Ok man first of all calm down, you're not alone. You're describing my life and my fears. It's life my friend, it will always try to make you feel inadequate. I feel it so often. I am 24 and yet I didn't start a real work, how do you think I feel about this?. It's a shitty situation but as everything in life it will end. And it will end in 2 ways: -Winning by paying the pain of discipline -Losing by paying the pain of regret It's up to you this decision. You can't think about tomorrow. Start now. With a single chapter. A single page. A single sentence. A single word. What you want. But start. Start and get used to it. You will suffer. I improved a lot this year, still I failed an important exam some days ago. I felt like shit. No value in me. Like I could have been dead and nobody would have dropped a single tear. But I didn't let this thought win over me, I didn't let it out. I said to it that was a lie. And it was. Start and show your effort to your parents. And they will love you no matter what. Win and loses comes and go. Effort? Nobody can judge effort. So give all that you've got to end the studies the best you can and you'll have written the first chapter of your new life. Everything will be clearer. In life you can't connect the dots looking forward, you can't connect them only looking backward. You have to believe that doing this will lead you to a place in which the dots will somehow connect. Keep strong my friend. It's worth.