Ten year addiction

[Wally Gene]

Hi

I have unsuccessfully tried to stop looking at porn and masterbation for the past 10 years. When I turned 19 I managed to stop looking at porn for 2 years, however, kept masterbating. I then relapsed and have not been able to break free. I always thought that once I got married (being that I believe and followed no sex before marriage) that the addiction would go away. After a couple weeks of marriage I relapsed. Although I look at porn a lot less (once every couple of weeks), I still have not been able to break free. Every time I relapse, it affects my sex life and my ability to love my wife with all my heart. It weighs me down with feelings of guilt and affects my sleep habits. I am here to commit to the nofap challenge to "reboot" and fully abstain from porn and masterbation. this is my first time writing and admitting my addiction as such. Thank you for this forum.

Wally

 

[TheWalrus]

Welcome Wally. I'm glad to know that you've decided to get help when you couldn't do it on your own instead of giving in completely to the addiction. This willpower of yours, that has made you to dig up and join NoFap, will guide you to your destination i.e. A life where PMO would be the last thing that you'll think about.
So just hang on there and take one day at a time. When you wake up every morning, promise to yourself that you won't masturbate today and keep that promise till you go to sleep. Keep that promise for the sake of yourself, your wife and your married life. Think about her and how she'd feel of she ever finds out about your addiction. Use that to keep yourself from relapsing. You do this and before long you'll achieve a huge number of PMO free days and by then P or anything related to P will disgust you so much that you'll never think of those again.
In the meantime, explore the forums, read other's stories and you'll find that you're not alone in this journey. A lot of people with similar situations are here trying to fight this.
Also, get a counter, it'll motivate you to keep going. Keep your goals small at the beginning. Don't go for 100-200 days at the start, that'll lead you nowhere. You can take the standard 90 days goal or better, take a short goal of 30 days and then increase it gradually.
Hope this helps, keep in touch, ask for help whenever you feel an urge to masturbate. Stay clean, change is on its way to reach you.