Suggestion: Implementing more general guidelines when looking for AP or offering AP.

Discussion in 'NoFap Technical Support and Feedback' started by UnyieldingAntiHero, Apr 15, 2019.

  1. UnyieldingAntiHero

    UnyieldingAntiHero Fapstronaut

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    I am not suggesting to dictate people what they can write or do however, if people provided basic information about certain things looking for AP would be much easier.

    I think one major thing that should always be included when looking for AP is your timezone.

    It makes a lot of difference if you are only 1 hour away from someone or 12 hours.
    An AP who is nearly always awake when you are asleep and vice-versa will be a lot less effective in preventing immediate relapse.
    Also - how many APs you want 1, 2 more?
    How often a day are you commited to be available?

    Also age, gender, choice of communication (Whatsapp, Telegram, whatever...)
    and non-obligatory job/education (basically whether you are working or in education) relationship status (single, with a boy- or girlfriend or married) and religion.
    ______________________________________________________________
    If things looked like this for example.

    Hello I am male and 24 years old. My timezone is GMT +1 and I am looking for other guys that want to beat PMO together. I am looking for one or two people. My preferred choice of communication would be the apps "kik" or "telegram". I am committed to communicate (at least) once a day and am unavailable on saturdays, in general. However, I will try to respond as soon as possible if you are in trouble.
    [Now to voluntarily] I am a student in college right now and single. I grew up with christian beliefs.
    __________________________________________________________________

    Such a short paragraph would make many, many questions needless and make looking for an AP just that much faster.
    Also, by giving all information, people don't need to ask questions in it and thus, old requests will not be needlessly bumped over new requests.

    Also it would be nice to introduce that the request poster closes an AP search request with "/Closed" or something similiar to indicate that they either, have found an AP or don't want to look for one anymore. This way other people are spared the hassle to needlessly write them and get their hopes up for nothing.

    I know, I know, this all seems overly strict and rigid. And I don't propose that everyone has to write in the exactly in the same style and order however those informations above at least should be included as those are the basic of the basic informations needed for people to make a decision.

    Someone just writing "hey, looking for AP write me." Is nice and all but not really useful for making any meaningful decision.

    APs are people you commit to, people you want to trust and forge a certain bond with. You need at least some information about them to make a decision.

    Also, why do age and gender matter you ask?

    Age does matter because some people simply want AP's in theirn own age group.
    Take me for example. I have complete understanding if a 16 year old or over 30 year old, married person don't see an ideal AP in me, as we are in different stages of life.

    This doesn't mean that those people can't become APs for each other, but it is basic courtesy to at least provide this information in order to allow a person to make this decision.

    Why does gender matter?
    For a lot of reasons. There may be addicts that are triggered by the very thought of writing/communicating with someone of the other sex. There may be people with sexist or harmful views or people that are simply uncomfortable with communicating with the other sex while they are deep down the rabbit hole of addiction.

    Realistically speaking men can, of course pose as women and women can pose as men if they want to, nobody can really control that, but I, at least want a basic honesty in my APs.
    If someone doesn't want a male or female AP because they have conditioned themselves to be aroused by cybersex or sexting and in general feel uncomfortable to write with someone their have conditioned themselves to sexually objectify, then I think this is a completely valid reason.


    Now, what if someone simply does not want to disclose a lot or even any information about themselves and just write with each other?

    That of course is valid to. To some degree, nofap is prospering exactly because it's an anonymous website where you don't have to expose your real identity. It is your right to retain that information on any level.

    However, in practice, people looking for other people they can commit to and trust, want some level of information about them.
    An 18 year old girl using this website probably doesn't want to find out 3 months in that her AP is a 50 year old guy with a teenage girl fetish. The 50 year old dude would probably be unhappy too, if he found his AP was a girl he used to succumb to.

    If you are looking for a non-disclosure AP, someone you don't share information with but just want for the most basic level of anonymous writing you should at least indicate this in your AP request post. Because again, on average people want to know the gender of their AP or how old they are, exactly for their reasons stated above.

    Just put a simply "looking for an anonmyous AP" or "looking for non-disclosure AP" when putting in request. You save yourself, and others a lot of time with that.

    ___________________________________________________________________

    I would love to get some input on this, especially from moderators.
    I think that AP is a tool here that could potentially become even more powerful. a lot of more people could use it and probably would use it if they had a more clear idea of who they are dealing with.
     
  2. UnyieldingAntiHero

    UnyieldingAntiHero Fapstronaut

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    Also, would it be viable to only give people posting-rights here after clicking the like-button on the rules-post that is already written in the moderation section above the AP requests?
     
  3. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    UnyieldingAntiHero likes this.
  4. UnyieldingAntiHero

    UnyieldingAntiHero Fapstronaut

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  5. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    Fair enough. But considering almost no one follows the existing guidelines, what is the point in adding more? :confused:

    Furthermore, I cannot see how you can 'encourage' members to implement the ones that are already there. Just my 2p. ;)
     
    UnyieldingAntiHero likes this.

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