Finally feeling like I'm past my cold. I was out of the gym for 9 days, which is a really long time for me. I got back to training last night: pushups-reverse crunches-jumpropes-deadlifts-farmer's carries. I'm already feeling sore this morning and I'm loving it. The muscle soreness is a reminder of Spartan effort...of the Spartan way of life. I recently switched to evening workouts, and last night, after work, I REALLY wanted to just go home and binge-watch TV. I trained instead. And I plan on doing the same exact thing tonight. Exercise and good nutrition are keeping me healthy and balanced, and I feel like it is one of the few areas in which I'm succeeding. I'm 49 years old but I train intensely. I want to be lean and ripped at 50. I'm not quite there yet, and I likely never will be, but my effort is paying off, and I'm doing it despite the stress and despite the fatigue. I'm nearly 2 weeks now without alprazolam, and I slept like a baby last night. I was asleep by 930 PM and I awoke at 530, feeling refreshed and alert. I actually I had a really nice dream, too. Usually my dreams are disturbing or eccentric. This one was peaceful. Things will be changing soon at my job. I'll be moving to another office. New manager, new colleagues. The maintenance dept. is actually moving my entire desk, and I'll sitting next to people with whom I've never worked. This is very uncomfortable for me. I don't like change, and to be perfectly blunt, I don't like many of my colleagues, either. I've worked at the same company for 5 years now, and there are many colleagues to whom I've never spoken on a personal level. I've never went out of my way to be rude or condescending, but I can be a bit arrogant and aloof. My mantra has always been, "I'm there to make money, not friends." Thus, at work, I've developed zero friendships, have declined nearly all financial contributions toward managers' birthdays, and I almost always refuse to eat colleagues' home-made meals, or their donuts, or their birthday cakes, etc., and I generally refuse to engage in small talk. I simply like to focus on doing my job and keeping my distance from my colleagues. There are very few people who I respect there: the top performers. I am open to advice from them, but if I don't regard a colleague as a top performer, then I have no interest in taking advice from him, and I will tell him that. I view this move as an opportunity to prove to myself that I can focus on my job and take things to an even higher level. I don't have to be liked by everybody in order to succeed. I'm never going to the most liked or popular person there, but as long as I'm hard-working, polite and respectful, I have nothing to worry about. Despite a miserable start to this year, I actually still have a decent shot of exceeding my quarterly quota, and this is all I need to worry about. From now until March 27, I need to focus on the goal of exceeding my quota. Forget about being accepted by others. So bring on the challenge!