The Advise I Wish Every Man Would Follow

Great words

 

Of course, woman are more attracted to guys that are after their goals and ambitions than a guy that has nothing going on with his life and is only pursuing woman. Succesfull man that have plenty of woman don't waste time chasing woman, they know they are a great catch and woman are going to chase him sooner than later. Man that don't feel worthy of a woman are always chasing them, putting them in pedestals, doing everything they see in movies to attract a woman and then complain when the woman don't give them the time a day.

Woman chose the guy they want to be with, be the best catch you can be and they will choose and pursue you. Woman love to work to get the atttention and validation from the man they like.

Chase woman and you will be put in friendzone, ghosted or used for free meals.
Threat woman like a star before they earn it and they will threat you as fan..

 

Well this is only my own perspective but from what i'v seen in general every man who is successful with women does indeed spend a lot of time thinking about them, wether it is constantly talking to them or making themselves as visually appealing to the weaker sex or just hanging(read lurking here) in nightclub a lot, they only pretend no to be interested, same goes for women; it is a tiring game of mutual deception especially since at one point both know the other is attracted to them but they maintain the facade, but that is courtship ritual for you, every animal has one, the "human way" is just more counter-intuitive than most.

 

That is a very good point.

I've noticed in my time going out (15yrs+) that my friends or myself always get more female attention when we are in a relationship to when we are single. Women can certainly pick up on something to do with a mans confidence or the vibe he is giving off.

 

I swear - there is a vibe (or a stink) that boys give off when they're regularly having great sex - women can smell it, and it's catnip. They can also tell if a guy hasn't had a rumble in the sheets in forever, and it's like you've been sprayed by a skunk.

 

Yes. Applies to both men and women and everything else in between.

 

There's an inversely proportional relationship between the amount of connectivity online now and the actual quality of communication online IMO. In other words, we're all hyper connected but most of the conversation is crap. This will inevitably effect online dating efforts.

More generally, both online and the cold approach on the street share something in common: Lack of context. When you objectify in terms of something like visual stimuli (the profile pic) you won't think about what the persons life context is like. And this kind of advice is basically about focusing on your life, which includes but is not limited to career.

It seems to me more and more there's a lot of people running around who doesn't do life well on some level, in some respect. Someone could have a successful career but have some kind of addiction - that just means they're functional in the general socioeconomic sense, whether you actually want to be around them in an intimate one on one level is another story. To put it another way, it's basically just unhealthy whether on an inter- or intrapersonal level. You can get screwed up if just one of the two persons involved have a lot of baggage and does not or literally can not contain it, let alone if both are. The addictive mindset of course ignores all that and just wants to stick it in that hole.

 

I think you're right to an extent. But what I think is, If you actively hunt for women you get quantity, but if you just mind your own business and follow your passions, you get quality.

 

I don't know if that is true, but is sounds good.

 

You can chase women and be really attractive. It depends on what's behind it. If it comes from frustration, it won't work. If you're chasing women to really connect with them and you're okay with who you are, that's when it changes everything.
You can tell a woman she's super pretty, assume your intentions, don't hide anything, even be needy, it will work. Because there is nothing unhealthy behind it. It comes from a place of power instead of frustration.

Hiding what you feel, making her see that you are unattainable, is just ego and hides a great lack of self-esteem. Ego prevents fulfilling relationships.
Almost all men are identified with their egos.
It's all about balance.

Now how to reach this stage? Well being (eat clean, exercise, meditate) and approaching women and expressing our vulnerability. letting go of our need for results.

 

This all sounds nice, but it isn't...complete. Your arguments implicitly end with a goal, "after it's all said and done", of getting with "hot woman". What really puts a person (both men and women) in an "attractive state" (don't think how they look, think energy) is that they are completely and utterly comfortable with themselves. That is it, none of this "women are the hunters" versus "men are the hunter" generalizations that have no basis in reality. Some women "hunt", some men "hunt".

Don't worry about getting "hot women"; you will never be "satisfied", never. Each time you get a "hot women" you will see another and it is an endless road and along that path you with hurt women; I am talking about real hurt, something that you cannot even fathom as a man, so one should be weary of this.

Does this other person operate in a way that syncs with you? Not just how they look, how they act, how they talk, how they treat themselves, all of that. You will miss all of it if you are blinded by how they look.

 

Woman don't care about your intentions. They react to their emotions. Chasing woman is proven in real life that is doesn't work. Woman love to chase the man they like and work to get his attention and validation (that's a femenine behavior), if you have to chase her means that you are the one chasing for her attentions and validation, so you are behaving femenine. That is not attractive to woman. That is easy, that is been another man in her life that is chasing her. But when a woman chase you all her emotions are triggered towards you and her attraction to you grows a lot more than when you chase her.

Yes... only once and only if it cames from your hart. More than that and you are just bribing her for sex, complementing her just to get her validation. Don't be the typicall simp that is always complimenting woman to get their attention. Dated a lot of woman that tell me the same thing, all the guys that like their photos are just fans, creepy guy that she would never go out with.

Always, but don't talk about them. Make your intentions clear by asking a woman out, no more than that. As a man you just need to move the ball downhill, and from there just let the ball grow speed at their own speed.

Is not about hiding, but the reality is that woman love mistery. If a woman knows everything about you, she is going to be borred. If she knows that you like her a lot, is going to be easy, woman are attracted to man hows feelings are not clear. Don't lie or hide information, just don't be an open book.

Been needy is the worst you can do with a woman. Even needy woman get rejected by man.

Been needy is totally unhealthy. It comes from a lack of something. You can want her, but if you need her then you have an unsolved issue.

Is not about hiding. Is just not scream it every second. Is about having your own life besides your partner.

Well being is something good to do for us. Not to be better in relationships.

You can approach a woman and ask her out, period. Chasing woman is a recipe for failure.

Woman love masculine, confident guys. Good luck expressing vulnerability with the woman you want to date. It sounds really good in paper, but in reality when you show weakness to a woman she is not going to trust your masculine core and her attraction to you is going to get lower. Is just how woman are design, blame nature for it. Accept it and act accordingly.

 

I remember when I was a young teenager in high school, the girls were indeed coming to me. I never sought contact simply because I was not interested in doing so. In every grade/class, there was at least one girl attracted to me. No kidding. I still think about it to this day. But before a women can come to you, you need to be in the right place. For instance you could live a life of 'no approach' and 'not caring' as suggested, but if you do that but aren't in an environment where women feel OK to let you know they notice/like you, nothing's going to happen.

It's unlikely that a woman is going to do 'cold approach' to men. I did notice that they will 'eye' you, often at the moments you aren't eying them; in other words, OP is right about that part that when you aren't looking. But still, even if you suddenly notice in the supermarket or whatever a woman's got an eye on you, it wil be likely up to you to make a move. It will require calm, social skills and emotion.

I disagree that showing vulnerability is 'weak'. That sort of statement comes from people who grew up with the wrong idea; "emotions are wrong". ALL men cry, and ALL men have 'negative' emotions, they just don't show them among men, at all, or do so private. Bottling them up will eventually result in frustration and disaster. Showing your true emotions is one of the strongest things a man can do, provided that you know how to control/express emotions in a natural manner. I wouldn't start crying when I just met a woman for instance, but you can be honest about how you feel.

I have a friend who's doing the cold approach thing on a weekly basis. It's terrible to see how many times he gets rejected. Sometimes he's got success, but that's usually in places where it's more 'accepted' to approach. Cold approaching women out of the blue in public during day has an almost zero success rate. I'd rate the chances of success from most to least success; meeting through friends, school/college/classes, work, sports, public during night (going out), public during day (shops/street/etc). There's probably a lot between them but that's my general idea.

 

Showing how powerful and strong you are towards women is just a way to hide your insecurities.
You can do it if you want. but you'll find out how hard it is to connect authentically with women.
When you start dating a lot of women, you realize that they too have their fears, their insecurities.
A woman who sees how powerful you are, how you have no flaws, how you have done everything to optimize your way of being and your life, will just be afraid to go further with you.

You will not be on the same wavelength because she will inevitably think that you should not feel negative emotions, that you are too perfect. If in your head when you read this sentence you think "what's the big deal, this is what I want", then there is a real ego problem here.

The truth is you only express the positive, not the negative. You keep everything to yourself. It's a way of repressing a part of who you are to show only the positive and exist in the eyes of others. Ironically, this takes you away from who you are.
More intelligent women will know that it's hiding an unhappiness.

True connection with a woman, even for sex, happens when you talk unfiltered about your fears and insecurities, both of you. When you do, a sense of trust is built between the two of you.

this is not true. It's all about ego and it's precisely this mindset that screws up relationships these days. It's anything but healthy because you're creating an atmosphere of duality instead of cooperation with the girl.
The worst thing is that women and people in general don't care about what you've accomplished and your status. Everyone has their problems, their fears.
Women do have fantasies about guys like that. But these guys have so much pride and ego, need for validation, that they are unable to create something authentic with a woman.
But these are just fantasies. It's like you when you see a woman with a perfect body on instagram. it doesn't mean that when you find yourself in front of her you'll have the best night of your life. Usually she'll be wearing a mask that's so ingrained that it's impossible for you to connect with her. This is why vulnerability is a key trait for relationships, even friendships.

Self-confidence is so skewed these days. You're human, you too feel fear sometimes, negative emotions, sometimes you don't know what to do, you feel like a loser, you don't know how to take it to the next level with that girl. It's totally normal. Women feel the same way. That's precisely what makes you an empathetic and deeply human person.
It is up to you to express what you feel and to know how to express it correctly, or to hide it, stay on your couch waiting to be perfect to take action. unfortunately you will never be perfect enough because perfection does not exist and fortunately.

The girl I'm dating right now, I approached her at a bar in the middle of the day in front of a lot of people. I was scared of course.

I told her "Hey, I'm not staying long, and there are a lot of people around us, it could be embarrassing. But you are lovely"

Waiting for women to come to you and focusing on your life is just a way to avoid being rejected, to avoid appearing vulnerable to people.
Yet it is this vulnerability that makes you attractive and deeply human and empathetic. You can't repress it because you are human. It's in you whether you like it or not. The more you follow your ego, the more unhappy you are. On the contrary, when you decide express your vulnerability, you feel a lot of love and women feel it too. It's a sense of congruence, connection and respect between the two of you.

Either you stop this need to exist in the eyes of others, to express yourself fully as you are with your imperfections, to overcome your fears and to connect authentically with women, or you continue this quest for perfection, for misplaced ego and for "power" that leads nowhere.

 

Of course, woman is made with more insecurities than the man, that what make them more attracted to man that have what they don't. they want a man with confidence, strong that can take care of himself and his woman/family. Woman feel safe with a man like this and that make them feel confortable and let them be totally in their femenine. There nothing more beautifull than a woman that is totally in her femenine.

Totally true, woman that have a lot of issues / red flags / baggage are going to be afraid to go out with you. You are way to much for them, you have your shit together and they don't. But this is the beauty of it, when you are in your best version you don't want to date people with issues / red flags / baggage. You can move on from them and wait for a woman that is happy and have their shit together. Not only a woman like that is not going to be affraid of you been in your best version, she is going to be glad about it and is going to find it really attractive.
If a woman is full of problems and see that you have also problems then she is going to be confortable dating you. So yeah, if you have a lot of problems and display them to your woman, she is not going to run away, good for you.. you attracted a woman with a lot of problems to your life.

This is what is real for you now and in the past, you never experienced not been like that so you assume everyone is like you. I don't feel like that at all. When I felt like that in the past I worked my ass to become a confident masculine man and changed my life in a hugh possitive way. More success with woman was just a side effect of it.