Talking with a parent - Rebooting/success story

Hello fellow fapstronauts;

Yesterday held one of the greatest moments of my life.
I had been wanting to discuss my addiction to pornography with my mom since my last relapse, and last night I finally did (after 5 minutes of me awkwardly laughing). I wanted to bring up the subject numerous times throughout the day, but I neglected to. It took a lot of courage and willpower to finally spit it out but after I did I felt absolutely wonderful. Subconsciously knowing that this would be false, I had imagined in my head that my mom was going to look at me in shock when I told her that I was watching too much porn. This was almost the opposite of what she reacted with, because although she didn't know I was watching porn, she played it cool by simply listening and we started to further our discussion. I told her how my addiction was harming me and why I wanted to stop. I told her that I had been watching for 4 years. To me, she seemed rather uninformed about the dangers of porn addiction, or porn in general. I explained how it made me feel after I PMOed, the feeling of guilt, other emotional effects, and the fact that I've been trying to quit for more or less a year. She actually offered to buy me a playboy magazine (the ones you can buy at a gas station with the cardboard cover) because it would force me to be more imaginative with my sexual outlet (being 16) instead of simply watching others through a computer screen. I declined the offer because I think it might lead me back to internet pornography, and I want to be done with my addiction once and for all. Later on she told me about how a friend of ours was addicted to porn when the internet first came out, and that made me feel better knowing that I share this problem with others I know.

I told myself that if I opened up about my addiction and shared it with someone close to me (my mother), there will be no turning back on this issue. She is willing to offer anything that will help me destroy my addiction, and I am going to use this resource to liberate myself from the misery of pornography. She is going to try to quit smoking (tobacco) on her birthday which is about a month from now, and I will try and help her overcome her addiction as well. I think knowing that we are both fighting an addiction will help us out. After our talk I felt as joyful as I did when I had my first kiss, something almost indescribable. It has given me lots of positive energy that I haven't felt in a long time. I was able to fall asleep within 15 minutes of getting into bed, which is an extremely rare occasion. I will continue to take small one-day steps in hopes of strengthening my mind.

I hope reading this story helps my fellow fapstronauts out there who are fighting the same battle. We are strong and capable of destroying our addictions. If you know someone who could benefit from reading this, feel free to show them.

Goodbye for now,
Myles

 

Thanks for the support. It really helps. And if you're going to open up about your addiction, it's not as bad as you think it might be