Thank you, my dear pornography ...

You see, many guys here first started off with masturbation. I didnt, i started with porn AND masturbation at 12, or 13 years not sure tough. Which slowly started to grow into bigass addiction that i cant imagine now.

By nature i was funny dude, energetic, positive, communicative .. mostly i had stuff that i dont have now.
So, i am here 18 years old now, finished my high school, getting ready for university.
And look what my dear pornography did to me, i am 18 years old guy .. who never touched a girl, never was in a relationship and mostly being mocked at. Thank you pornography and myself for letting me enjoying this beautiful summer at home playing games and time is passing by, while i feel guilty inside and i know deep down inside that this time i am wasting can be used in better ways.
Thank you dear pornography, when only friend of mine always calls me to get out to fix me up some girls, or to hang around, i always decline. I decline because in my mind i know that i am clumsy non attractive guy, and i know that my brain will block as soon as i get out with him. But, yet i want to meet people do amazing things ..but you, my dear pornography, my dear myself, you are blocking me.
Thank you my dear pornography and myself, you pushed me to that point where my own parents are mocking at me for being un social and having no friends.
So dear pornography i thought you'll "sexually set free" all of the people that got into you, but instead you enslaved me, and other people. You promised people healthy way of discovering sexuality, and sex itself .. but what you've taught me ? You taught me that sex can be done with everyone and everywhere without feelings, yet your disgusting bait of random fetishes spoiled me, i need more and more. That is not what you proimsed, my dear pornograhpy.
I feel like i am in a matrix, i wake up, wank to porn, get up, eat, play games, wank, and sleep. Pornography, you enslaved my mind and finally, you enslaved me. I never wanted a life like this.
Pornography was apparently sort of sedative to keep us calm relaxed, you know self time. But i've got the opposite. I am anxious, shy, lazy. Pornography, people and media used to say is a product to keep people satisfied, yes you keep people satisfied... for couple of minutes. You're product, but a product with main purpose of making money, manipulating people - Just like you're manipulating me, i always come back for more and more and i never get enough.
You destroyed my mind, and my mind destroyed everything around me. I cant feel, i am numb. Not that you're taking advantage of your constant users, you did terrible things to the females, and males perceived as objects to play with, to spread out the false messages to your faithful users, who today are here to get off you.

So, dear pornography ... Fuck you, fuck all of your corporations, fuck all of your cursed money you earn by enslaving people mentally. Fuck you pornography, for not letting me and other people live their life as they should. Fuck you pornography for ruining many lives, for ruining many marriages and for ruining the victims of pornography and turning their mind into empty state of mind.
You got me for a long time already, but this time ... be sure, my dear pornograhpy. I'll either win or if needed, die trying.
If other people can do it, i can do it as well.


Sorry people for a long post, i had feeling like i had to do it.

 

Thanks for the kind words mate, i really appreciate. The thing is, i am in nofap for 2 years if im not wrong. In meanwhile i get boost of motivation, i reach 20 days. After i relapse, and i end up in cycle again, i binge for days, weeks .. until i stand again and reach 20 days again and so it repeats. You know, got tired of that crap ...
Once i reached 27 days, ohh how fucking amazing feeling it was, cant describe .. pure awesomeness. That happened a year ago, i haven reached more since then ..

 

Yeah i know, i just had feeling like i had to let it out, few moments later ... i have felt good about it, and i still am