Sunbathing women

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by tomandjerry, Jul 14, 2018.

  1. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

    Recently one sunny day stumbled across a girl sunbathing in a park in gorgeous bikini. I went up to her and asked if i could sit next to her. She was quite upset. I then noticed other girls doing the same and also went up to them. I even took a discreet photo and offered to rub sunlotion. Since last week i have been fantasising about girls sunbathing and searching pictures of park and beach sunbathing. I have also read into forums aboit topless bathing.

    I realise my voyeueistic behaviour leads to pmo afterwards. I feel like i am treating the girls in a zoo like manner. I wiah to stop and also hopefully one day i can get my own girlfriend and be nwxt to her sunbathing. At the moment i am not achieving anything. Any suggestions?
    STAR DUST likes this.
  2. OnceAfraidToMerge

    OnceAfraidToMerge Fapstronaut

    Well, you definitely posted in the right forum, this is problematic behaviour for sure!

    It's fine to enjoy the sight of a woman sunbathing, but there are certain things in here which are crossing a line in a big way. Approaching a stranger and asking if you can sit with them, discreet photographs, offering to rub sun lotion on them; these behaviours are going to frighten people away from you and get you slapped with the creep label pretty quick.

    Question your own motives whenever you feel a compulsion to do something. If you want to do it simply for your own gratification, then maybe imagine what you would think of another person if you observed them doing the same thing; perhaps that will help to give you some perspective.
    Bhara, u376, kropo82 and 6 others like this.
  3. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Wow that's ballsy.
    Brooklyn Jerry69 likes this.
  4. :emoji_astonished: Well, of course, she would be upset. But I can relate since I was into voyeurism. Try not to go to places where women sunbath for now. Also maybe don't take your phone out with you if you can. Stay away from those forums because they're making you desire voyeurism even more. Maybe you should consider this kind of behaviour as a relapse. I'd say this is worse than porn because your taking what you're seeing online and doing it in real life. This behaviour is really serious and could even get you arrested in a number of countries. I almost got into legal trouble because of it and let me assure you it was terrifying when it happened.
    kropo82 and Headspace like this.
  5. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

    Can feel the 'high'. Yes maybe i should avoid such places..
    Yes if another man went to a park, just for the girls, it would be strange....
  6. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    How does one manage to take a discrete photo then segway into asking if they would like you to rub lotion on their back?
    Hitto, Deleted Account and Nomar like this.
  7. Rehab101

    Rehab101 Fapstronaut

    Maybe u should just try having small talks with them. Totally fine of you just try to talk to em. U r a guy after all.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. I agree. Just normal conversations.
  9. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

    I disagree with the people who say talk to them. Remember women are 100% in guard cuz men can and are often creeps. So don’t contribute to that. If they are minding their own business sunbathing in a bikini it’s a bit weird to go up to them interrupt that and asking to rub lotion on them.

    I’ve studied internet marketing for a long time and one analogy that was perfect and applies here as well is making sure the online potential customer is being talked to in the correct order. The analogy is you don’t walk up to a girl in the bar and ask her to marry you. There’s many micro conversations that have to happen first before you go after that macro question of marriage. And if you jump the gun, the person is scared and confused, and online leaves, and in real life also leave :).

    No with your story, I would say you missed a bunch of micro conversations and jumped straight to a macro question, be fore you received any micro yeses from them.

    For example I would say asking to put lotion on is a question that happens on a date if you guys are doing something beach/pool related, maybe even a second date depending on how well the micro yeses went on date 1. Definitely not a question for the first interaction!!!

    My advice is to stop doing what your doing. If you’re a sex addict like me it can lead to more and more risky things (that you might have even already done). And it is further putting women in an insecure frightened space.

    If you can’t stop on your own, this means you’re a sex addict and need help. I got help 110 days ago and have been sober since.

    Lmk if there’s anything I can do to help you, and I hope you come to terms with this behavior as negative and harmful to you and most importantly the women you are taking with.

    Edit: I would say very few guys would even have the perfect first line to say to a strange women laying down in a bikini and not frighten her. This alone is a skill and I imagine only a few could. And even if you had the perfect line (followed by many perfect lines after), not many girls would be receptive in that situation, so it’s a pickup line mine field...I wouldn’t recommend saying anything.

    Also depending on your state, taking photos of strangers can be illegal. Just FYI.
    SpiritVessel, Hitto, seaguy44 and 4 others like this.
  10. I think if you're not genuine the other person can tell.

    Like if some guy on a dark alley wanted to kidnap you or steal your money you might be able to pick that up as opposed to if he actually lives around and came out for a walk because he cannot sleep and is looking to have a nice conversation with you :)

    Both mentioned examples are complete strangers that looking to get quite close and involved with you but in real life the differences between them would be like night and day. Not to mentioned the first deserves some prison even if he fails to do anything and the intention is not acceptable, alright, okay, admissable in any way whatsoever, just a big no no. Just like you wanting to sit next to a female citizenship because you're horny.
  11. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

    Ok so went to the same spot today. Again there were a few girls sunbathing. Some in hotpants, and one in a nice bikini. I spoke to them. The one in hotpants and bra made some small talk with me. The one in a bikini showed very little interest. I think I will stay away from this behaviour. I will instead try to talk to women in more social settings. Sunbathing is an individual activity.
    MasterRoshi likes this.
  12. It’s ok if you don’t do it creepy. If you are a Sympathie guy it’s nice to be talked at. If you are a creep not so
  13. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

    I was wondering about the "date idea" of going sunbathing together with a girl. how does that sound. I am not going to fantasise and fap over the girls I saw. I will keep my semen for a girl I like.... I am going to halt the "dopamine rush" from sunbathing. Have any of you guys gone sunbathing with the gf/wife? Its something I would really look forward to....
  14. ak47_uk

    ak47_uk Fapstronaut

    I would risk it after all there will be fit babes in hardly any clothes so your mind may be fooling you by using a partner etc. If you are not going to be looking at other women then I would say yes but I dont think thats the case do u?
  15. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

    No im genuinely doing as a date idea
  16. seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    I have a pool at my apartment. I see girls wearing bikini all the time. I know I can't sit next to them because I am a man and it might scare her off so I always sit away from girls. Girls are comfortable with sitting near other girls but not us just because we are men.

    What I can do is just do my business and some times the girls ask me to watch their things while they go to the restroom. That's how I know I can start a small talk with them.

    If the pool is full with people and one empty chair is next to a girl. I sit anyway next to her even if she may not like it.

    If the pool is full of men, then I can sit anywhere I want.

    Always be careful around girls ESPECIALLY if you are the only man!!!!
  17. tomandjerry

    tomandjerry Fapstronaut

    Thanks for your opinion. I will ensure that i dont scare off the girls....
    I am going to also stop searching sunbathing related topics.
    Bubbles likes this.
  18. seaguy44

    seaguy44 Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    I even don't point my phone at girls. I make sure my phone is DOWN.

    I remember one time. I was the only man and there were girls around and they got up and left the pool. I was surprised. Huge wake up experience

    STAR DUST Fapstronaut

    Start sun bathing then ask someone out
  20. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

    Nothing wrong with appreciating the form of women. but taking pictures and then nutting is problematic. C E A S E
    Hitto likes this.

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