Suicidal and HOCD

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by TreyBall, Oct 23, 2019.

  1. 1ANDDONE

    1ANDDONE Fapstronaut

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    One of the most difficult jedi tricks a porn addict must learn is that porn is just a button, and it is not what we are addicted to. The addiction is to the dopamine and endogenous opioid release, that happens, in the brain, in response to the hypersexual thoughts that porn can be used--used, like a tool--to generate. That is all porn is for humans, a tool we can use to get high. That neurological brain reaction/reward has to do with liking, wanting, seeking, and getting. It is nature's way of encouraging reproduction. But, we are clever monkeys, and we have figured out a LOT of ways to jack that neurological reward system, porn being one way, gambling another, drugs, another.

    With porn--and I do not care about orientation--a lot of people start out at vanilla, and end up at gender bender. That is a process that takes a second, as in, often. years, where they go from the porn they think represents who they are or want to be, but ends up at something out there, shocking, and where they no longer see what they consider their "normal" sexuality. Let's be honest, the pornographers know this, which is why vanilla porn is hardly ever produced.

    That process of "migrating through the categories" is, as you have identified, to do with sensitization, desensitization, and escalation. We get a dopamine high only so long on one category, until the brain numbs to it (desensitizes to it), and then we have to move on to something novel, never before seen, to get the hit we used to get from what we watched (PMO'd to) before. It take a while, but many desensitize to porn that is their natural orientation, and start watching porn outside their orientation--because only that type of porn will get them the dopamine spike they want.

    I want you to understand this because I want you to know how you got to where you are. It's fucked up, but you are not alone.

    Also, Trey, anyone who has lived to 20 thinks of suicide. Maybe not much, or seriously, but we all do. Don't do it. Your parents don't want to hire carpet cleaners. Insert smiley face emodicon.

    As for HOCD, not sure it is a concept I believe in. It is a product of High Speed Internet Porn, watching porn, and sensitizing, desensitizing, escalating, over time. A lot of people get to gender bender porn if they watch it long enough, because what they start at, won't do it forever, and they have to escalate to keep getting their dopamine high. What I am telling you is: Don't panic, and it can be fixed. Don't know what your sexual orientation or taste is, don't care, but do not confuse the tool you use to achieve a dopamine high with your sexual preferences: One has nothing to do with the other.

    Hope this helps.

    Much love. Gabe Deem shout out.

    WilliamOneAndDone
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2019
  2. Enwar

    Enwar Fapstronaut

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    That sounds good (although it might be illegal). It sounds like you have enough experience to get a more stable job right now. Perhaps you should try that. Also, it's hard to get back into college once you've left, but you need to get back on track there. You might need to get into a skilled trade, of which there are many. These things can't be neglected, although quitting porn needs to be your focus.
     
  3. TreyBall

    TreyBall Fapstronaut

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    I never left college, I still attend the university I was going to play at as a student, but since I quit the team I lost my full ride scholarship. My whole freshmen year is free though, I was on the team long enough for it to be able to cover my first year, but since I quit, I will start having to pay tuition next year. Which is why I need to get back on the team. And yes porn has to be thrown out the window ASAP!

    Thanks for the reply
     
  4. Enwar

    Enwar Fapstronaut

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    Oh, I thought that you had dropped out. It's better than I thought. Just keep going, bro.
     
  5. Trolimp2xm

    Trolimp2xm Fapstronaut

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    @TreyBall I've just read this entire forum and I'm super duper glad that I've ended up here while cruising around here looking for a story similar to mines and I've came across yours. We have very very similar life story....when you see this message please do hit me up brother. We have a lot in common and I'm sure we can help and motivate each other by telling each other about literally anything. I already consider you a best friend. I have so much to tell you and yes, you are not alone. You'll be shocked to hear there's someone out there just like you. Also, you'd be very suprised when I tell you about my age but let's save for that. Send me a dm Trey. I really feel like we would be great accountability partners not to mention great friends.
     
  6. TreyBall

    TreyBall Fapstronaut

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    I sent you a DM, and happy to see somebody in a similar situation.
     

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