THE BEGINNING OF A NEW DAWN

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Emmanuel25, Aug 1, 2020.

  1. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    my masturbation journey, which is about 10 years old began as something i did casually along side normal sex, however i became addicted to it after i stopped fornicating on religious grounds. Thus, it became a full time substitute for my abstinence from fornication. Things have been this way for years without any much negative effects (as i still finished with a 1st Class) aside behavioral oddness. However i have become more determined to end this because it is beginning to interfere with my work, and my memory capacity is noticeably reducing by the day, and i am having serious concentration problems, and inability to maintain relationships. Although last year when exams where closer, i prayed and was able to stop it for the duration of the exam (about 6 months in total), however as soon as the exams where over, and i faced a little problem/disappointment, i went back into masturbation with an intensity which i have never experience in my life.
    Although i haven't masturbated in a couple of days now, i will however officially began my journey to freedom today being the 1st of August.
    i will daily post my progress on here
     
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  2. Lucid111

    Lucid111 Fapstronaut

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    Good luck brother! 6 months free is great
     
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  3. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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  4. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Day one was awesome. Although just about a few minutes after i made the post of my new determination to end porn and masturbation, the hunger came calling, but by God's grace i was able to overcome by simply taking my mind off the pleasure and focusing on all the negative sides of masturbation and porn - which i daily learn about from various YouTube videos i watch (i watch these youtube videos regularly as a reminder of the harm being done to myself each time i masturbate and see pornography).
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2020
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  5. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Day Two really went well. No temptations, or disturbing thoughts or urges. However i sure did have a couple of slight but very brief headaches. These kind of headaches do often surface each time i began to abstain. At a point it usually gets intense before it subsequently begins to subside and totally stops as the days and weeks go by.
     
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  6. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Day Three really went well. No temptations or disturbing thoughts, however i realized that at about midday i began to feel irritated for no reason and i was just angry for no reason as well. i also notice that at night when i was about to sleep i began to feel dizzy, like everything was moving in circles, it however subsided just before i went to bed.
     
  7. kuijkuij

    kuijkuij Fapstronaut

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    It seems that praying do work well. I'll also keep doing this. Thank you!
     
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  8. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Yes it sure does, although not in isolation. Payer and work go together. You play your part and leave the rest to God (If you are a belliever).
     
  9. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Day Four went well. Was a calm day, no urges or irritability or anger. I was really calm and got alot of motivation to do alot of work which i had abandoned due to porn usage.
     
  10. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Day 5 was almost disastrous. You talk about the devices of the devil, i almost had an unintended relapse. what happened was that i did not do a proper 'house cleaning' - proper searching for and Eradication of all porn content on my laptop. on my computer, videos are download either through the browser or via internet download manager (IDM). when i was about to commence i simply just went to the systems download folder and deleted all the videos there, and forgot to open the IDM and delete videos i downloaded via IDM. so yesterday i was checking out the movies i had downloaded via IDM which were about four in number and were in the IDM video folder, but when i open the IDM video folder i was seeing more that 4, actually about 8. so as soon as i opened it, although not sexual content actually but were videos with nudity, at that point i was shocked and couldn't move for about seconds, but subsequently i just recieved courage and deleted them all from my computer, and searched to ensure there were no others remaining.
     
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  11. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Day 6 was awesome. i am beginning to get my motivation back. Am now going back to writing as i used to, publication of my works and so much more. while there is still much ground to cover, i am positive about the future. The day went well generally, i had no urges of any sort, but i still have some perversive thoughts when am around the opposite sex.
     
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  12. khabastos

    khabastos Fapstronaut

    Hey, good on you for dodging that bullet on day 5. You reaped the rewards on day 6 :) Keep going!
     
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  13. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    eheheh.... yeah, i guess so. thanks
     
  14. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Day 7 was a good day. the motivation to do other more productive things is largely increasing. i had no urges at all throughout the day as i was too busy with other much more productive things. And i also realize i am now beginning to take myself out for clothing shopping etc. i really cant remember the last time i did that.
     
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  15. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Day 8 went really well. i actually went to a social gathering and came back home really late, thus i was too preoccupied to even have the urges etc.
     
  16. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Day 9 went well. Was actually a busy day for me, as i decided to change the paint work of my sitting room. So was busy with it almost throughout the day. didn't even have any disturbing thoughts at all, as soon as i was done painting, was too tired so i just watched a movie and slept off.
     
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  17. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Day 10 was good. Although at the office some pervasive thoughts and urges came up in my mind, i was able to easily ignore the urges and thought, and continue with my work.
     
  18. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Day 11 was very eventful and full of restlessness, uncertainty, and so much more. i really pray for strength to get free from these twin beasts called pornography and masturbation.
     
  19. Emmanuel25

    Emmanuel25 Fapstronaut

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    Day 12 was alright. although i noticed i was a little bit depressed for no specific reason.
     

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