The current avatara of Dakshinamurti

Hey all,

So I decided I didn't need this community right... That I was putting so much time and energy into obsessing about getting away from pornography that it was proving counterintuitive and only ending in more relapses.

What a load of crap people, that is straight up addict talk. I should know by now.

So anyhow. I'm here again, hopefully with a bit more insight, but unfortunately with no real clue how I'm going to move forward. I guess it's like when I stopped drinking-- I messed up a number of times, went through the requisite period of thinking I had a handle on it, and when I finally did stop I didn't really want to stop... I just had to.
A year on and I'm as scared as the day I first signed up. (EDIT: Scared for how little power of will I have over this, scared of how far removed my pornography habit is from my actual sexual preferences, scared of how I don't even want to leave the house or engage with society, which only fuels the behaviour further and causes it to mutate ever so slowly...) It just takes over, just like the quest for booze.

The best thing I can think for myself, without outside input, is that I have now been sober for over 5 years, and though I still get cravings I can say no easily. I made it through that, I've stopped other drugs which were problematic for me as well, so I can do this.

 

Cheers Tiger! I'm sure you see a lot of people come and go on here, but I do remember your support and encouragement particularly. Hope all is well, and I'm looking forward to being actively involved again