That's it

I couldn't go deeper even if I wanted to. All my past benefits have faded and I have turned into a couch potato whose life passes by watching YouTube videos, anime, listening to J-POP all day and PMOing every night. I should be studying but I am not. I should be reading more but I am not. I should be writing and learning new stuff but I am not.

Almost a year has passed since I took NoFap for the first time, full of energy and hope. Today, my old self is back, but I have gained insight in life, I know what rebooting feels like and nothing compares to that, let me tell you. I have to take drastic measures to stop the vicious cycle once and for all. One addiction leads to the other, consciously or unconsciously, so they all have to go before I can really take my reboot seriously. "I am changing my entire life, damn it! Why don't you get it!" I think to myself all the time.

I am taking a new personal challenge: I have to go 90 days without PMO (obviously), but also without gaming, surfing Reddit, YouTube, watching anime (this usually leads to hentai) and listening to pop music (most of the time J-POP, which also leads to problems and alienates me a lot). I promise myself I will meditate every day, read every day, write something every day. At the end, I will only be proud and healed. This is my own Monk Mode.

Greetings.

 

I will be careful. Thanks for your comment.

 

I can relate. When I was disciplined I got the best streaks, even when I was tired or bored I would just continue until a new goal appeared, and doing that I found many new passions that then went away... This is about letting out the best version of ourselves, all of our potential and power, and this is what I experienced on my streaks.

I used to keep a few journals here, but as my streaks faded away I just found it meaningless in a sense. It should be a good idea to start a new diary, a simple one. Thanks for the reminder!

Thanks! I see we are very similar in our addictive behaviours, too

This is true, you know, I am in sort of a low moment right now so maybe motivation is not easy to convey. However, I am confident I will become the man I want to be.

I think prioritizing the "noes" in the beginning is one way of forcing myself to adapt to the new, but you may be right on the fact that rebooting and rebuilding is the true problem here, and being patient and maintaining a course of action is the best approach. The key is to find that driving factor.

Thanks a lot

 

I do not know if I will ever become a monk , but this is at least for now an experiment to see how things go. What I think at the moment is that we cannot really control addictions, and that even entertaining things like music ended up sabotaging me in some degree, mainly when talking about pop music. One things leads to the other, if I played games I would find relapsing to PMO more like a real option, if I wasted my whole day on the Internet, gaming is just a few steps away... and so on.

@Roady We can talk as long as we want to here, I do not care if we discuss here or in my new journal.

That is very insightful, the controlling aspect. Everything I tried to control once, ended up taking over. That is the lesson I learned from this year. Thanks for your comment.