Surprised Myself Today

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Tengu, Jan 14, 2021.

  1. Tengu

    Tengu Fapstronaut

    Today was an unorganized day. I woke up late, didn’t have much I wanted to do. The least I did was try to motivate myself with some nofap content on YouTube. Instead I was left being reminded about how hard nofap is and that thought tends to demotivate me. What surprised me today was when I got ready to hop in the shower (all I had to do was step into it), I paused and decided to PMO instead in my bedroom. I must say, I never really feel motivated or purposeful about nofap. I just keep making a promise I can’t keep. I’m not giving up though. I just wonder what it’s gonna take for me to take this seriously. I know how I feel about P, but it’s just not enough. Any tips?
    blacklabel92 and safa61947 like this.
  2. safa61947

    safa61947 Fapstronaut

    In moments like this, I find it importante to give place to a bigger pause and ask yourself: what did I learn from this relapse?

    Probably when you entered the shower you already had relapsed in your mind. Only you know details. Try to extract a lesson from this, and if you find the lesson is just "try harder", then by all means, brush the dust and start over.

    We all relapsed many times, even after making a firm commitment, so it's okay really.
    blacklabel92 and Tengu like this.
  3. Tengu

    Tengu Fapstronaut

    I appreciate your reply. A bigger pause is definitely what I need in times like those. It’s hard to brush off a relapse, especially with how I feel afterwards. Sometimes sexual thoughts linger after a relapse which makes my mind feel hazy but I recognize that even that is temporary. Thank you.
    blacklabel92 likes this.
  4. onwards_upwards_1

    onwards_upwards_1 Fapstronaut

    I always found with my addictions that it was impossible to quit without being mentally ready. Like smoking for example. Stopping was so hard, but then one day I was just ready. Unfortunately, after about half a year, I started again, and then it took me about 3 years until I reached that readiness to just say 'I REALLY don't want this anymore' and stopped again. I was the same with porn. Tried nofap many times but my best streaks have come either when I feel really 'ready' to leave porn behind (which is where I'm at currently), or in one particular case, when I had some serious motivation (couldn't get hard with someone I'd been pursuing for a long time. It made things weird between us and the relationship never went anywhere).

    With that said, I actually wouldn't recommend waiting around to feel ready. If not now when? You know porn is doing you know good. Perhaps use things like the prospect of not being able to get aroused in real life situations as motivation. You may not be at that point now, but the further you go into a porn addiction the more dissociated you'll become from real-life arousal queues and like so many people on here you could suddenly find yourself in a position where sex with an actual person becomes something you just can't do. Think about that in those moments.

    Good luck
    blacklabel92 and TheForsakeen like this.
  5. blacklabel92

    blacklabel92 Fapstronaut


    no way around having off days. i feel like every person on earth has em. you just gotta go through em i guess. idk were it comes from but i do know the more we endure, the easier it gets. promises are a funny thing, we promise things to god knowing damn well we won't keep it. the intention behind the promising is probably true but the promise itself is more than likely a house built on quicksand.

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