Swallowing The Bitter Pill

I’m not rich. I’m not great looking. I’m not overwhelming in confidence. I’m not free. I’m still living in my parents' house. I don’t have many friends. I don’t have a girlfriend whom I can share intimate moments with. I don’t have many people that care about me. This... is my current life.

I’m not rich. Even I have a new car (provided by my parents), even I have a good place to stay in (a mini-mansion as I call it and almost all the things that I wish is in here), even I have graduated in a prestigious University. Even if I have the means to go to places. Even I can eat the food that I want for my nutrition. These things don’t provide me richness in life and fulfillment. Though these things provide me comfort and leisure, I still long for something that would provide enrichment in my life.

I’m not great looking. I can say that I am better looking than average. And I have spare time to exercise and focus on my nutrition. However, due to the current problems that I am facing and the ongoing transition toward a healthier life, I don’t feel much energetic and happy, which greatly affects my vibrance and resilience that affects my physical appearance.

I’m not free. I still live at my parents' house. I still depend on them for my well being. And as payback, I do things for them, small errands and short requests.

I don’t have many people to share what I really feel in the inside. I don’t have people to care for me when I am really down and sad. Some of my friends laughed at me after sharing this forum with them. That made me feel that I don’t have the same sexual values with them and this made me want to find friends that would be walking the same path as me. I also want to have a romantic relationship, but I want to learn more about myself and be free from this addiction so I may fully share myself and not just use a woman for gratifying my fantasies.

All of these things... I accept.
There are no shortcuts in living a fulfilling life. As I continue rebuilding my life no matter how slow and no matter how big the obstacles are. I must swallow the bitter truth to the consequences that I have made in the past. And retain focus in the present, as the now that we are in is all I have.

I made this thread to share the bitter truths that I am facing. And for those people who want to face the truth in their lives. Feel free to share them here. Let’s support each other in having a fulfilling life.

 

No. But it provided me a way to ground myself. To accept reality and to rebuild what I have lost. Back then I was a great kid, now, I am just a normal person or even lower in terms of confidence, financial status, physical appearance. This post was a way for me to release my feelings. It was a way to face my reality now and make plans on how to have the life that I want instead of running away from the bad emotions and negative self-talk.