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The Beginnings of a Relapse

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by asfixiated, Oct 22, 2015.

  1. Oct 22, 2015 #1
    asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    So today I want to talk about something that is affecting me as I write this post - the beginning of a relapse.

    I know that writing about the problems I face during my reboot has helped me defeat relapses in the past, and I know that writing about this one today will help stop my relapse cold.

    A relapse doesn't always begin with PMO. Often, it "begins" earlier. And while it is important to note that it's "never over until it's over", there are undoubtedly feelings and occurrences during the day that can decrease your willpower and start fostering the wrong mindset.

    My relapses often "begin" midday at work - I find myself tired and I drift and fantasize, looking to sexual fantasy as an escape from the drudgery of a particularly bad day. This leads to my brain beginning to "accept the inevitable", and I simply give up. I have yet to beat this kind of urge.

    But this time I will, because I've realized that while my urges may begin early in the day, and exist in my head for long periods of time, they are simply thoughts that, in the end, only affect my behavior if I focus on them and allow it.

    In short, I know I'm going to win today. I know this thing won't beat me.

    I'm going to check out of work a bit earlier today and go home and take a nice, long nap.

    Stay strong friends!
     
    asfixiated, Oct 22, 2015
    asfixiated, Oct 22, 2015
    #1
    HopeSong and bomonti like this.
  2. Oct 22, 2015 #2
    JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

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    Very wise reflection. If one has been sustaining PMO recovery for a while (especially 20+ days), usually one doesn't relapse by one quick event. Rather, one has already set up barriers along the way that usually need to be breached first before the relapse. Hence, we need to see the warning signs early and then start counteracting the addict self. It's sort of like Star Trek Enterprise under attack - it can sustain only so many hits until it's shields will collapse, causing full hull breach. When our shields have been struck and are down 25% or 50%, we need to then take extra caution and rebuild our shield strength or risk further hits sending us into hull breach. If our recovery is well under 20 days still, we are still probably in the gravity belt of the prior relapse to some degree and we are building up our shields afresh, little by little, till they reach full strength. So while we can take a hit even under 20 days, we must take quick action since we're vulnerable still and a hull breach can happen even sooner.

    Live long and prosper!
     
    JoeinUSA, Oct 22, 2015
    JoeinUSA, Oct 22, 2015
    #2
    asfixiated, WOTL and HopeSong like this.
  3. Oct 22, 2015 #3
    HopeSong

    HopeSong Fapstronaut

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    This post is so timely for me today. This inspires me to start my own thread to work on my own feelings of being tempted toward relapse right now.
     
    HopeSong, Oct 22, 2015
    HopeSong, Oct 22, 2015
    #3
    asfixiated likes this.
  4. Oct 22, 2015 #4
    asfixiated

    asfixiated Fapstronaut

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    Update: I didn't relapse! And I'm not planning on it either. In fact, I feel just as energetic and motivated as I did yesterday. All it took was relaxing, accepting my feelings, and then taking it easy at work for a few hours and I was set!

    Stay strong guys! It's worth it! Woohoo!
     
    asfixiated, Oct 22, 2015
    asfixiated, Oct 22, 2015
    #4
  5. Oct 22, 2015 #5
    g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    all relapse is premeditated at some level
     
    g2stop, Oct 22, 2015
    g2stop, Oct 22, 2015
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