The Case of Rejection & Daydreaming

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by dogeatdog, Nov 3, 2019.

  1. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Fapstronaut

    Hi everyone, last night I attended a play to support my autistic friend who was acting in it, and I asked a girl out beforehand if she'd like to attend with me and she politely declined, saying she didn't have the appropriate means of transportation to get there. Though a plausible reason since we're both students and she's new to the city I live in, I'm 90% sure that she just wasn't interested in me but I sorely wanted to believe that she did. We shared a huge common interest and I really enjoyed talking to her, plus she emotionally fulfills me in a sense and she's really cute. I used to daydream about what life would be like if we were together and doing fun stuff like watching films on the sofa late at night or cooking together, but now those thoughts feel wrong and out-of-place. I used to deal with these thoughts by PMO, but I realise that it's not a healthy way to deal with the issue and am looking for alternatives. Do you guys have any ways to combat loneliness and rejection after it's happened? Or any thoughts on the topic? I'd really like to hear them.

    Sorry if you were going to use this, but I'm not really looking for the "plenty of fish in the sea" solution to this because frankly there are like no other girls that I'm even slightly romantically interested in. I thought this girl was really special and that's probably why I'm taking a simple rejection like this so badly.
    WanderTruth, Hold it in and cr7da8055 like this.
  2. s0gek1ng

    s0gek1ng Fapstronaut

    You have to be little like bad boy don't just do something that she wants just don't kill your opinions for her, and be yourself don't try to be perfect guy for her be yourself say things boldly to her also show caring gesture (I mean care for her do things to make her happy just don't pretend that you're doing this to make her happy), don't cancel your personal plans for her, Spend accurate time with her but make those times memorable talk about world and some stupid things like some thought experiment like what if she is given power to make herself invisible or something like that talk and never say that you like her directly you have to generate feelings in her heart for you so let her like you. And Focus on your passion it's good you daydream about her but make that your motivation because girls tend to like passionate guys who are passionate about their work .
    You got this bro this girl is your's just don't think too much about it she will be your's just focus on things you want to get better.
    WanderTruth and dogeatdog like this.
  3. Just Is

    Just Is Fapstronaut

    If you already told her you like her, is it possible to tell her that you're interested in the future (if you haven't already)? If you do, it kinda reinforces that it wasn't a spur of the moment thing and that you do have true feelings for her. Apart from that, I think it'd be best to focus on yourself and become the best you can be.
    koolpal and dogeatdog like this.
  4. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Fapstronaut

    Hey guys, thanks for the responses they've given me more clarity on the girl situation; but right now I'm looking for responses on how to deal with and your opinions on daydreaming. I find it a pretty interesting subject because now there's a moral dilemma whenever I think about it.
  5. Demodectic

    Demodectic Fapstronaut

    Dont hang all your hope on a single rope. Ask other women out. If she saw you dating other chicks it would increase your Sexual Marketplace Value to her. But since you are a sniper that is only fixated on a single target that shows.......makes you less of a catch in her eyes.

    Woman want to see social proof and that means she needs to see that other girls are interested in you and that you have several open options. If you dont meet that criteria you are going to get turned down by >80% of girls. So make the changes. Ask 5 girls for their phone number this weekend and you will see that it desensitizes you to the rejection. Nobody ever died from hearing the word No but guys are so snake-bitten about getting turned down.

    As far as the daydreaming i would advise you to knock it off. You are only torturing yourself. I cant tell you how often I have daydreamed about a certain girl that was "just friends" but I wanted it to be more than that. I spent countless hours daydreaming and being her white knight but it never led even to a kiss. Finally I asked her point blank if she was interested in a romantic date and she said No. Too much beta male behavior on my part and I had blown it.

    Kind of makes me doubt the law of attraction because let me tell you , boys. I fantasized about that girl morning, noon and night and STILL she just simply did not like me "that way".
    WanderTruth, dogeatdog and koolpal like this.
  6. Cool I Can Use Spaces

    Cool I Can Use Spaces Fapstronaut

    I’m finding that having regular activities on my weekly schedule increases my IDGAF attitude.

    I have other things to look forward to in life if a woman rejects me. It’s not that important if it happens, my life goes on.

    My suggestion is find healthy activities you enjoy on a regular basis. Get into them and work on improving your skills. A woman isn’t going to want to be with a “lay about”. She’s going to be attracted to a guy that’s doing something with his life.

    As far as this specific woman is concerned, don’t chase her. If she really wanted to be with you she absolutely would have found a way to get from point A to point B.

    I know it’s hard to get over a woman but I’ve found the best thing to do is force myself to focus on the other things I have going on in life. So it’s important that you actually have other things going on in life to focus on.
    Fide Leo, dogeatdog and koolpal like this.
  7. FellatiousD

    FellatiousD Fapstronaut

    First of all - it's your job to keep pursuing her until you are absolutely sure that she is not interested. Next time, if she says she can't go for some reason, offer to drive her. Then see what her response is. You did the hard work asking her out, so now she has to do her job and say either "yes" or "no."
  8. dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Fapstronaut

    Thank you for the insight fellas. This may sound weird but I'm motivated in a sense now to improve myself and I'm gonna start by learning how to drive so there's NO excuse next time. Wish me luck boys and good luck with NNN!
  9. FellatiousD

    FellatiousD Fapstronaut

    We've got your back. Shoot for the stars man.
    WanderTruth and dogeatdog like this.
  10. Hold it in

    Hold it in Fapstronaut

    Having a dream (for a future) in life is awesome. You have to be careful with it though, Demons (yes I am serious) will exploit daydreaming to ruin you.

    First ask yourself this question, Is the daydreaming obstructing my day? Is it stopping me from thinking clearly during the day?

    Your mind belongs to you not some Demon. I had all kinds of diagnosis growing up, Aspergers, Depression and OCD.

    I've rebuked all of them accept the Aspergers because it makes me really good for what I do for a living, Daydreaming still sometimes is a problem however, in rebuking and taking my authority back, it has severly diminished. And I can't be happy enough
    dogeatdog likes this.
  11. Vijay5610

    Vijay5610 Fapstronaut

    I do day dreaming a lot and face anxiety in real life facing people
  12. Bragi

    Bragi Temporarily Suspended

    You don't want to believe that there is great fishes in the sea. How will you know if you havent caught some?
    dogeatdog likes this.
  13. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

    Hi comrade,
    I strongly advise you to watch the 'Brad Pitt Rule' on YouTube. This originates from the Art of Manliness website.
    Please watch it and tell me what you think. I believe that it would be useful to you.
    Take care!
    Demodectic likes this.
  14. Dexter Moran

    Dexter Moran Fapstronaut

    Hi dogeatdog,
    did you watch the video I suggested?
  15. Demodectic

    Demodectic Fapstronaut

    I watched it. Great video and makes a lot of sense. Better than that old fashioned advice of "Keep asking her out again and again until she says yes" stuff. Actually in 2019 the "ask her out again and again" stuff could get you a criminal charge of stalking so many reasons not to do it.
    Dexter Moran likes this.
  16. You have to forgive her, even if you think you don't have any animosity for her. That is the only way to get over it, if not you are always going to think about it and get mad when you think about it. Write a letter explaining your frustration and why she is an idiot for rejecting you, read aloud a couple times then burn it. It works lol

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