Talking to girls in reboot

From personal experience I would recommend you that don't. Every time I've done this it's resulted in a relapse, so I'd recommend just staying away from actively seeking out girls until at least 90 days.

Also you can't figure out what your true intentions are so early in reboot - for example I was talking to girls who I thought I liked, but after I relapsed I was just talking to them bc I was horny... And I didn't really see them as a long term partner (didn't get on personality wise).

Of course though if a girl speaks to you or it happens naturally then that's different - like I'm not saying you should ignore girls... But just don't go out of your way to be chatting to girls during reboot because you're just playing with fire.

 

Depends, if you're abstaining from Orgasms as well as PM I wouldn't go out of your way to do it, but if it's a "normal mode" reboot where you are allowed to orgasm I don't really see the problem. I am currently seeing a girl and having sex.

I'm also involuntary stay away from orgasms since I don't always get there during sex

But as I said depends on what you're aiming for.

 

Of course, talk to them, try to see they are persons too, not just pretty bodies. Even if you flirt, that's an important communicative skill too. All of that things are the opposite of what you see in the pornographic movies.

Addiction (of any type) is a disease of isolation. Whatever makes you connect with others, will help you.

 

I don't know about that - I can see @LilD's point but still stand by what I said above & say it's playing with fire.

Like I say, at the beginning of reboot it's hard to tell what your real intentions are... You might *feel* like you really like a girl, but it's hard to tell whether you're just horny and want to use chatting to her as an escape. All I know is that chatting to girls early on in reboot has led to my own personal relapses, so like I say from experience I'd avoid it - early on at least. Heck what's 2-3 month without actively seeking out and chatting to girls? It's not really that long, and then at the end of it you will know much more about your true intentions & you'll likely find that it will work out much better with the girls that you do talk to.

 

This may come off a bit sappy.... But I am finding talking to women really rewarding. I mean we spend so many years focusing on just the sexual side and not in a healthy way, and then when sober just talking can be fun!

I try to talk to anyone if I have a reason to. I can now view interactions more for their purpose rather than a means to court someone. This is liberating, as when I do talk to an attractive girl I am more relaxed as my goal is to discuss the topic at hand rather than mind-trick or flirt to get her number.

I may have jumped the gun though... You did say just talking to attractive women and not flirting. You should definitely be social with positive people in this reboot.

Be warned though some attractive girls have their defence walls up and I would suggest talking to those with a good vibe above looks to start with.

TLDR, Talk to anyone you like, but don't overly focus on flirting, at least at first.

 

Stimulation? No, I literally mean talking to girls, not stimulating your penis.

 

Why you do not try to find the girl of your life. My girlfriend was always one of my motivations to fight against my problem. I did not tell her but I can not look at her eyes knowing that I have this problem.

 

Absolutely...even looking at any girl or feminine man will cause you to relapse, thats why a lot of Nofappers go monk mode enduring long fast and meditation periods completely removed from society.
But really its probably good to try and talk to attractive girls if you can mentally take sex off the table and just see them as people

 

He is just joking with the first bit haha

 

I agree avoid for the reboot women who you find attractive as much as possible speaking to them as it trigger’s sexual thought’s early in the reboot. I’m trying to avoid women I find attractive as well as social media as that trigger’s me a lot with all the women on there.

Sorry if I overshare new to this guy’s.

 

Sorry it was sarcasm/dry-humor, but year first part was intended as a joke.

This is my recommendation:

 

See this is where i disagree, attractive women are everywhere you gotta learn to accept and be comfortable with it. In an uncomfortable situation sometimes it is best to focus mentality 100% on understanding the specific source of discomfort and how it makes you feel, and you mind will often then compensate to avoid that feeling again.
Not saying you should go to a strip club or cut down on social media that using sex as a focal point, but dont run when a trigger pops up nearby.