The 2021 Green Day Challenge [OPEN]

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by Deleted Account, Dec 18, 2020.

  1. New Focus

    New Focus Fapstronaut

    I need to check in, I should have done so much sooner. Last week I crashed and burned, acting out 4 out of 5 days. So stupid.
    I am back now. My goal this year is 90%, so rest of this month and February needs to be clean.
     
  2. I broke though. Monday was a red day, Tuesday - Back to Green. A couple of things in my book I read are clearing up some coping strategies, and options for urge surfing that won't leave me feeling powerless. Maybe it'll stick.
     
    dharana and Chakra_Serpent like this.
  3. @tonyk1982 I printed this out. I changed the word "relapse" to setback in case anybody in my office sees it. If asked I am just going to say, something somebody told me when I was feeling overwhelmed and like I couldn't accomplish my goals.

    I am a leader. I will act like one!

    Thank you

    Day 2 of the rest of my life. NO more excuses.
     
    dharana and Chakra_Serpent like this.
  4. Let's go folks.
    Focus on the wins, focus on the positives.
    Talk/write about those!

    If I may speak for the group, we'd love to hear them.

    For me, today's marks day 28 completed carrying over from last year. 125 out of 128 from the last challenge.
     
  5. Another green day for me.
    Yesterday was spent with the wife, went out for dinner and just had a nice night together. She's back to work today and I've got some work planned so should be more successful days to come.
     
  6. Brahmacharya_UK

    Brahmacharya_UK Fapstronaut

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    Hi @fredisthebes,

    Your post fundamentally resonated with me.

    I've been very very lax myself recently, and although I'm over 7 days free from "actual-P" I have peeked a few times at some of the Fully Clothed Glamour scans that I have a relationship with. I have engaged in some AGP behaviours, and this aspect is likely to continue and progress. However I have mainly avoided intentional physical self stimulation and O.

    Your feelings and thoughts of dropping out are entirely natural and understandable. @BrohkenCompass has set a strong challenge here and there a lot of great success stories coming to the fore. It's easy then to compare yourself with others in the thread that are doing "better" than you and then negatively reframe your own successes as failures.

    The thing to remember, when you are inside the madness and suffering, any time clean is a miracle.

    If you get caught in a relapse cycle, see it for what it is. It starts at its basic level an attempt to find joy in life.
    And it works... Really really well. A little too well. Because it can make us happy in our own situations, even though they are not ideal. Once "the act" is over, despondency can arise due to still being in the same situtaion, but now 10 millileters less of highly concentrated energy-essence.

    You have to ask yourself the question... "Am I done with my relapse?"... The answer may be no! In which case you can carry on with the PMO cycle for one, two, few or many more times until you really are done. But remember this is a habitual and self perpetuating disease, the sooner you take back control, the better.
    So if that means "getting it out of your system, then so-be-it".

    This is an extremely powerful malady - it can and does overpower the strongest among us at times, so please don't think poorly of yourself for falling. BrohkenCompass has set this challenge in such a way that we need not worry so much about our "Streak" - which is a pretty misleading metric of success - and on how we spend our days, which is a much more "real" measure.

    Anyway I hope that you consider staying with us and, by your participation, helping us ALL to make 2021 a successful year.
     
  7. Good things to come. Breathe easy and let life just be.
     
    Chakra_Serpent likes this.
  8. Just a really well said and encouraging contribution @Brahmacharya_UK Thanks so much. I hope that your own national strife doesn't consume you as it did me, but remember...

    NoFap is like Golf. 80% mental. Controling the mind, stop overreacting before it got gets us worked up,- these are paramount for us to keep inside of our self control limits...andcwevdi have limits. The great thing...we can expand those limits. One way is by perspective...

    Hunt the good stuff. Always be looking for a reason to feel good about life and shadow the negatives.
    _____________

    HALT. Verb. The action of stopping. Synonym:: To Quit .

    Acronym. H.A.L.T. Hurt.Angry.Lonely.Tired
    Beware when we are Hurt, Angry, Lonely, Tired. These moments can make us vulnerable to feeling overwhelmed and acting out through our sexual compulsive addictions. Porn, Masturbating, objectification, fantasizing, promiscuity.... Etc.

    The book I read is beginning to cover specific strategies to counter our pattern of thoughts and acting out. H A L.T. Is one strategy. As soon as you feel a shift in your thinking or a pull towards acting out try to do something physical (the same thing) and say "HALT" aloud. Hand on your chest, hand on your keys, rub your beard or your stubble.... something subtle to our can do in public, but a physical gesture. Say HALT to yourself or out loud and think...I don't need to feel hurt, angry, lonely, tired. What is really happening? How else can I respond than by acting out. What do I really want.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2021
    tonyk1982 likes this.
  9. Another greenie for me boys :). Thanks @Chakra_Serpent for making me realize I am not celebrating the wins, but merely reporting back here with dreadful relapse reports.

    20/27. 74%.

    Much work to do.

    24/31 definitely doable and end the month nearly a week clean. Feb is a short month ...what an opportunity to get a whole calendar month in the green zone.
     
  10. Brahmacharya_UK

    Brahmacharya_UK Fapstronaut

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    Thank you BrohkenCompass for your kind words. You have pulled me back from a prolonged "Visual Edging" session (So far resisting the urge to touch, but the stirring and urges is very very intense).

    Today I have ordered some AGP[?] materials using money that I absolutely should not be spending under these circumstances.

    My analysis for now is the following:

    Hurt - My best friend, soul mate, coach and mentor is currently in a coma fighting for his life in hospital. Due to the COVID-19 restrictions, I am not allowed to visit him (They are ringing me every day though to tell me how he is doing).
    Angry - Angry at myself, that I was not nicer to him when he was well - so much bad feeling.
    Lonely - Right now, completely lonely. I am in my office by myself, with no one or no thing to distract me away from this behaviour.
    Tired - Very. These last 3 days have been completely exhausting, I don't know if I am coming or going.

    I am contemplating the possibility that I will not see my friend again. I cannot even imagine how I would carry on without him - he is everything to me and he has made such an impact on my life with his kindness.

    I am being realistic about what could happen. I also have to know that that the hospital are doing everything that they can for him.
    I pray for him - please will everyone here pray for him too... His name is Anthony.
     
  11. Man, that's a tough place. Clearly, relying on autonomous coping mechanisms to pull you through (autopilot).

    If there's no way to reasonably avoid this uncomfortable feeling, news, situation, ask yourself - "What safeguard's can I put into place to lessen the likelihood of being alone, and capable of acting out".

    For example - unrelated, obviously, but a suicidal person can initiate verbal check ins with a counselor orca friend every ___ hours. He can remove the tools or instruments that could pose a threat to harming himself. I think it's necessary to up the ante on accountability right now either here on the forum orca other tool - apps, chat boards, etc. Get proactive about having to tell someone you're okay early and often...the H.A.L.T. feelings likely aren't going anywhere - not to mention you're going through some grieving too. Grief can be at the news or expectation of imminent news. My father had Cancer, every day was a gift, but a reminder that time was counting down. Depression, anger, denial, bargaining, etc...I felt them long before he was gone.

    To you and your friend Anthony, I hope that you get to tell him how you feel and that your time together on this earth is much longer than what may be seeking possible right now.
     
  12. Chakra_Serpent likes this.
  13. Will pray for you both, friend.
     
  14. What do you guys think about this 6 minute video?? Feed the right wolf. It makes sense to me and I've been screwing it up big time!!!!
     
  15. Makes sense to me. Very important reminder!
    Essentially, focus on the positive, let go of the negative.
    "Feed your focus, starve your distractions." Other such analogies.
    And put that energy into creating a good life.
    That's how I understand it
     
    BrohkenCompass likes this.
  16. And add something to replace what we're "taking away".
     
    Ian Of Freelandia likes this.
  17. Yes! That's what I meant by "put that energy into creating a good life".
    I'll say though, that might be the more difficult aspect for me at times.
    Or maybe just unclear/ uncertain.
    For me, I've found it necessary to rest and pace myself with abstinence from PMO.
    Curious if anyone else feels this?
     
  18. 7 days straight of green days.
    I think it's been mentioned on here before but I'm reading The Easy_Peasy Method at the moment and I think anyone who is serious about quitting porn (should be all of us) NEEDS to read this book. Over the past week I've had 0 urges to watch P or to look at P-subs on Instagram (my weak spot). It's only early but I think I'll be able to go all through February with 28 green days. (If I fail - you can all give me shit :p)
     
    Ian Of Freelandia likes this.
  19. HeadlessKnight

    HeadlessKnight Fapstronaut

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    Had 2 resets recently, but I felt more like an escape-relieve than a fell to the bottom. Now I want to acomplish this month, there were only 2 times in my life with totally green months, and they're among the best ones in my life, february should be like that.
     
    Chakra_Serpent likes this.
  20. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    January review:
    Red days:13
    Amber days:1
    Green days: 17

    Thats a little under 55% green. Ee gads, thats barely scraping a pass when i should be in the top set. But never mind. I have my baseline, i know where i am at. Now i start to make improvements.

    Green February? Im certainly going to give it a shot. Greener than January? DEFINITELY. New month, new start. Lets do this.
     

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