The bigger (longer) they are, the harder they fall. (looking for science based answers)

I understand what ur saying cause I had relapsed harder after a long while but I don't know about any science behind it.

 

I don't know the exact answer but I would suspect it comes down to dopamine. This is just a hypothesis. Our bodies are constantly looking for new dopamine hits because dopamine is our brains reward chemical. PMO floods our brain with dopamine and when we reboot we are removing that constant dopamine high (this is why people flatline).

Dopamine seeks novelty and more shocking things cause bigger dopamine releases. This is why people's porn use escalates into areas that they would never normally be excited by and sometimes their brains get so wired by the effect of the dopamine that they can only get off on certain material.

So, it could be that your brain is craving a big dopamine hit hence why you are seeking out more extreme material - because your brain has learned that more shocking/anxiety provoking stuff gives bigger dopamine hits.

 

I don't know about science behind this, but my experience (and I know fapstronauts who have had the same reaction) has at times been that "Now that I've relapsed, it doesn't matter if i go and binge for a couple of days, my streak is ruined anyway, better take some sweet time now". Of course it's a very very wrong way of thinking (because dopamine, because brain wirings, because anxiety and self-esteem, etc) but it can appeal to the fapstronaut who has just had a terrible time during his reboot and is now drowned in shame from the relapse and seeks relief. If he hasn't gone far enough in the reboot process, his brain STILL tells him (by any means necessary) that P will soothe, making the fall harder the longer he's been abstaining.

That's probably one of the best examples of why people shouldn't just abstain but keep building healthy and positive habits while quitting PMO. In case of relapse, the fall is lower, softer, easier to deal with and we don't feel like starting from scratch. And the good news is that what you're describing isn't at all a linear process that keeps increasing in strength, unless you don't make some changes in your life besides quitting PMO. These changes should slowly fill the empty space left where PMO has been, then there's no more falling - stumbling maybe, for a while, but it becomes very easy to pick yourself up from the ground if you stumble on the walkway, whereas if you felt from the 5th floor.... not so much!

My 2cts!

 

I don't know about the chemical reasons, but the whole idea of achieving a long period of abstinence and feeling good about it, and then "relapsing", would bring a more severe internal depressed feeling. In my case anyway when I've gone a long period w/o and then "fallen", I feel a lot worse afterwards than when I'm in a cycle of PMO day after day. Tomorrow I will tie my personal record of abstinence. NoFap has been a great resource and checking in every morning or evening has been wonderful. But, it is getting more difficult. I suppose it takes a long time for the old images and habits to leave one's brain. Dont be discouraged, keep trying and celebrate the small victories.

 

At OP. It is the binge effect, or chaser effect, and like others have said, it has to do with seeking a dopamine rush. Gary Wilson says it is the brain's reaction to "when the getting is good, go get it, now, over and over, as much as you can, while you can." Actually, not a direct quote, but you get the idea. Back when our brains evolved, millions of years ago, to where our sexual reward systems are, essentially, now, having a sexual encounter was not, nearly, as nice, and complacent, as it, usually is, now. Back then, having sex was not something that happened casually, or happened knowing it would ever happen again. Back then, having sex meant we were distracted from the environment around us, meaning subject to attack by predators. Back then, having sex was a very risky proposition, and there was no guarantee it would happen again, so, when the opportunity presented itself for reproduction, our brains took the opportunity to make the most of it, by encouraging us to mate, over and over and over, while we could, because that opportunity was risky, and might never happen again. That is the evolutionary explanation of the chaser effect, which is closely related to the "Coolidge Effect", and is probably, essentially, the same thing.

This is why, when you relapse, you really, really, really, want to relapse over and over and over again. That part of your primitive brain that is designed to encourage multiple sex acts as a way of maximizing reproduction, goes into full reproduction mode. That is fine, by the way, if you are really mating, but that part of the brain that rewards sex with a dopamine rush does not distinguish sex from High Speed Internet Porn, which allows for a prolonged and profound dopamine rush stronger than sex does. Thus forms the addiction.

Get Educated. Understand what is going on in there, and you will find success in the reboot much quicker, much less horribly painful, and in a much more efficient manner.

Peace.

William

 

Hi Prof. I actually, respectfully, disagree with the "dopamine replacement" concept. It is a concept that has been bantered about here for years. Understand the problem. It looks like a porn problem, but, it is actually a dopamine problem. We have a porn induced dopamine addiction. The solution is not to find an alternative to getting a dopamine high, but learning how not to get artificilly produced dopamine highs. I have seen a lot of addicts here ask how can we get that dopamine high without porn, naturally. The reality is, porn allows for an unnaturally high, prolonged, profound, dopamine high that, naturally, seldom occurs. The trick is rewiring the brain not to want it, not to miss it, not to crave it, which is the purpose of the reboot. We have, unconsciously, over years, conditioned our brains, sensitized our brains, to produce a dopamine high/reward in response to the hypersexual thoughts High Speed Internet Porn creates. I said "High Speed Internet Porn" because that is the culprit and the problem. Not all porn produced the profound, prolonged dopaming high that HSIP has, which is why, until it was created, there were no reported cases of "porn addiction." For the addict to recover, to get back to balanced, get back to "normal", we should not try and find a replacement for the dopamine rush that HSIP produces, but, rather, we have to re-balance, and find a way to live without that high. We will still, naturally, have dopamine highs, most often, the old fashioned way, though actual sex, and normal sexual contemplation, but that off the chart feeling HSIP gives us, is something the successful rebooter has to learn to live without. No addict wants to give that high up, but, to get back to balanced, it has to be given up, not replaced. There is no way for an addict to avoid jonesing in the reboot. It has to be anticipated, expected, and endured. It does not last forever, and if you can get the hard 90 in, it mostly goes away. But on that road, you have to Learn to Love Withdrawals. No way around them. We spent years conditioning our brains to love, and regularly get, that dopanine high that feels so thrilling. When we give that up, we are going to jones, we are going to hurt. No easy way out. That is the truth, that is the bad news. The good news is: There is a way out, it just hurts like a mofo.

Truth.

Will I AM.

 

Just sent you a PM. It is my standard greeting for all newbies. Almost everyone used to get, but, a couple of years ago NOFAP shut down mass mailing, for security purposes (a troll kept sending everyone porn pictures, which I found more amusing than annoying, but, then again, I was way past the reboot at that point), meaning I can no longer mail multiple newbies, meaning maybe 5 a month get it, as opposed to the 8-10 daily that used to. Hope it helps. PM me back if I can help in any way. I have absolute confidence you will overcome this. Keep going, porn is not an option.

Billy the Kid.