That's It, I Have Had Enough

Talove · Mar 26, 2019

Me and my current predicament:
I just relapsed today, and I decided that I have had enough. I have humbled myself enough to come onto these forums and set up some porn blockers on my phone and computer. I want to start a journey with you guys and I hope to have some support as well(it will be needed.) So I know that I clearly have a porn issue. It has been deeply entrenched into my brain at the age of 11 and I am currently 17. In between these times, me and some of friends enjoyed masturbating, and shared our stories with each other like it was normal. At this time it was normal for me to masturbate 2-3 times a day. However, I have gotten much better, and now I usually do it once every 3-4 days. We laughed about it and such, and this along with the stimulation that it brings has created this deep emotional attachment to porn in me.
However, now I have changed, and none of my friends understand any sort of self-improvement. So I have been pretty much isolated for a year(I talk to these friends occasionally, but I keep my distance cause I know they do not help with what I am trying to do.) You see, it has gotten to the point where I don't even LIKE porn or WANT to masturbate. It is a compulsive reaction in my body to do it, when I don't even know what to do with my energy. Even when I am masturbating, I KNOW its not going to be worth it and I KNOW that I am going to feel like shit afterwards, while I am doing it. I don't want it, my body does.
So now, I really want to overcome this thing. I have actively been fighting it for about over a year now alone, since I was 16, and that is clearly not working. I have personally grown much from this fight, however I keep on fucking relapsing. I believe my longest streak is 9 days(which is very long for me.) Lately, my most cherished memories are moments of bliss that I have had on my longer streaks(9 and 7 days). And those will always motivate me to constantly try and return to them. But those streaks I don't always return to, and I get thrown into the ditch of relapse constantly. I don't want my old ways. I have had a taste of bliss, and I will always be trying to return to that. So now I will attempt again, and try and reboot and return to my higher ways.

I was also wondering where to start a public journal I have seen some of them.

dylanwalsh · Mar 26, 2019

Talovekado said: ↑

Me and my current predicament:
I just relapsed today, and I decided that I have had enough. I have humbled myself enough to come onto these forums and set up some porn blockers on my phone and computer. I want to start a journey with you guys and I hope to have some support as well(it will be needed.) So I know that I clearly have a porn issue. It has been deeply entrenched into my brain at the age of 11 and I am currently 17. In between these times, me and some of friends enjoyed masturbating, and shared our stories with each other like it was normal. At this time it was normal for me to masturbate 2-3 times a day. However, I have gotten much better, and now I usually do it once every 3-4 days. We laughed about it and such, and this along with the stimulation that it brings has created this deep emotional attachment to porn in me.
However, now I have changed, and none of my friends understand any sort of self-improvement. So I have been pretty much isolated for a year(I talk to these friends occasionally, but I keep my distance cause I know they do not help with what I am trying to do.) You see, it has gotten to the point where I don't even LIKE porn or WANT to masturbate. It is a compulsive reaction in my body to do it, when I don't even know what to do with my energy. Even when I am masturbating, I KNOW its not going to be worth it and I KNOW that I am going to feel like shit afterwards, while I am doing it. I don't want it, my body does.
So now, I really want to overcome this thing. I have actively been fighting it for about over a year now alone, since I was 16, and that is clearly not working. I have personally grown much from this fight, however I keep on fucking relapsing. I believe my longest streak is 9 days(which is very long for me.) Lately, my most cherished memories are moments of bliss that I have had on my longer streaks(9 and 7 days). And those will always motivate me to constantly try and return to them. But those streaks I don't always return to, and I get thrown into the ditch of relapse constantly. I don't want my old ways. I have had a taste of bliss, and I will always be trying to return to that. So now I will attempt again, and try and reboot and return to my higher ways.

I was also wondering where to start a public journal I have seen some of them.
Click to expand...

Good Luck! I believe this time it is gonna work. But if it is not this time it will be another time. Just keep that fighting spirit.

FreeSpirit99 · Jun 8, 2020

Talove said: ↑

Me and my current predicament:
I just relapsed today, and I decided that I have had enough. I have humbled myself enough to come onto these forums and set up some porn blockers on my phone and computer. I want to start a journey with you guys and I hope to have some support as well(it will be needed.) So I know that I clearly have a porn issue. It has been deeply entrenched into my brain at the age of 11 and I am currently 17. In between these times, me and some of friends enjoyed masturbating, and shared our stories with each other like it was normal. At this time it was normal for me to masturbate 2-3 times a day. However, I have gotten much better, and now I usually do it once every 3-4 days. We laughed about it and such, and this along with the stimulation that it brings has created this deep emotional attachment to porn in me.
However, now I have changed, and none of my friends understand any sort of self-improvement. So I have been pretty much isolated for a year(I talk to these friends occasionally, but I keep my distance cause I know they do not help with what I am trying to do.) You see, it has gotten to the point where I don't even LIKE porn or WANT to masturbate. It is a compulsive reaction in my body to do it, when I don't even know what to do with my energy. Even when I am masturbating, I KNOW its not going to be worth it and I KNOW that I am going to feel like shit afterwards, while I am doing it. I don't want it, my body does.
So now, I really want to overcome this thing. I have actively been fighting it for about over a year now alone, since I was 16, and that is clearly not working. I have personally grown much from this fight, however I keep on fucking relapsing. I believe my longest streak is 9 days(which is very long for me.) Lately, my most cherished memories are moments of bliss that I have had on my longer streaks(9 and 7 days). And those will always motivate me to constantly try and return to them. But those streaks I don't always return to, and I get thrown into the ditch of relapse constantly. I don't want my old ways. I have had a taste of bliss, and I will always be trying to return to that. So now I will attempt again, and try and reboot and return to my higher ways.

I was also wondering where to start a public journal I have seen some of them.
Click to expand...

Hello my brother Talove.I'm in a more advanced situation than yiu I'm a 12 year old addict I'm 25 right now.All i can say is i know how you feel and its good ur stepping your foot now before it gets worse.I was like you at your age vut more addicted.I would relapse 2-3 times a day but i would take hours to finish ( sorry if graphic ).I believe what your saying like Saint Paul said back in the day: "it is not I who sin but the sin in me, because i know what is right but i fail to do it".Keep that in mind you don't want it or need.I joined this forums after reading somebody's interesting post here.He proceeded to say that P and even MO is unreal in the sense it's not natural.Your meant to be with a woman to do it.Your deceiving yourself,that pleasure is meant to be shared and your going contrary to mother nature ( don't mean to offend you by that ).I was adviced to develop new habits.Maybe you can start exercising?Or learn a new language?You can spend time learning about cars for example or pray to God for help.Know the time periods u get tempted the most.And be surrounded by other people at that time or spend time outside.

Talove · Jun 15, 2020

FreeSpirit99 said: ↑

Hello my brother Talove.I'm in a more advanced situation than yiu I'm a 12 year old addict I'm 25 right now.All i can say is i know how you feel and its good ur stepping your foot now before it gets worse.I was like you at your age vut more addicted.I would relapse 2-3 times a day but i would take hours to finish ( sorry if graphic ).I believe what your saying like Saint Paul said back in the day: "it is not I who sin but the sin in me, because i know what is right but i fail to do it".Keep that in mind you don't want it or need.I joined this forums after reading somebody's interesting post here.He proceeded to say that P and even MO is unreal in the sense it's not natural.Your meant to be with a woman to do it.Your deceiving yourself,that pleasure is meant to be shared and your going contrary to mother nature ( don't mean to offend you by that ).I was adviced to develop new habits.Maybe you can start exercising?Or learn a new language?You can spend time learning about cars for example or pray to God for help.Know the time periods u get tempted the most.And be surrounded by other people at that time or spend time outside.
Click to expand...

Wow today I just randomly checked on these forums only to see you commenting on this. This is probably not a coincidence. I don't lurk around on here anymore. Porn is done for me but I happened to come by today to change my picture. I will DM you something that will help you a lot if porn is still an issue.

Bolaj · Jun 17, 2020

Talove said: ↑

Wow today I just randomly checked on these forums only to see you commenting on this. This is probably not a coincidence. I don't lurk around on here anymore. Porn is done for me but I happened to come by today to change my picture. I will DM you something that will help you a lot if porn is still an issue.
Click to expand...

Can you send to me?

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That's It, I Have Had Enough

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