that's why some people need years to recover

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Doupleastronaut, Jul 14, 2019.

  1. Doupleastronaut

    Doupleastronaut Fapstronaut

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    that's why some people need years to recover.

    the main reason why many people recover after many years comes from their mistake.

    it's easy to do no pmo, many think that just doing no pmo to feel good. It is not so!

    many think that porn and sex are different things. actually for the brain porn and sex are the same thing! (this sentence is taken from yourbrainonporn). between porn and sex only changes the way you have sex.

    so I think that to have a recovery you also have to avoid sex (sex, masturbation, touch a girl, THINK about sex or girl).

    now some of you will think that it doesn't hurt to think about sex. my answer is that to some it may not hurt but to others, thinking about sex can hurt.

    "a small brain can do small things, a big brain can do great things"

    making pmo many of us have small brains, which means less gray matter.

    so for those with small brains (big pmo users in the past) thinking about sex is very harmful! it is not enough not to have orgasms!

    a last reflection. we know that porn has many degrees. a porn can be a sex video, a video of dressed girls, a photo of a naked girl, a picture of a dressed girl. here, who was a big user of pmo must avoid even simple pictures of dressed girls !!
     
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  2. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    So, you must basically live in a cave or kill yourself.

    Nice hint, thank you.
     
  3. ArduousPath

    ArduousPath Fapstronaut

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    It's a hard battle in today's world where everything is revolved around sex or at least that's the general picture the media wants to give to us because sex sells. The more we have a general message about something in our lives, the more we don't have it in our lives, e.g. sex. It was a natural thing in the past to get married and grow a big family and naturally have sex. Now we've had reports of young adults having less sex than our parents.
     
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  4. skull67

    skull67 Fapstronaut

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    wow, thats not the intention here, because obviously thats extremely tough to implement, the reality is this that till the time we can get completely rid of pmo addiction, we should be super careful of what we see and think, and then, we should switch to normal sex, and thereby lead normal lives like humans.
     
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  5. DayOne44

    DayOne44 Fapstronaut

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    There's some real truth behind this rather sarcastic comment.

    Biologically, we males are hyper-sexual beings.

    (We need not discuss human evolution to understand that.)

    The problem is harnessing the sex drive, directing sexual energy appropriately, and regulating the sexual appetite.

    Not finding ways to do these things has allowed us to fall into the depleting behaviors we in NoFap are trying to stop.

    @Doupleastronaut is describing an ideal which has been attained only by the rare ascetic.

    Such individuals have spent their lives living in caves.

    They have ceased all worldly and most physical activity and do little other than focus on controlling their sexual passions.

    Those are the extreme measures which must be taken to become completely non-sexual.

    For those of us living in active society, that ideal is possible only for a brief time.

    The problem may not be the sexual imagery which surrounds us, as much as regular activity which distracts one from the total concentration needed for this.

    So, yes, the solution is to go live in a cave. :D
     
  6. hairlesschewbacca

    hairlesschewbacca Fapstronaut

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    I think y’all are taking monk mode way to seriously.

    I personally can’t help the fact that I see some Big Booty women at the gym, my bougie workplace, or at bars and resteraunts I frequent. I’m reasonably not going to cut out Netflix or social media but I see and acknowledge there are gorgeous women on there too.

    It’s basically impossible to shut down our brains from things that produce dopamine. A lot of it is will-power. Telling yourself over and over everyday “I am better than this. I will not PMO.” And “Stop being lazy! fuck the flatline im the shit! I’m going to crush the gym.”

    Positive self-affirmation+Positive action=True healing

    Or I can lay in bed all day and feel sorry for myself and relapse.

    We all have the choice. What is yours today?
     
  7. mgz069

    mgz069 Fapstronaut

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    I dont agree with you.
    Lets see it in random numbers
    Vanilla sex releases 10 amount of dopamine.
    Masturbation may release 10-15 amount of dopamine
    PMO with 1 hour of binge watching the hottest sluts in the world may release 100+ amount of dopamine.
    Vanilla sex is only natural
     
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  8. Doupleastronaut

    Doupleastronaut Fapstronaut

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    you didn't understand what I wrote.
     
  9. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    We can't go live in a cave. Nudity is all around us. We have to learn how to live with it. From my personal experience, once you go past 5-6 month mark in monk mode, you lose interest in porn and masturbation. You can watch movies with naked scenes and sex in it and not really care. And I've been daily binge masturbator for nearly 2 decades, so if my brain could repair itself to such degree, everyone's can. The main problem after half a year of abstinence is not binge MO and P anymore but the things we tried to run away from with PMO habit. That's the real fight and that's the reason why so many of us relapse after long streaks. Stress will eat you up alive if you remove PMO from your life and don't address underlying psych issues you're having. The question is not if but when you will relapse, if you don't address those underlying problems. Buildup stress is no.1 reason why people relapse. PMO is just our drug of choice. This video is really good at explaining why we started to use "drugs" in the first place:
     
  10. Tywin Lannister

    Tywin Lannister Fapstronaut

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    Have you considered the possibility that you're just entering the big flatline? As you have been binging for 2 decades, 5-6 months is not that much maybe? I don't know but could be a possible right?

    And do you feel like you can see a difference between your underlying issues and PAWS? Those are 2 different things right.. And many symptoms just feel ffing chemical and I have them for no ffing reason
     
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  11. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I've had 3 months monk mode -> 2 months long relapse -> 7 months monk mode -> 3 months long relapse -> +6 months monk mode (current streak) in the last 2 years, so it's most probably preexisting anxiety and deep depression resurfacing. I relapsed because of buildup stress, not because I craved P. It's my drug of choice to relieve tensions caused by anxiety/depression mixed with feelings of guilt, shame, grif. When I couldn't take it anymore, I returned to my PMO rabit hole. I think that most of us long term binge PMO users have preexisting psych conditions. PAWS are real, but anything longer lasting than 1 year should probably not be attributed to them but rather to underlying preexisting psych disorders or mental illnesses (even if we're not aware of them). Even brain scans show that brain chemistry and gray matter restores to baseline after 6-11 months, so there is no physical reason for PAWS anymore after that date. These are not my observations but observations of drug/alcohol rehab therapists and neuroscientists. I'm not saying everyone has preexisting condition, but lots of us do.

    I'm not really in flatline anymore, I have regular morning woods and do get exited around pretty women, it's just that I lost interest in P and MO.
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2019
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  12. Trinere

    Trinere Fapstronaut

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    Hi Fenix,

    I have been reading your post for quite a long time. You're in my age 35+ and dealing with the same problem as I do.
    Anxiety, depression etc... and and at least for me -> lonliness..That's why I found the way to the NOFAP lifestyle.
    I also read your post about the goods and bads after 6 months of nofap.
    Deep down I was hoping that you would find more peace within your sould after 6 months - to be honest I was shocked about the bads that you still deal with.
    But your post also showed me that there seems to be more than the PMO thing, with that I mean the underlying problems which never came to the surface.
    Maybe I have the pre-existing depression and I always felt lonely because of never having a real girlfriend around me. Thats why I feel lonely.
    Anyway, I am in my 2nd month of nofap and I think I have a flatline at the moment, but I hope to gain the same goods as you when hopefully entering the 6th month as you hit.
    I am not thinking about fapping or so, the urges will come for sure but I am prepared...
    I would like to monitor (or read) your progress as I see some kind of similarities between us.
    How do feel right now? Has your libido towards girls increased? Are you having the desire to pick up girls? Just for the case you haven't been in a relationship for a long time, do you feel the urge to get a girlfriend?

    THX
     
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  13. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Hi, I'm glad you're doing OK, 48 days is nice achievement. My emotions and general wellbeing is a mixed bag to be honest. I react way to anxiously to daily problems and still struggle with deep depression. I'm doing better than 6 months ago, forgiving myself for the all time and opportunities I've lost because of this addiction is easier said than done. I think I'll need a lot of time to get my "house in order". But at least I'm now willing to face painful problems, not run away from them. As for the libido, I'm too anxious and depressed to start dating. I force myself to socialize more, that's as much as I can handle right now.
     
  14. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    Vanilla (? whatever, just fuck her brains out) sex 2000 dopaminez
    PMO 100 dopaminez
    Masturbation 85 dopaminez

    That's how I perceive it.
     
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  15. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    I look at it this way. You have 1-2 orgasms during sex. Dopamine released equates to D released by eating 2-4 good meals.
    If you're a binge masturbator, you can reach 3-7 or even more orgasms per day, which equates to amount of D released after eating 6-14 meals (hypothetical). Additionally sex lasts 7 minutes, binge masturbation hours and hours, releasing D in the process.
    There's no brainer in my eyes. You're overfloating your brain with D, if you're binge masturbator. Brain must respond by deactivation of D2 receptors to fight against constant dopamine surplus and that leads to development of anhedonia.
    [​IMG]
     
  16. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    Great comment man! Sometimes it really is all about perspective. You can read and read on here and then think easily you are suffering from all the withdrawls from reading about others. And if you focus on not PMOing all the time then it will be all you think about.
     
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  17. Tywin Lannister

    Tywin Lannister Fapstronaut

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    But do you feel the difference? Between underlying issues or PAWS?
     
  18. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Good question, it's hard to say. I was anxious and depression prone kid way before developing PMO addiction. I was OK during adolescent years, but problems with depression/anxiety resurfaced in my early 20iest when I went to college and that's the time when my binge (P)MO habit run completely out of control. I was self medicating anxiety/depression, I can see it now. I binged whenever I got anxious/depressed and that was nearly all the time. Going from being anxious and depressed to being numb emotionless zombie seamed like a fair trade comparted to being anxious and depressed. I never managed to abstain from PMO for long time. I had the longest, somewhat continuous streaks, in the last 2 years and I can identify the same levels of anxiety and depression as I did in my early 20ies. I believe I just postponed and worsened the problem and now I'm paying the price.
     
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  19. deleter99

    deleter99 Fapstronaut

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    LOL not touching a girl rly? Still everyone is different, there are other ways to improve PMO. You can't just say stop that and that that is impossible. Instead start doing some other things. I saved myself by first by cutting off bad food (sugar ,sweets, every drink except water), then starting a gym and im going now for about 4 months straight, started cold showers, made myself some habits daily like reading a book or running at night, doing everyday or every second day abs before bed. Start doing some productive things like improve at your job, go relax somewhere, go to some festivals, LIVE MAN. Now for me PMO is very easy and im so powerful around girls they became so easy and i dont even need to think about them because i have better things to do. Remember this is your life if you think something is bad start acting before it's too late.
     
  20. ZenAF

    ZenAF Fapstronaut

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    I mean, yeah, didn't try to be scientific about it. Just saying sex is way more pleasurable to me than masturbation or porn, talking about a single session. Of course you can squeeze in more orgasms per day through masturbation than through sex.

    That chart is a bit.. I mean sex is only 25% more pleasurable compared to baseline than video games? xD Can't take that serious, sorry.
     
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