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Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Fenix Rising, Jul 10, 2018.
It's all connected… PMO is just a symptom, not the cause of our ill:
Yea, TED talks are just amazing. Found another one like this.
"Depression has been defined as being caught in the pain of the past and anxiety the fear of future events. The obvious antidote to both of these is the present moment. But the present moment is a difficult place to live, especially because of distractions in our society and inner unresolved trauma inside your body. Instead of numbing ourselves and running away, we need to go deeply into them and be present with them."
It's interesting how no one wants to talk about roots of our addiction. I've done "successful" "hard mode" reboot sessions (aka 2x 90 days and 180 days) just to relapse big time after completing them. Every time compulsive behavior worsens. I've come to conclusion that I can't stop not because porn is so addictive but because I want to get away and porn "helps2 me escape reality. How to break this vicious circle?
You answered this yourself, don't run away from reality, let yourself to face it. It probably will cause lots of anxiety, depression and pain, but we need to go through this, there is no other way. If you feel bad mentally don't try to escape from bad feelings using porn, just accept them and let yourself feel bad. Your mind must adapt with time, but it's a long process.
Thank you for the interesting sources guys!
Easier said than done. How do you cope with it? I'm out of ideas. I thought rebooting will help me, but it didn't. When I'm stoned from compulsive PMO, my feelings are numbed to a degree my depression and anxiety symptoms are suppressed. When being "sober" I get hit with major depression and general social anxiety. I hoped prolonged rebooting will solve my problems, but my mental state only got worse and worse. I don't know what to do next. Another reboot will most probably end the same way as my last 3 tries did in huge relapse.
I don't trust psychiatrist after listening to prof. Sapolsky's lessons regarding science behind anxiety and depression anymore. No psychiatrist will test your genome, make thyroid function blood test, assessment of adrenal glucocorticoid function, biochemical tests for brain chemistry imbalances… before prescribing drugs. Typical visit at psychiatrist looks something like this: "Why don't we try SSRIs in combination with anxiolytics first, if it doesn't work we'll then try SNRIs, then TCAs …?" What a f...?!!! These people are treating brain chemistry regulating drugs like candies. They should be called charlatans not doctors. As a result around 70 % depressions go mistreated. That's not science, that's hit and miss game which can f... you up with drugs' side effects in between. Why would anyone accept such treatment?
My idea is that the brain eventually will adapt. Everytime I feel stress, boredom or something just goes wrong I instantly want to look at porn and edge to get some dopamine and alter myself up. What I do, I just let myself experience all these negative feelings and after some time they pass away and I start to feel better. You say your mental condition got worse and worse when you went through reboot, this is what happened to me too. When I abstained from PMO I had the worst depression episodes I ever had (the bottom was at 6 months after I abstained from PMO and it lasted for many weeks), also lots of anxiety. With the help of medication I got better, but I agree that medication solely won't cure the depression/anxiety we feel. The underlying psychological problems behind the addiction must be identified and solved first. However the medication helps to stabilize the neurochemicals and does some brain healing.
If they get it right. But how can they get it right without extensive tests? You may be eating "happy pills", but your real problem lies in thyroids, steroids, hormonal turmoil etc. In that case selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors or tricyclic antidepressants won't work. It's 40 vs 60 (20 + 20 +20) percent game. Without chemical tests patient has roughly 20 % chance of getting the right treatment. I don't want to eat something that gives me 20 % chance of elevating my depression and anxiety symptoms and risk dry mouth, nausea, loose bowel movements, headache, insomnia, obesity, joint stiffness, higher risk of suicide... not without establishing what is chemical cause for my depression first. Guessing game is crazy. How is it even allowed? Man has to wonder how many people got f... up by shrinks this way. It's almost like taking experimental drugs.
Okay, so people always say that pmo is the symptom and not the cause, but I feel like pmo has hindered me to develop as a person and the brain fog and anhedonia gives me the inability to interact properly with others which gives me anxiety and everything that sucks gives me depression. If I do nofap and get rid of brain fog and be less numb, I can talk to people thus relieving me of my anxiety and I just feel anxiety and nervousness sometimes for no reason when nothing is going on. I guess I’m expecting something but I figure if I had a better mental state I am more able to shrug little things off. So is pmo always a symptom because I hate when people say that. Even if I force myself to conversation, my brain doesn’t work so I don’t pick up social cues well or see them, so which is it for me?