THE 100 DAY SPARTAN CHALLENGE (OPEN)

Day 21 checking in!

Only 2 days to reach my biggest streak this year!

These days I have noticed that the impulses are less strong but much more persistent, they remain in my mind even though I constantly erase them and start thinking about something else.

It's a war of attrition right now, in which whoever gets bored first will lose.

But I have remained firm, with my eyes focused on the goal, on constant alert, I know that carelessness is enough to return to old habits, so I remain alert.

I still have a little trouble sleeping at night, and maybe that's why I've been a bit irritable, but thanks to the habit of drawing at night I've managed to channel my anger productively and I always feel more relaxed once I finish drawing.

 

Thank you for sharing how you feel, it is a deep reflection.

Help and encouragement is important, but at the end of the day, it is one's job to change for the better.

This forum is to share thoughts and feelings, victories, concerns and struggles, you will always have a place here to express yourself freely.

We are human, we have weaknesses and concerns, but as long as we keep working to move forward, things will eventually get better, and in the meantime, it's good to know that we have the support of other people, such as all these good friends on the forum.

 

The key to success is to never give up, even if you fail you start to create new patterns in your mind that will help you keep improving.

One day at a time, one step at a time, and I assure you that you will achieve it

Success, you can do it.

If you haven't already, find a pen and paper, write down the reasons why you decided to start this (or make a list of how the P affects your body and mind in both the short and long term).

Read that list as many times as necessary, visualize in great detail what your life will be like once you are free from addiction, so you will be better prepared for when the attacks begin.

Have hobbies that you like, whether it's writing, drawing, exercising, learning a language, learning programming, reading, repairing things, there are literally thousands of options and surely more than one of them you will like, the idea is to avoid at all costs be on the cell phone or laptop with free time and nothing to do.

If suddenly a strong impulse comes to you, stand in front of the mirror, look directly into your eyes and say with total conviction "Today I will not fail no matter what happens". From experience I can assure you that it works, but you really have to believe what you say.

It seems that your mind created an association between feeling angry and looking for P to get rid of the anger, but that will never be a solution, look for ways to channel your anger in a productive way.

Excellent, take advantage of those moments to strengthen your mind, it is in moments of peace when we must prepare for war.

Keep it up, keep that good attitude and stay determined not to give up.

 

Tip 1: don't give up.

I know exactly how you feel because I went through the same thing, for months and months I was unable to complete the first week, sometimes I couldn't last even two days or at best I failed during day five.

There is an explanation, from day 3 or so, the brain notices the absence of dopamine and panics, it mistakenly thinks you are doing something wrong (because you are no longer getting that overdose of dopamine) so it tries as hard as it can to convince you that you watch porn again, however, these impulses begin to reduce from day 7.

From day 11 the sensitized pathways grown even stronger (is like a super memory for adicction), so beware of the triggers at all cost. Those cravings slowly start to decrease after the day 14, but only if you are not hit by a trigger.

Every person is different so this can vary from person to person, but this gives you a rough idea of how your brain behaves during the first few weeks.

Tip 2: Now that you know this, prepare to be ready when the attacks start.

Strengthen your mind, always have a reminder (on your cell phone or on a piece of paper) with your reasons to quit porn once and for all.

Tip 3: Stay busy.

The busier my day is, the less likely I am to give in to impulses.

NoFap is not about just avoiding porn, it is a lifestyle where you take all that extra time and energy and put it to good use.

Set goals and fight to achieve them, work on your personal growth, learn new things, accept challenges.

Tip 4: Meditate

Take advantage of quiet moments to think about your goals, the things you would like to achieve, how you feel and how to channel negative feelings in constructive ways.

Think about your last mistakes, think about the reasons why you failed and how you can make sure you don't make those same mistakes again.


Keep going, as long as you don't give up and learn from your mistakes, I guarantee that you will do better every time.

 

67

 

Day 5

 

Day 5

 

I gave it a little more thought and had to think really deep about it, but the one moment that changed me was New Years
It was after I was in a call with some friends and the party was over, so I was drinking all alone at 3 am and realized how fucked up porn is and the effect it had on my life, essentially shaping it to be a mindless slave to finding the perfect image scrolling for hours
Anyway, I also had to ghost my only real friend group because I wasn't getting along and felt I was slowly drifting, and I also realized I had become the type of person I loathed the most as I looked through old chat logs and messages throughout the years and staying in an isolated group wasn't doing any good especially since one of them was a massive stoner
For whatever reason I thought it was really funny thinking about the time when I was 14 thinking porn addiction is real and something stupid and then a few years later I realize how deep I'm in and that I should cut this habit out before I actually grow old, so I started Nofap for the sake of it but throughout the long 200 days I realized quitting porn isn't something small, it is something that will change me for better or worse as I remember that growing up my real personality was deformed by porn, and I might have missed out on relationships of a lifetime, big or small
I guess it really only hammered in that a good half of my childhood and the years to come was screwed over because I had unrestricted internet access, and scrolling through facebook after not using it for a very long time seeing all these people I knew and grew up with in school have went on with their lives, one of my friends getting his pilot license at 19 which I was envious because he had extreme passion, something I never felt for years making me feel like shit
All of it is just days gone by, water under the bridge now, so the last 8-10 years spent as a porn addict doesn't matter since I can't change those years but only this day
Not easy at all trying to slowly become the man I wanted to be but some days I wake up and feel good about myself for starting Nofap

 

A really strong attack appeared, which affected me since I am exhausted after a few days without being able to sleep and from the less intense but more constant attacks.

A few minutes ago I was with a blank tab open as I fought hard not to give in to the urge to start looking for content that would completely destroy my streak.

So I decided to be here for a while, in this forum while I get my strength back.

I did not give in, my browser history is still clean after these 21 days.

I used that blank tab to enter here.

During these three weeks I had never been so close to failure as I have been up to now.

I'll be here for a few minutes, and then for my own good I'll stay off the internet for the rest of the day. I will take advantage of these hours to read for a while and finish preparing for a possible job interview.

This war is not easy, if it were, there would not be so many fighting to escape from the chains of pornography, but it is not impossible either, since there are many who have managed to win, if they could, so can we.

There is nothing wrong with striving for a better life, a full life.

I'm tired of the damage porn has done to me for years.

There were times when I didn't even recognize myself, when my mind could only see women as objects, when I was unable to speak to someone else face to face even if my life depended on it, when I spent up to 18 hours a day just looking at pornographic images and videos.

Sometimes waking up at 4 am only to look for more images, acting weird because when I met an attractive girl I just stared at her from afar but unable to get close to talk to her.

When my only interest in life was to look for new videos or images that I had not seen yet.

Without even making plans about where to work or what to do with my life.

Is that what living is? Of course not!

I feel that in these couple of months since I started on the forums, I have achieved more than I have in my last two years.

I am doing more, learning more, I have stepped out of my comfort zone more than once, I have goals, I am learning to draw, I am starting to socialize, I am looking for a job and I am eager to start working.

*****
Already more than 20 minutes since I was about to give in, I already feel better.

And that's what has helped me a lot, remembering that no matter how strong the urge is, it will go away as long as you don't give in.

I will not give up, I will not fail today no matter what happens.

The beast is fierce and dangerous, but he's messed with the wrong warrior and it's my duty to show him who's the boss.

 

Day 1

 

Day 16 completed. I feel somewhat at peace today. Will use this time to self reflect and study for my exam and interview.

Absolutely inspiring! I felt my heart rate rise as I read through the part where you were on a blank tab because I had been there too and its just borderline impossible to revert from there. Its so great that you fought it so hard, it shows great strength and u got this! And all your other posts are also very insightful and inspiring -- a lot to learn from, so thank you for sharing your words, I am really grateful : ) And best to u in this journey.

 

Day 5
Feeling good and going strong. Trying to spend this good time in improving myself spiritually, physically, and intellectually.

 

Day 1..

 

68
Had a wet dream I relapsed and got depressed, woke up early and still angry

 

Day 8 .

 

My friends, it is with great pleasure that I tell you that I have achieved it, I keep my streak intact.

Day 22 checking in.

Only 1 day to reach my biggest streak of this year!

Yesterday was a fierce fight, I felt exhausted mentally, but being in the forum and remembering that I am not alone in this war helped me a lot.

Interestingly, yesterday I had a good night's sleep and today I feel more rested, more motivated.

There is no trace of strong attacks anymore, but the ones of less intensity still appear but with less frequency (now they don't stay anymore when I start thinking about something else).

Thank you for your support and encouragement, you are one of the reasons why I have managed to remain firm in my determination to move forward.

I hope you all have a good day, keep going, never give up, you are not alone in this fight.