lot more. I been working more and have actually gone back to school again. My intertest in entering a relationship has gone down a lot simply cause i realized the main thing i really wanted out of it was mostly just sex. haven't had sex yet but i have no real urge to have it yet. like if im given the opportunity to have sex sure ill take it but I'm not actively going out of my way to hook up with some chick.

 

i don't really suffer with feelings of loneliness anymore. i have friends and family that i communicate with daily. When i was a teen i did suffer with it a lot.