Take Two...

Hi.

This is my second real attempt at NoFap. What originally got me going was my college roommate. He told me about NoFap and I was fresh off of blowing it with a girl that I'd liked throughout college. It was easy to see where Porn and masturbation had effected me and so I committed to the challenge with him. I was't able to string together anything longer than 20 days until I graduated college and started working back home. My last real effort ended about a year ago after going hard mode for around 200 days(I started on Valentines Day, 2014). I'm in the Marine Corps and was going through a stressful time competing for selection into the job I wanted, and lost sight of. I've used porn or masturbated pretty damn close to daily since then and I'm seeing how negatively it's effecting me.

I was lucky in that I did not start watching porn until I was 17 (I'm 24 now), but I have more than made up for lost time. What is bringing me back to NoFap, and pushing me to go further: signing up for an account, and posting like I promised myself I would never be one of "those guys", is remembering what I felt like during the ~200 day streak.

Naturally, I'm an outgoing and pretty confident guy, and even with porn, I act that way. Behind closed doors, the insecurities and self-doubt/hatred start creeping in. I remember how free I felt before, when I was at home, waiting for orders and living with my parents, and it's gone now. On paper, I should be one of those guys who "made it". I'm single, I have very little debt, and I have a job that I've worked to get for about five years now. I should have no issues with meeting women and seeking a healthy relationship with them.

However, I'm back to allowing normal emotions to control my behavior and I look at women in the same way that I did when I was a douchebag in college, and, honestly I can't remember the last time I was interested in a woman for her personality. This passive "oh poor me" mentality effects my work, my productivity in and out of the office, and it's a weakness that needs to die.

So, I signed up for the website and wrote this post. I know that NoFap isn't going to give me all the answers to figuring this whole "life" thing out, but goddamit, I'm going to fight to be the man I'm killing every time I open the private browser.

You guys are awesome, and you all inspire me. Here goes Day 1.