Hi everyone who takes the time to read this. The story of this 31 year old male is rather bleak and as the nickname suggests. I've had porn and sexual distortions in my life since I was 10 and have tried seriously a total of 9 times to kick it through my teenage and adult life this being the 9th. I'm going to be including a lot of stuff from the past in my journal which may provoke Psub literature stories so I recommend females and homosexual males don't read my day 1 journal. I've decided to quit (again) as none of my other attempts made it past 2 months. The relationship I was in suffered and I believe there is PIED and PIDE from death grip and novelty. My parameters are PMO and even bouncing my eyes from attractive women through the course of my day. Pure cold turkey and cleansing of my system. I have already been suffering from fear of life becoming depressingly dull and unenjoyable from lack of orgasm but also recognise that once I'm rebooted and conducting myself properly within the confines of a proper loving and nurturing relationship that has lead to marriage, I will feel pleasure and connection like nothing I can dream of or imagine. After a couple of days of failure/denial of wanting to do it. I started after my last session yesterday. so 930 pm tonight will be my 1 day clean. I will be journaling daily for 90 days with a big past experiences and life story speal to get all potential triggers and emotions out in the open to begin healing and restoration. I will be trying to provide scales in terms of temptations and feelings of pain during my struggle as well as associated potential reasons for this. Thanks again for reading and I wish you all the best of willpower to reclaim your masculinity (femininity) and sexuality back to normal and realistic dimensions.