The Art of Meditation

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by SolidStance, Dec 12, 2015.

  1. Lots of people seem to like meditation around here. Learning that was a surprise for me. In all the years of my own meditations, I never linked my addiction with my meditation. I guess I knew I was addicted to PMO and hoped it wouldn’t disturb my meditations and the insights that come from them. Sometimes pornography did overlap into my meditation, but in the long run I can see it never really made a big impact in that part of my life. The most areas of life that were affected from PMO was my interactions with other people and how I dealt with my anger and seniors at work, thank god PMO never got me fired but its come close to that.

    Meditation shouldn’t really be used as a technique to cure the PMO lifestyle, if you think its somehow going to make you stronger against porn, your wrong, sorry. Suggesting meditation to someone who is deep into relapsing on a day to day basis is not good, that person wont be able to focus or find meditation helpful. Theres not enough willpower yet. If meditation DID help you, then correct me, I’m open to that possibility. But I don’t mean it aiding your mental health -we know it does that- I mean actually meditating to rid yourself of the day to day urges.

    If your into meditation, then you have some awareness of energy and you have heard of it living in the spine and going in and out of spinal centers of energy called chakras. Someone stuck in relapse mode keeps energy down at the base of the spine. They are functioning in the lower centers and strengthening that area, sending energy through that channel. Chances are meditation will only increase the burdens of past memories and flood the mind as they try to sit still. In ten minutes the mind can be swarmed with hundreds of thoughts. Meditation for the untrained person should be so short, not longer than five minutes; and not everyday, every other day would be best.

    This practice has to be built up like a muscle. We don’t go to the gym everyday and blast one muscle group. We know that the muscle would get so exhausted and broken down, that it wouldn’t ever build back strength and injury would result. Well we can injure ourselves with meditation too. Trying too hard can lead to an imbalance in energy; going up and down, up and down. One needs guidance from a trained teacher to do it safely if other parts of life are out of control. Or, since most of us don’t have a teacher, the process just takes a little longer, our timeline is stretched out longer than others who are calmer, more content people.

    Meditation strengthens our willpower. It has too, during meditation we are deliberately harnessing energy; and willpower is energy. So that energy, that willpower has to be channeled somewhere. If we are not in a mentally stable state, guess what happens, we channel that extra energy down into fear, anger, resentment, jealousy, lust. Meditation can actually make the lower, instinctive emotions stronger. And that means it could make our urge to masturbate stronger than before.

    OK, so your out of relapse mode and you keep hearing meditation is a good technique. The real write up starts now, what came before was a preamble.

    Start small, five to ten minutes a day. We want to get the body and mind used to the fact that we are trying to put a leash on them. They will resist of course, its like trying to tie up a wild dog; there will be resistance. Which is one of the main reasons we start small, the mind and body will feel it has won when you get up after five minutes, but thats what we want, small victories one after another. In awhile when your sitting for thirty minutes, the mind and body will think that its won because you get up after thirty minutes instead of forty. Slowly we trick the senses to obeying us. We build this small routine into a bigger one without rushing the mind. By then you should also be practicing SIMPLE yoga postures to help the ankles, knees and hips adjust to the longer sitting periods.

    What are we doing for this time, how do we meditate. In the beginning we are just focusing on the breath. We breathe in for nine to ten counts and out with equal counts, lets stick with nine for now. Nine counts in and nine counts out. Eventually we want to be able to breathe out twice as much, at 18 counts. Breath control is important and we want to do it diaphragmatically. Not up in the lungs but in and out with the stomach, like a baby breathes.

    The breath and the mind are closely linked. When we are flooded with mental thoughts, chances are our breath is uncontrolled and erratic. Stop here and just try it breathe very deeply in the diaphragm. now….Ok, while you were breathing deeply, did you notice any thoughts? That was an actual meditation. Thinking about something is not meditation, thats called contemplation. Contemplation comes before meditation, its the preamble to meditation. Holding a thought and reflecting in absolute silence is meditation. Thats where intuition comes from. Thats where genius comes from, that nothing space. Make no mistake, meditation gets harder the better we get. Its like an onion being peeled open more and more, the burning oils lay underneath the surface, once exposed they can burn. We are an onion with many things hidden inside. When we meditate we start to bring these past experiences out in the open, which is why we start small, we dont want too much of that karma at once. Resolving those issues slowly will lead us to our depth, our soul, the real you.

    Ok thats enough for now. Keeping it simple will give the most benefits. Trying to hard will push you farther away. I might write part two if people want.
  2. ShotDunyun

    ShotDunyun Fapstronaut

    Meditation has been so difficult for me. I've tried to do it a couple of times, but I am always thinking about something. Most of the times isn't even about pornography, it's just bullshit, like "CHYEAH, Bebop and Rocksteady look fucking cool in the new TMNT movie".
    What I've found helpful is to listen to the right music, last time I was listening to some native american meditation music and I loved it, I could picture myself walking through the forest. Great post man, thank you.
  3. Your absolutely right. Music is a wonderful tool, along with visualization.

    Meditation is a lifelong challenge and art, mastery really only happens for a small few. I mean, the beginner needs to try 5 minutes for about 3 months. Then 8 minutes and so on.

    Eventually we carry the meditation with us throughout the day. Then, when sitting back down for our session, we continue right were we left off, we never actually stopped.

    Before meditation can be fruitful, we need to not get angry, overly emotional, fearful, resentful, these lower emotions force us to work even harder the next time we sit and try to be still.

    Character development is a prerequisite to meditation. Any teacher that says you can just get initiated for $100 into some technique is stealing your money. That teacher has no idea if you are an angry or jealous person.
  4. oooo

    oooo Fapstronaut

    Hi, i think meditation is one of the best things there is.
    I added it as a daily routine. I think head space is a very good app for meditating the guy is explaining things good with animations.
    Thanks for your post!
  5. Meditation is powerful indeed.
    MGSV Phantom Pain likes this.
  6. buzzlightyear

    buzzlightyear Fapstronaut

    I am part of the people! Yes? : DDD
    ziodeg and (deleted member) like this.
  7. When you have people from the porn industry possibly hunting you and your family, the only thing to do is recite the Buddha's name and meditate.
  8. Son_of_Iroquois

    Son_of_Iroquois Fapstronaut

    For me, meditation isn't about willpower. Willpower to me means control, which means interference from the self. Since the conditioned self is in fact the problem and not the solution, I see meditation as the obliteration of the self. In this way, it is more of an allowance than a process of will. The allowance means the spiritual energies that exist in the subtle body are allowed to rise up, combine, and create in their natural way.
    Explore likes this.
  9. Glad to see there's a thread about meditation here. I practice Zazen at least once a day, along with various other styles of more.. esoteric meditation/ritual work. I would agree that standard meditation shouldn't be seen as the only tool in one's arsenal against PMO - though it can certainly help, and as an ex opiate addict I can say that my daily meditation was probably the number one contributing factor to me losing my prior interest in drugs and staying clean for just under a year now.

    I think for someone doing NoFap one of the biggest benefits of meditation is that it takes up time and provides a new habit for someone to focus on. Your mind abhors a vacuum and so when you try to remove a bad habit without replacing all that free time with new healthy activities - it's like you've lost something fun and not gained anything in its place, so you feel like quitting the habit was negative overall, and bam the vacuum is quickly filled with the activity you were trying to stop.

    This was big for me when quitting drugs, because my entire day previously involved around shooting up. I tried multiple times to quit with no luck because I didn't have any new activities to replace my old habit with, as I had basically no other hobbies. So I turned back to my spirituality, and decided to get into a daily routine of rituals and meditation, and it was something I could get excited about again. Taking that step was what kept me off, and soon my enthusiasm about my spiritual path was so intense that it overrode any lingering want to return to drugs I had.

    So I definitely suggest daily meditation. However, if you want to go a step further, and use meditation in your NoFap journey, then I suggest alongside a regular form of meditation, to do a willpower exercise form of meditation. What do I mean by that?

    Well there are several forms of meditation where instead of letting things happen, or just watching your breathing, you're instead trying to build intense focus on something. This takes a lot of willpower, and the more you direct your focus, the better at it you get. I'll share an example exercise with you all below:
    1. Sit comfortably, a few feet away from the wall, facing the wall. It doesn't matter if there are things in between you and the wall, although the more other things in the room, the more distractions there will be - I would start off with minimal distractions, and increase the level of distractions later on so that the exercise becomes harder. Just make sure there's a clear line of sight to the wall.
    2. Pick a fixed point on the wall, if your wall is plain and completely clean then stick a piece of blu tac or some sticky tape to the wall to mark the spot.
    3. Gaze at that spot. The entire time you gaze, fill your mind with the image of the spot you're staring at.
    4. Every time you catch yourself looking elsewhere, or thinking any thoughts, gaze back at the spot again and allow it to fill your mind.
    This'll be hard at first, but if you do this for 5-10 minutes each day, you'll find that your general impulse control starts to become more manageable, and your focus and willpower increase.

    Do this in combination with Zazen, or Vispassana, or Non-Directive Meditation each day and you'll notice some immediate benefits. :)

    Great thread!
    SolidStance and Son_of_Iroquois like this.
  10. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

    Meditation is not supposed to easy at all. It takes months of consistent practice before you really start understanding meditation but if you don't give up, it will bear some great fruits.
    SolidStance likes this.
  11. My 2 cents from practicing Zen on and off for those that really want to get a sense of peace of mind, to tackle the onset of urges to fap. Like SolidStance mentioned above, meditation is exactly like exercising growing them biceps or building up your cardio, it has to be done a few times a week and consistently. However, I wanted to mention something very important that I never see or hear anyone post regarding meditation.

    Precepts: A must to keep the mind as calm as possible when followed through. By living this code, you will feel and mentally see changes occur in your mind making sitting meditation that much easier. The funny thing is that these precepts exist in all the religions I've come across, Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, etc... it's all there and so what does that mean?....everyone can practice.

    1: No Killing
    2: No stealing
    3: No lying(has 4 parts) A:No half truths or half lies B:No talking behind someones back C: No insulting whether they are in the wrong D:No lying
    4: No adultery
    5: No drugs, drinking, gambling (I'm not sure by today's standards but drinking a beer hours before meditation might be OK, up to the person)

    Now these precepts might sound easy right? For the Advanced try this; Follow your thoughts and see if you think of killing, stealing, lying, adultery, drugs. If you find yourself doing so, it doesn't mean the end of the world; it's a chance for you to reflect on those thoughts when u have a chance to sit down. The deeper you go into those thoughts, the more effective and better of a person you become. Remember, your mind contains all the answers you can possibly want, you just need to give it time.
    Awakening123 and SolidStance like this.

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