Teen struggling with sissy hypno porn, suicidal thoughts, need help badly

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by samir pasa, Jul 1, 2017.

  1. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

    20
    5
    3
    Greetings everyone, I'm currently 19 years old teen who wants to get rid of PMO once and for all, but that's not so easy for me. In fact, my problems are getting more stronger with suicidal thoughts, and also I'm questioning my own sexuality. So here's my problems, also sorry for my bad grammar, since English isn't my first language.

    I'm addicted to porn since I was 12 years old, started masturbating at that age, and from then I kept doing it, but I didn't knew back then that porn could be so much harmful to human life. After some years until recently, normal porn became boring to me and I stopped getting aroused by normal sexual images, which could turn me on before. But now I'm into great trouble. Recently I've just discovered sissy hypno porn, where transsexual and feminization turned me on and I instantly got way too much horny. I fantasised about being a girl and [getting fucked by black dudes](/nsfw) , also other various types of porn where I masturbated to [sucking black dicks](/nsfw) . 4chan and some sub-reddits where sissy hypno and other various types of transsexual feminization and sissy stuffs where posted. And I'm attracted to [dicks](/nsfw) . I fantasise about [sucking cocks and getting fucked as a girl](/nsfw) , which I don't want to. Before watching these stuffs on 4chan and various other sites I was a normal guy who liked girls ( I still do), but now I randomly get turned on by these transsexual thoughts. I don't want to become a homosexual or transsexual or bi sexual person. Also no I'm not a homophobic person.


    Is there anyone who suffered conditions like these? I can't even work or study in my life due to these thoughts. I want to get out of this.

    I'm born straight and I forever want to stay a straight guy, I love girls, I still love my high school crush, and I not attracted to men. But after watching those types of porn like sissy hypno where it fucks up your mind, I can't go on anymore. Now I question my own sexuality.

    Am I straight? Or am I transsexual person? I can't understand or help my mind to decide. I just want to become normal again. But I fear and think that I can never return back to my normal self, since I can't even think myself as a man. I can't even go to a professional someone who can help me, from where I live, also my will know, since then I can not ask for help other than this subreddit. I discovered NoFap a long time ago and always wanted to get rid of PMO, but many times I failed, relapsed and so on.

    I want to get rid of these sissy hypno types of porn forever and never come back to any type of porn. What should I do? Is there any sissy hypno reversal video that can fix me? I tried some but they didn't work, instead I doubt they made my urges worse. How can I stop harming my self and fix my brain? I never wanted to be like this, but after watching these sissy hypno porn and other disgusting porn videos, sexual urges hit me from time to time and then I get aroused and end up relapsing again. I fear that these thoughts will become worse in the future if I don't stop now.

    How do I stop this and get out of sissy stuff and become a normal guy again? Will these sexual tendencies stay with me forever? Or is there's a way to get rid of these things? I am becoming more and more depressed. I just want to become normal again, and have a wife and kids.

    Also last question, am I gay/bi/trans? Because I don't feel attracted to men but after watching those types of porn I am attracted to [dicks](/nsfw) so I can't decide what am I. It's the worst moment of my life, I want to get out of this. I still like girls, I'm shy whenever I'm near a beautiful girl, it's just that I'm not having [sex](/nsfw) with them. Or is it that I was bi/gay/transsexual from the moment I was born? Or is it porn that caused this? I need help badly. I'm lost.

    Lastly thanks to everyone who is read this. Please help me with something if you can, cause I don't want to live this way of life anymore. NoFap is my last chance of saving myself from this. I beg you to help me with something
     
    jacky777 and onmyway like this.
  2. Kenzi, ensour11 and samir pasa like this.
  3. ensour11

    ensour11 Fapstronaut

    Hey there!

    First off I have to say STOP WATCHING THOSE VIDEOS IMMEDIATELY.

    Those videos are actually professionally produced and designed to increase dependency and confuse the user about their sexuality.

    I dont think you're gay/bi. The sissy porn is just a fetish you've developed after trying to find increasingly stronger porn.

    You are not alone when it comes to the Sissy Porn. A lot of men of all ages have become entangled with this new, unexpected type of pornography. Just please stop watching it.

    You are not alone.
     
  4. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

    20
    5
    3
    Thanks very much IGY, i needed someone's help badly, but how to i stop the effects of sissy hypno?
     
  5. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

    20
    5
    3
    thanks ensour11 bro, also please tell me a way way to how to reverse these hypnotize effects?
     
  6. ensour11

    ensour11 Fapstronaut

  7. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

    20
    5
    3
    It days that it'll remain in my consciousness, which makes me afraid, since I want to get rid of these completely. And what about the video on YouTube that I watched like this : and this : or this: since I watched these I got confused if they cured me or made my problem worse, what do you think? Did these YouTube hypno videos made me more homosexual/transsexual?
     
  8. @samir pasa hello, quit porn, make that your goal, man it will help you alot cutting porn totally.
    One more thing: please dont go so visual and graphic writing in here. You've much triggers in your post. Check rules/guide on how to put spoiler alert. Thanks.
     
    samir pasa likes this.
  9. @samir pasa
    Hey bro read about your story. Don't worry, you'll be fine :)
    First things first, whichever browser you use, go and find a porn blocker online for it right now. PCM extension is great for Chrome and uc browser. Firefox has one too, I'll let you know which one.
    Secondly, one thing that I know about hypnotism is that it is based on how susceptible you are to it internally. What I mean is the more you believe that you'll be hypnotized, the more powerful and effective it gets. If you think it's bullshit, then it won't harm you. So this kind of porn won't ruin you. Install porn blockers, or delete the browser. For the first few weeks, take the drastic steps. You'll feel comfortable with being uncomfortable.
    It's great you came here, it's time you took control of your life :)
     
    samir pasa and RickNeedsHelp like this.
  10. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

    348
    549
    93
    Time is a healer. The thing with neuroplasticity is that "neurones that fire together wire together, neurones that fire apart wire apart". You can't ignore these thoughts because they will be there - the whole pink elephant analogy comes into play (just try to not think of a pink elephant with yellow spots). The videos won't have made you "more" gay but they will make the anxiety surrounding it worse. It sounds like you have developed (or are developing) HOCD which can be crippling if left unchecked.

    http://centerforanxietydisorders.com/treatment-programs/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/hocd/

    I didn't watch those videos but my advice is don't watch videos like these. Besides stopping porn there are four steps to dealing with these thoughts: you have to relabel the thought as OCD then reattribute it - "this isn't me it's my OCD". Then refocus - try to do something enjoyable for fifteen minutes. This is basically to stop you doing the compulsions that often go with OCD thoughts (this could be checking rituals - stuff like watching porn, looking at pictures to "test" that you're straight or looking for evidence that you're straight). The compulsions alleviate the anxiety temporarily but perpetuate the OCD process. Final step is reattribute - not letting the OCD thought rule your life.

    These steps come from a book called "Brain Lock" which I'd highly recommend.

    So in summary, you have to remove the anxiety around the thoughts. Once that's gone, the OCD doesn't have a hold on you anymore and they will pretty much just disappear.
     
    samir pasa and RickNeedsHelp like this.
  11. RickNeedsHelp

    RickNeedsHelp Fapstronaut

    11
    6
    3
    Even I'm suffering from the exact same problem. The thing that confuses me about sissy Hypno is that it neither turned me into a gay nor it let me stay straight. I also have suicidal tendencies whenever I look at the mirror and hope to find help but being in India, such things aren't accepted. I feel trapped. I've been into porn straight from puberty and those normal sexual images didn't turn me on. I actually have a thing for feet but I'm okay with it seeing that it's very common but whenever anything about being a sissy pops up in mind or if I fancy sucking cocks or being fucked by black men again wants me to kill myself. I literally have no interest in men but due to this weird fetish that I've somehow trapped myself into, I feel like I am gay which even I know that I'm not. Both of us are fighting from ourselves more than others.
     
    samir pasa likes this.
  12. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

    449
    512
    93
    What in gods name is" hypno sissy porn? "
     
    samir pasa likes this.
  13. RickNeedsHelp

    RickNeedsHelp Fapstronaut

    11
    6
    3
    Sissy Hypno and porn can be taken as two different things. Sissy porn is where you fancy being fucked by other men or sucking their cocks and being dominated by them while Hypno is where you are brainwashed. They make you feel like you are worthless or whores and all sort of this stuff.
     
  14. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

    449
    512
    93
    Whats the difference between "gay porn" and sissy porn i don't get it ... and hypno getting brainwashed you are gay or beeing brainwashed that you are a womaN?
     
  15. RickNeedsHelp

    RickNeedsHelp Fapstronaut

    11
    6
    3
    Gaya porn is something in which both the participants do it on will and do it passionately while with sissy porn, you are treated like a slave or a ***** or anything that isn't considered worthy. Sissy porn also includes cross dressing most of the times. The sissy is made to feel as if he isn't a man by applying makeup.
    As far as Sissy Hypno is concerned, there is a mixture of being gay and being a woman. They just want you to feel like you were never the man you pretend to be or you are worthless and shit. Their ultimate aim is to make you feel horny for cocks and worthless in front of them.
    With Sissy Porn, a sissy can't avoid it but if he doesn't believe in Hypno, he can surely avoid Sissy Hypno. It's extremely tough once you get into it though.
     
  16. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

    20
    5
    3
    Thanks for the advice bro, I need to get rid of these problems created by porn, but do you think a 90 day challenge will fix these effects of porn? Please help.
     
  17. samir pasa

    samir pasa Fapstronaut

    20
    5
    3
    So what's your status now? How well did you recovered?
     
  18. donjonquixote

    donjonquixote Fapstronaut

    70
    52
    18
    Man feel free to hit me if you want to have any advice or honest discussion on life. On porn-related issue I can provide my (so far unsuccessful) experience, but I could really give you some guidance on life and mental clarity in general. I feel you. Don
     
  19. RickNeedsHelp

    RickNeedsHelp Fapstronaut

    11
    6
    3
    I haven't fully recovered yet but with the support I've had on this site, I think I'll be normal in a few months. I have taken the NO PMO challenge for 90 days and I hope that I can accomplish it. You were like a person on the the same boat for me, into porn from a young age and then getting trapped into sissy fetish.
    Whenever I feel like I need some sissy videos, I do something engaging for 30 minutes or so which give a big break to my thoughts, both sissy and suicidal.
    I've been to psychologists before and I am visiting one currently so you might feel it difficult to do it but don't give up my friend, it's difficult for me too even after months of therapies and counselling.
    Just have faith, we can fight this issue together. You and I are on the same boat, there are people who have been to the same boat earlier and can help with their experience.
    All the best

     
  20. Vintage

    Vintage New Fapstronaut

    3
    2
    3
    The idea in those videos is to take triggers and other remnants of this kind of hypnosis out. The only one I would recommend is Vive's "Deep Clean". In my experience, this will help clean the garbage out.
     
    HappyDaysAreHereAgain likes this.

Share This Page