THE 100 DAY SPARTAN CHALLENGE (OPEN)

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by Kratos_GOW, Jun 13, 2019.

Are you a warrior.?

  1. Yes

    689 vote(s)
    63.6%
  2. No, I am loser

    22 vote(s)
    2.0%
  3. I want to be

    372 vote(s)
    34.3%
  1. stoner0072

    stoner0072 Fapstronaut

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    Day = 15/100 well urges popped in now coming 15 days wil be my real test . Until i am able to cross this 15 days i will never be able to beat my pmo+ sxting urges or addiction hope to beat it .
     
    Hetairos, freshmem, voltex and 4 others like this.
  2. CosmeFulanito

    CosmeFulanito Fapstronaut

    Day 11 checking in.
     
    Hetairos, freshmem, NICEDUDE and 3 others like this.
  3. Chris333

    Chris333 Fapstronaut

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    Day 24
    I had quite extreme days and maybe things are related. But I was struggling a lot of temptations. One from inside as I got desires coming up quite strong and a pull into old behavior. At the same time I had a lot of work and had to accomplish a lot with a new office opening and two apartments for the operation. That went very successful.

    My day schedule I made so much process in was however completely upside down. This is not good for me but I had to accept for a few days turning back to normal.

    the heightened energy I do have as a result of my workout is giving me quite steady morgen woodies and also throughout the day which I didn’t have anymore.
    I ran into reopening of disputes of parties that settled earlier because I am helping my son right now to liberate himself from negative influences which means I draw these onto me. I still stay steady but quite a strong dynamic all over. In addition i had realizations about how I see potential dangers on the journey I walk right now to completely rid myself off the addiction theme which is also living it correctly and beautifully with my wife.

    i have a new psychologist in the works and think this will be of help to further deepen this direction. X
     
  4. Reaching for the stars

    Reaching for the stars Fapstronaut

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    Yes to be honest the counter doesn't mean much for me anymore the joy of seeing the days increasing or reaching high scores is just another addiction which is helpful for sometime yet illogical i mean this should be a transient peroid not an ultimate state of living i dont really feel big changes happening or some superpowers unpackaging :emoji_smile::emoji_smile: so this also should be dropped to be really free right but the difference is the experience now i know that sexual content can lead to sexualizing everything and living in an illusion i know now that there is an intense energy called the sexual energy which is really a powerful mystery to me that should be explored and understood at one time but of course after being free of the sexuality attached to it so i really dont know what do you think my friend ?
     
  5. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, i mean we are never really supposed to just count days rather we are here to make lifestyle. And yes watching sexual content can lead to fantasizing, i had that too, but i kinda have it in control now. Rather then thinking of something out of porno, i make that fantasy an intimate love story/making, it helps a lot. It made me not really have a urge to bust but rather have a fullfilling feeling If you can understand. Anyway stay on your guard my friend.
     
  6. voltex

    voltex Fapstronaut

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    40
     
  7. voltex

    voltex Fapstronaut

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    Good mindset, I'm the same way with my counter that it's only a number to show how long I've been on my journey, the real days are each single day I go another without relapsing
     
  8. bettermeeveryday

    bettermeeveryday Fapstronaut

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    Day 0. not worth my streak but I gave it up. i knew where I was going when I said "just a peek" to myself. But i did it. I now feel my gut clenching. idk what to do. this day played me real bad. i'm not able to think, I'll just go to sleep.
     
  9. Dana91

    Dana91 Fapstronaut

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    48 to go until 100
     
  10. bettermeeveryday

    bettermeeveryday Fapstronaut

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    I am gonna write down whatever I'm thinking now, after a bad sleep. I am telling myself to not beat myself up and just hear myself out. Beating myself is shutting me down. I just need to hear me out. I remember a few things happening while I was on my way to relapsing. I had urges in my mind and not body. I had a very bad day yesterday and a scattered mind - I felt irritated and impatient. Then I remember that anything I see was looking sexual. At a point I understood that my mind was really upset and its now creating urges to get its share of dopamine. I decided not to give in at all. Talked to a friend. Felt a bit better. I even said that I am glad I didn't give in to my urges and I made it through yet another difficult day. Done. I then was alone. My brain was telling me how peeking wasn't relapse, how some people do say "just peeked but didn't do anything, I will try not to do this, blah blah" and their streak is fine because they didn't watch anything etc. I was convinced that peeking is fine. I thought first that I am not going to a porn site for it. But I ended up there anyway. then I was way too tempted. With my cursor on the video, there was an argument in my head. one said you are done peeking now so go back to sleep, the other said but hey, isn't peeking also cheating and since you've already broken ur streak what are you tryna save here by going back to sleep? There was more argument, and it got really noisy in my head. The dialogues faded out in the noise. All I could sense was the urge in my body from all the earlier stimulation. I remember one of the last thoughts in my head being "I can forget that this happened and I would never know I relapsed" -- yes that's the degree to which it went. I clicked. PMO. I felt a numbing in me. As I knew, everything numbed out, my sensations, my emotions, everything -- was it really better than all the low mood and irritability? idk. And I reminded myself that "I can forget it all" -- indeed yes, I might happen to if I strongly wish to. But I felt something wasn't right about it. So I immediately posted here, just so I know when I wake up that I indeed did relapse for real, it was no dream or a random memory.

    After hearing myself out I see how deeply problematic this whole thing is. I better not ignore it and put it in a journal ig and talk to my therapist. I will do this.
     
  11. freshmem

    freshmem Fapstronaut

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    Day 22
    Get strong blue balls from streak 19-21 straight until now, fever that lasted one day and headache is severely reduced for now.
    For one that relapse. Stay strong
     
  12. NICEDUDE

    NICEDUDE Fapstronaut

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  13. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    I want you to watch this again.
    It happens yes, there will be time when you will be at a tug of war with your mind. Happens to everyone and i m pretty sure everything developed a way over it.
    I will tell you mine.
    1. Mental fortitude - I understand this tug of war is not easy, but after you won these small battles, again after again, you will start to develop better reasoning and higher understanding of the scenario. That's how you will win this.
    2- Its not real - After 1st step, i was able to establish that everything on the scree i see IS NOT REAL. Make no mistake whatever you see may or may not be real people. But it is not REAL in your life, you can't touch them, feel them, be intimitate with them, laugh with them, talk to them, they are just there, lifeless on the screen. Everything that, IS NOT WORTH IT!
    3. Understanding we are on this discipline for a higher purpose.- Our purpose is not to beat anyone, our purpose is to better understand ourselves and fix our problems. No screen will help us, no sex chat will do. Its in our own hands and it's our own battles. We have a higher purpose and we are doing it not for anyone else but our own self. Because how come you gonna love someone else with all your heart if you do not love yourself.

    I hope me words help you.
    Everyone is free to comment and give their ideas. Stay strong my friend.
     
  14. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    What really happens in blue balls? I never had them.
     
  15. NICEDUDE

    NICEDUDE Fapstronaut

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    Don't be too hard on yourself. Forgive yourself and begin again. Remember, the goal is progress not perfection!
     
  16. bettermeeveryday

    bettermeeveryday Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your words, I will spend some time pondering them. I thought I was getting good at step 1, I understood my pattern and could fight it off. I also tried to keep step 3 in my mind most of the time but it slips away sometimes, like I forget it, it doesn't occur to me when I have urges. But step 2 -- its so warped in my head due to multiple traumatic events in my past and I want to straighten it like the way you said, its nice and healthy like that. I wish I can someday. I am trying but its very triggering.
     
  17. bettermeeveryday

    bettermeeveryday Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your words. I forgive myself and I will pick myself up again. This seems like a long journey.
     
  18. stoner0072

    stoner0072 Fapstronaut

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    I think i will relapse today coz i wen nd used the app in which i used to talk to girls people say nature test you will i saw that today 4 girls i didnt even texted them they were up for fun am not judging them just telling the fact i respect there feelings and they are doing nothing wrong well. Back to back 4 girls texted me and they were up for some real things guyz they didnt even wanted me to say no they all were like yeh lets have fun i will vc you give me ur tg id or snap id damnnnnn guyzzz i dnt wana relapse all them gave me tg id or were ready to get along with anything and when i say anything u guyz should know there are no limits but i deleted the account didnt even continued talk yeh few dirty talks were there didnt touch myself whole time earlier i used to nd thats how i relapsed but i deleted it and here i am like a kid crying about it i dnt wana relapse guyzzzzzzz
     
  19. bettermeeveryday

    bettermeeveryday Fapstronaut

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    Dude, don't. Trust me, don't. Idk what else to say, but please don't if its just "fun".
     
  20. Dragar

    Dragar Fapstronaut

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