The 10 Minute Rule & The Rubber Band Effect

This video is about distraction, but it contains principles that are solid for rebooting.



In particular is the rubber band effect. I personally suffered SOOO many relapses because of this. It's simply that the more you resist the urge to PMO, the more pent up energy is built in your resistance until it grows so much that you snap back into binging. Like a rubber band, there is only so far you can pull it.

The man in the video recommends that whenever an urge comes to spend 10 minutes reflecting on the urge and to do it in a particular way, like you are talking to yourself as though you are a good and understanding friend.

From my personal experience, the 10-minute rule may not be enough to break you out of PMO addiction...but the principles behind it and the rubber band effect are excellent for understanding a new way forward. I didn't get to where I am with white-knuckling and extreme willpower.

I got here by disarming my addiction. Trigger avoidance is good, but understanding that my loneliness was a pit of wood ready to catch fire at any moment did far more than the usual methods that are commonly espoused here. As I dealt with loneliness, my triggers became less and less severe. Because, you know? In today's world, you can't avoid everything.

You have to become someone resilient. That's where the approach in the 10-minute rule is great. You'll miss that so long as you go "just don't do it" over and over. You have to go the distance to understand yourself, to find where you are hurting and heal, to find what is weak and strengthen it.

Today I can squash urges. A huge temptation knocked on my door this morning. I knew what it was, so I just didn't answer it. I'm winning my battles through recognition and wisdom, not willpower. Willpower should be your absolute last resort. You need to build layers and layers of resilience that are employed without your effort because they've become part of you.

I hope this all helps you, somehow