Temptation: thoughts about having a daddy, bdsm

Honestly, I had the same issue... but as a man I wanted to dominate my GF in extreme ways (turns her on A LOT). Im trying to make things more about love and not lust, its best to avoid these fantasies and not make the problem grow or advance like I did.

 

I wondered if that kinda relationships can work long term. There is a danger that dominating patterns can seep in rest of the relationship in undesirable ways. I played a similar game and it got old really fast. But i guess its okay if its kept in check. You should find some other common ground with guys who are not into that, or negotiate some kind of healthy compromise.

 

Agree.

But progressives will say its a form of ''SeXuAl LiBeRaTioN''...
No wonder so many people addicted to PMO.

 

Remember you’re never aloud to tell people their toxic opinions aren’t facts unless you wanted to be labeled a nazi

 

lmao true

 

It seems like you are trapped in a specific trigger. One way or another, your brain has tied pleasure to a specific input, in this case, violent dominance.

While I agree with others that the type of dominance you are attracted to is not healthy, properly done BD is not inherently bad. Just the SM can be.

bondage is not for selfish pleasure of the dominant. It is an act of serving your partner, helping them escape for a few minutes and focus the entire world on her/his pleasure. When it becomes unhealthy is when there is a requirement for violence or humiliation. As Christians, we need to encourage and lift our partners up to their God-given potential, not tear eachother down, even if it is "fun" in the moment.

So, for you, I would advise to do some deep soul searching as to why you feel violent dominance is necessary to create pleasure. However, do not think that wanting to be submissive is a bad thing. You just need to be clear with your potential future husband that every so often, you need to be served by being respectfully dominated. The man must consider this a service to you, not as a way to pleasure himself. It is kind of like a massage, you both enjoy it at some level, but the person being messaged enjoys it more.

 

You may have repressed trauma, abuse, or neglect from your home environment growing up. You might want to talk to a therapist, but one that won't just encourage "sexual liberation", but help you get down to the subconscious issues. Perhaps you can find a certified Christian counselor?

While you might be naturally kinky, you scratching and hitting the "nice" guy suggests the domination is a symptom of an unhealthy underlying issue. In your title, you mention "daddy", which suggests you might have had an unhealthy relationship with your own father.

 

maybe you just dont want to date a weak guy i dunno

 

Having noted that a girl seems to get more replies than guys on here, I will nonetheless contribute as my sexual 'progression' got (or has got) to the point of wanting rough sex, especially orally. I have no real idea how or why it happened, but I think pornography contributes greatly, as before I had seen certain acts I had no idea they even existed. The drug-like effect of seeing certain things is undeniable and I almost feel sorry for the boy that was exposed to that stuff. I'm not at all religious, but now that I am trying to clean things up, it feels like a devil is trying to tempt me.

 

It is also a very frequent thing to find people doing what is not allowed. I won't mention religions that may lead people to call me racist, but look at the Christian tradition. Celibate priests can sometimes be a problem, and also there is the Catholic schooled girls thing. Basically, say no to something and it will happen anyway. Ask any parent...

 

Do try to minimise this 'outsourcing', whether it be to men or to Jesus. You know about your problems, and you know some of the solutions. YOU can make your life better.

 

Thank you for sharing this. I understand your desires and I am sorry that some guy treat you like that, especially because I have hurt girls by engaging them in BDSM activities without love. I think you don't feel safe in your life, do you? Being dominated means give all power and responsibility to other person. Some people maybe won't understand it, but being disgraced is highly attractive for people with low self-esteem and depression problems. It could seem to be a relief, but it won't make you a better and happier person. After session you will feel even more alone, just like PMOer after porn play. You need to have you live, not give it to somebody, because it is hard to bear it. Hope you feel better now and will solve your problems soon, friend

 

Maybe as a PMOer you have developed a fetish related to domination and BDSM, even if you have not been involved into that. In fact pornography addiction makes a person more dominated (based on what i read from some article) . So I think by a higher streak (1 month or more) can remove that kind of fantasy from you.