TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

Alright so I realized something this past weekend. Well actually a couple of things but we are going to stay on topic today hahaha. I cant fucking play this game anymore. You know the one where you build this really good streak all for it to get crushed and you end up back in the cycle of relapsing every 3 or 4th day. I never realized how deep I had dug my hole until saturday when I watched this video. Trust me if you are in this position I urge you to watch this because these next 10 minutes could change your life forever.



Holy fuck where have I been living the past 7 years? Yea if you just asked yourself that after watching that video thats exactly what I said. All these years that I have been "trying" to beat this addiction was a false mentality. In order for me to really be able to do what it takes I needed to take ownership and responsibility. Yes there have been people who have hurt me in my life. But it was me who gave into their lies. I was the one who let those thoughts of "Oh Im not worth it" or "Im never going to be happy" or "Im never going to have the body like Dwanye Johnson" affect me. I am the one who decided that the only way to cure my fucking depression was through eating, and watching porn. I was the one who decided that because I wasn't worth it I am just going to stop caring about school and go from having a 4.0 gpa my sophomore year of hs to graduating with a fucking 2.5. I needed to take full responsibility for my actions because again it was me who decided that porn was okay.

Let me say this ladies and gents. Yes I am only on day 3 but holy shit do I have such a clear mindset now. I really had to dig down deep and look at myself in the mirror. For some of you it may take longer and that is perfectly fine but take responsibility for your actions.