the cons of nofap and the pros of relapse

Good for you mr nofap,

I agree fapping can be a part of a healthy life. The goal of this community is to help people be in control of their habits and not be controlled by them.

I, for one, was controlled by mine. But am now learning to take that control back and put fapping in its proper place. Those that say they will never fap again are making, what they believe to be, the proper choice for themselves. Who are we to argue?

Even though are goals may be different, we can still encourage and support each other.

Stay strong and strive to achieve,
Geyser

 

Many people wouldn't consider fapping without porn a relapse. It all depends on your goals and how you benchmark success... it sounds like you achieved your measure of it, which is excellent.

 

I try not to judge anyone's goals here, but I actually think those who say "I'll never M again" are doing some kind of mistake, unless you have a sexual partner.
As said by several people in this forum, your mind stops working properly if you don't "let it go" from time to time, it is totally unhealthy to hold it for so long.

 

Hi,
I am married, and don't have the slightest intention to cut sex out of my life. Sex is not a relapse! We are sexual beings, with sexual needs, and becomming a hermit is not the aim of this group. (Although if someone wants to... it's a good place for support ).
Even though I do have sex with my wife, I did not decide to stop M alltogether. Only porn. Why is that?
Well, I learnt a bit about porn and how addictive it is. I consummed porn for 33 years (until recently). I can assure you, it was not that addictive before the fast-internet arrived. The diversity and life-like experience that one may get today, the large quantity of different girls one sees in one M session, the choice between so many genres, and the possibility to switch from videos to stills to literature to comics... all this make it very addictive. It's been scientifically proven. See this post:
http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?2402-Get-educated-get-tools-and-learn-to-love-withdrawals

So if you wanted to M, even once a week, or even more - it's OK.
If you get back to porn... it's a slippery road. I guess one could limit himself to porn once a week, but I think it's very hard to keep at it without relapsing to total addiction again. Once an addict - always an addict. I believe that a recovered addict shall have clear and unmistaken boundaries: What is a relapse? What is allowed? These boudaries shall explicitly define quality and quantity of actions.
For example: M twice a week at most, without imagining porn-ish things, and having real sex with real partners, towards whom I have affection. (Prostitution is a lively form of porn. People can get addicted to this too, if they can pay for it. Again, because of the diversity, and ease compared to the investment in real relationships).

I'd also recommend to watch this:
http://tedxtalks.ted.com/video/Why-I-Stopped-Watching-Porn-Ran;search%3Atag%3A%22tedxjaffa%22
Porn actresses are mostly like prostitutes. And both these groups are badly exploited, and usually have bad-sad lives.

 

Yeah man,

I'm with you on this one.

Porn is all kinds of bad, and yeah jerking off all day can desensitise your mushroom tip and impair lovemaking.

but once you reset your mind and body, it's all good man. jerking off has a time and a place. feelin' stressed? have a fap, no harm in that.
can't sleep? just jerk it - that's what it's for.

Jerking off multiple times a day with 82 tabs of various porn? yeah of course not.

I think the danger here is that fellers are taking it too far and vilifying what is and has always been a natural and healhty part of being a man. yes In modern times out men have developed bad habits and potentially unhealthy sexual relationships with porn and masturbation, but in it's true essence masturbating is fine.

we just need to get down the roots and correct ourselves to be better men.


and I think you're doing just fine.

 

awesome comment !

 

You don't need a doctor to check. You can see sperm motility through a microscope (not that I was 'ever' OCD enough to check of course, hehe. I must have just read it online somewhere).

 

I'll add one more confounding factor. Based on the definition of reboot per the glossary, you effectively completed a successful reboot and did not return to PMO. Your positive MO results should be taken in light of the fact that you did it subsequent to a technically successful reboot. I probably wouldn't reset my counter either, but I would consider making a second counter since you are genuinely curious (I am as well since I will reintroduce MO after reboot also).

 

I think the most important thing is get rebooted, first. Get that compulsive porn and PMO use out of your head and out of your lifestyle. Get back in charge of yourself. Then, back in charge, if you want to experiment with MO, you do so armed with the knowledge you are giving yourself a dopamine high. No one who ever got addicted set out to get addicted. They got there because they did not understand they could. Once you have beaten porn addiction, I doubt you are going to go back. It was too hard getting out the first place.

 

Caution, with respect, this post is not for someone in the early stages of recovery.

If you are in the mud, struggling with just getting a few days under your belt, please avoid this discussion.

Again, I mean that with the deepest respect.