Suffering from Low self esteem and anxiety

So you should take care of your health. Get a blood panel, including hormones, thyroid, etc., to check for underlying conditions.

And also start NoFap. Have you done a no-PMO streak before?

Then start training your body, mind and spirit. Body can be sports, losing weight, lifting, martial arts, and so on. Mind is reading, study, skill-building, language learning, writing, etc. Spirit is art, music, creativity, religion, spirituality, etc.

Also you should develop some social life. This will happen naturally through engagement with your hobbies in-public and with other men. Your hobbies will also introduce you to female acquaintances.

You need to develop confidence in yourself by seeing measurable improvement and by getting enjoyment in overcoming challenges and obstacles. No-PMO makes all of the above way easier because you aren't wasting your vitality in constant ejaculation, feeling self-disgust and leading a double life. I recommend to use the positive momentum from NoFap to initiate all the rest of your growth and improvement.

 

Hey there, you could try reading the book 'No More Mr Nice Guy'. You may not 100% fit the archetype that the book is geared towards but it's a spectrum and I am certain there will be at least some elements that it can help you with, I certainly saw a lot more of myself in there than I expected and it has some great insights into self improvement. It also talks a lot about how childhood shame and fear affect men later in life which you may find scarily accurate in your case.

 

I also saw a lot of myself in that book. Also When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. Both of these are available for free .pdf on B-Ok.Asia website.

 

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Pardon on the site. Thanks

 

@YHH I hear you bro. But there are things that help.

Like mentioned by others; expanding your horizons, going out of your comfort zone. But take small steps. Otherwise you'll jump right into the unknown and you'll just be disappointed or will have negative memories of that moment. Build it up.

But the first thing you need to do is stop the self-pity and blaming others for your problems. I've also suffered abuse from my father, but after all these years, when I was in my twenties I had choices. My decision was to keep being abused because I could have done a ton of different things.

What I'm saying is is that you always have different options. You just need to realize that you can choose. You can choose to not feel self-pity, and take action to make changes in your life. Go see that therapist to get over your traumas. If you still live at home, move out. Stand up to your bullies. You are in essence a free man, to do what you want, whenever you want, to say what you want. Well, just as long you abide the law.

Obviously you're hurt so you've got a path of healing to walk. Pressuring yourself to demand more of yourself only works against you.

Again, you're a free man! No one has power over you. Stop wallowing in self-pity, it stops you dead in your tracks and stops you from taking action in turn causing depression.

Put the good, inspirational stuff you hear in your phone and set it to remind you every day. Or post a post-it on your desk or wherever you're around most of the time. Good luck!