Swollen left leg after 12 hour edging binge?

It's difficult to explain.

 

@vercent99 , after more thought I remembered another factor in the 12 hour binges. So as I mentioned earlier, after a while the edging becomes torture instead of pleasure. I start getting bored with all the porn, and I start getting pinched nerves and sore muscles from sitting so long (and a swollen left leg too). I realize that I have a tiger by the tail and it is going to be very costly to either ejaculate or simply stop edging. Either way I'm going to be in bad shape for a day.

So why do I keep sitting there when it's torture? Two reasons:
(1) I tell myself that I should at least try to get what I came for before stopping and paying the price for ending the session. What's another 15 minutes when I've already invested 3 hours? And it always feels like that ultimate plateau of edging bliss is just around the corner. Unfortunately, it actually gets more difficult to enjoy the experience as time goes on and I get more physically and mentally exhausted.
(2) Later I begin to realize that I'm not going to reach any new highs, and it becomes as though I am outside my body observing my dilemma and unable to see a solution. I'm no longer watching porn - I am watching myself watch porn and I have essentially given up any pretense of being in control.

Partly, I'm hoping that if I can write down and understand what happens that I might not let it happen any more. There is that crucial moment when I convince myself that I'm only going to edge for a little while. The best and maybe the only way to stop these torture sessions is to never start them. My addiction and lack of control seems so ridiculous that I still haven't fully accepted the truth of the them.

 

Not disagreeing with you, but maybe part of the solution is realize that I am not better than the addiction? The addiction wins easily almost every time I foolishly start a fight with it. The best way to fight the addiction is to realize that it's better than me. I need to walk carefully around the addiction keeping my distance as much as possible. This is essentially how I treat my alcohol problem. I know I can't beat the alcohol addiction, but I can hope to remember that I am addicted and keep my distance and be thankful for every day without it.