The beginning

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Enguardsom, Feb 7, 2015.

  1. Enguardsom

    Enguardsom Fapstronaut

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    Today is the day I change my life
    I'm 25, Im in the military, I own a business, I live alone in a nice apt in San Diego, I have a nice car, I am very handsome, above average in height, proportioned minus the lil beer pouch but broad shouldered nonetheless. Good sense of fashion, know how to "talk" and "maintain" a conversation with a female. But. I. Haven't. Had. Sex. In. 5. Years. By sex I mean finishing. That first year, I was married. I lived in Canada (had moved from Miami) I had met a girl in Miami and she visited me once every 3 months... We fell in love. It was probably the most pleasant relationship I had ever been in. But I never was able to function for her. And if I did, the tower would fall. Mind you she'd only stay for days at a time. So I never was able to make it up. Essentially, I have never ever had sex with my wife. We separated that year, and she immediately found someone and got pregnant. She now has a 2 year old going on 3. All because I masturbated too frequently and didn't even know it. She was the icing on the cake. She subconsciously ruined my self worth. I spend every day trying to continue and function as a human being. And on the outside people see this extremely handsome dude who always has a smile on his face and a beamer and a smile and a charm and some nice ass clothes and they say to themselves there's no way this dude is not taken. I masturbate every other night to fall asleep and release anxiety. I wake up with anxiety. I'm not happy. I should be at 9% body fat but I yo yo weight. I have a patchy beard, I have low testosterone levels probably because I have been masturbating since I was 9 non stop.., only a 2 week break in boot camp. The military has set me up for success and I want to take advantage of it. Prior to my pity marriage I had many girlfriends and the weird thing is since I was younger I had more energy thus I was able to finish. But now I cant. Some days I just edge. I even have gay fantasies and thought about trying curious things. When I know deep down I am or will never be bi or gay. Women are gorgeous to me. But these pixelated women are not real. I want the real thing. I can GET the real thing. I can bartend and go wild in San diego. But I have to stop this M thing. It has taken over every aspect of my life. No girl has been able to make me function since 2010. It's bad. By the way, every time I M, I sniff my upper lip uncontrollably. So I feel even more likes primate and a loser. I need your help guys. Hear my cry. I'm separated. Pending divorce but I put it off because that has been my most consistent thing in my inconsistent world for the past 5 years. Need my life back.
     
  2. Warrior01

    Warrior01 Fapstronaut

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    You definetely have some work to do. You have done what I think is the most important step, being aware of what's going on. I feel you the way all the negative stuff that PMO has carried to your life. Thats your motivation, to leave all that shitty life, anxiety and disfunction behind, and fight for taking your life back. Do your best!
     
  3. LouMan

    LouMan Fapstronaut

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    wow enguardsom -thats a pretty heavy story there :( i must admit im pretty lucky that excessive M didnt ruin my staying power. i kinda surprised actually BUT i do know it will happen sooner or later if i keep this lifestyle up. my only advice on the whole (as a fellow sufferer and not a smart ass know it all)

    A. FORGET about women COMPLETELY for now - you need to focus on yourself and your recovery- seriously. you must strive to get to the point where you are not M'ing for weeks or even months at a time.

    B. HEALTH- look into your symptoms. why do you think this is happening- is it a mind thing or performance anxiety or do they both feed off each other, etc. Work hard to eat healthy, take vitamins, exercise, etc..to build up your male energy again and STORE it (don't pour it down the M drain)

    C. I know it hard and simply GET YOUR DIVROCE OVER AND DONE WITH. i know its hard becuase ive been there and my partner and I were both prcrastinating which made it more painful than ever

    D. see a medical professional/ counsellor or psych etc..if you cant do the above alone (we all need help from someone else at some point and guaranteed will need it in the future too i.e. getting old)
    seriously this is YOUR HEALTH

    E. Feed off the energy- yes this is a real energy you can tap into at any time by simply jumping onto this website. read the success stories here on NoFap. there are SO many stories here, so many people with the same issue as us- it is awe inspiring and helps us to see that we are humans- we get sick, we make mistakes (sometimes huge ones) but at the same time we have to capacity to transform out life and reverse\ stop this disfunctional lifestyle and hurt out completely

    PS all the best and may you find your happiness
     
  4. TheMessenger

    TheMessenger Fapstronaut

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    My friend, ive been pulling the monkey under the age of 9, and i understand the obstacles of starting at that age group, but im here to say there is more hope then you can ever imagine, a reboot will take longer in our circumstance but youll unlock doors and potential you never had, your already charming, and a stand up guy without it, imagine the possibilities with it, youll be a gahdamn super hero, forget pmo all together, forget woman, dont even think about, let yourself forget your hand was ever a vagina, when it does, have a orgasm with a actual human vagina and your brain will remember to fire the erection button when in contact with a female, were all behind you buddy, Loumans advice will help you

    fight hard friend
     
  5. Enguardsom

    Enguardsom Fapstronaut

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    Wow brother thank you, I thought I had no replies on here so I had quit looking at the site, I can't believe it honestly. Thank you so much and I will definitely fight hard guys. God bless!
     
  6. Enguardsom

    Enguardsom Fapstronaut

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    Cheers dude God bless you
     
  7. Enguardsom

    Enguardsom Fapstronaut

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    Will do boss, thank you so much
     
  8. M L

    M L Guest

    I really feel for you - but I'm positive you can change things. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. We are here to help you out! Best of luck always:)
     

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