THE CURSE OF BEING ATTRACTIVE AND ADDICTED TO PORN

I agree with what you’re saying.

I’ve seen guys who are hideous but they still manage to sleep with tonnes of girls. As long as you’ve got confidence that’s all that matters.

I’ve also seen and know good looking guys who find it hard to get a girl. Because they have zero game.

It’s all about confidence. Girls pick up on that right away. If you’ve got no confidence in yourself. How the hell are you gonna be able to take care of her? Or at least that’s what she’s going to be thinking.

You need to work on your confidence, and it all starts with the mind. You need positive thoughts. Block out negative ones and focus on your good qualities.

Quitting Porn will help you. You don’t need the extra weight from being addicted to porn holding you down. Once you’re free of this addiction you will feel a weight off your shoulders. That will help.

 

I've in the same rut as you. I'm also not exactly ugly. I've gotten tons of oppertunities when it comes to girls, but I never had the confidence to make anything of it, and it remains to be that way until this very day.

I enjoy P too much I think. Or at least that's what I * think *. Because I know I'm addicted to this tool to get to that O. Nothing else works for me to get to O.

I guess I myself haven't tried that much, although I do want to get rid of this addiction. I need something drastic to get me off this addiction, I just don't know what.

I just want to say that I've got very little confidence as well, and am double ashamed because of it.

People say, oh, I think you're a very creative and intelligent person, and I just shrug. I have many inner conflicts that keep me from gaining confidence. But I'm also scared. Scared of rejection, although I've had plenty of times had the balls to ask someone out, I don't know, what is it that's holding us back?

I believe in many cases, OK, not trying to brag here, but the more intelligent folks tend to get less women. Because they think too much, and act too little. Since we're accustomed to using our brain so much, we forget about acting on our gut feelings/instinct and we don't take any actions. A lesser intelligent person might not even have the thought 'what if she..'. If you get my drift.

I want to stop like you. I also have a constant mild depression (recovered from a huge rollercoaster depression). Need to get more out of the house, less at home on my PC (playing games). But then what? What kind of hobby? What's my motivation? Argh, the thinking starts again and I know I won't act.

 

Fuck brah, i've had so much arguing with my friends about whores. Idk why people don't seem to understand that it's not just like "riding a bike", there's moral-ethical and deep-personal issues involved when you resort to hookers. Anyway I wish you all the best. I too have felt how PMO puts a tap on your potential and it errodes ones spirit slowly and excrushiatingly. Let's make 2019 better than 2018!

 

hey, there's a good quote by Napoleon (paraphrasing): "Intelligence and confidence are like 2 weights balancing out a ship, but if I had to choose one I'd choose confidence" and it makes sense, historically he made rash and brave decisions which were smartly executed. And still what good is being smart if you don't act? What good is being beautiful if you never use it for women?

 

If I were you I would get rid of tinder. swiping through an endless supply of women gives you a dopamine rush. Your brain has made the connection that it gets dopamine and it should have an O. so be honest with yourself, do you ever find yourself relapsing into pmo after using tinder? or the morning after.

I (and several other guys on here) have also benefited from a break from social media too. Hang in there brother!

 

I just want to say that I guess it depends on where you live. Where I live it's legal. Also, I don't feel anything morally wrong with it, nor did I have deep personal issues when I visited them. The way I see it, it's simple. You need a release, don't have a GF, so you visit and pay a lady. It's a 100 times better than keep browsing the tube sites because it's real. Yes it costs money, but so do girlfriends. I'd still visit them if I'd actually enjoyed it, I don't anymore ever since I had trouble starting up my 'engine' and it becoming worse. Money is also an issue, since my budget became very tight ever since I moved to live on my own.

 

Thanks for sharing your experiences. It is absolutely true, that looks are irrelevant if your other features aren't strong. The number one most important thing, the very foundation of everything is confidence, social skills and mental power. And I'm not saying this as some brain washed guy who thinks this is what matters the most to girls. What I mean is you can't do anything without these features. Doesn't matter how many girls find me attractive, if I'm socially weird and act awkward and scared, I can't proceed with what my looks brought me. The attraction from girls I personally started experiencing made me realize how wastefully I had been living. I started thinking "Why in the fuck am I fapping when I could be with all these amazing girls?". This thought really pushed me to quit masturbation for good. Ever since last summer I've been doing hard mode until I lose my virginity. I've made a lot of progression this year. All the super powers that come from NoFap are true in my case, but it wasn't just NoFap that contributed to them. Everything is based on my mental and will power. I've gotten rid of my social problems through building my confidence by doing the right things, mainly quitting masturbation. But just by quitting masturbation, you won't get all the results. You gotta work on your insecurities and build your mind. I've still got a lot to work on to get where I want. Don't settle for little. Get it all. Let's make 2019 insane.

 

this is true , its a tough problem to beat but it is possible. Keep strong everyone

 

I used to be a daily user too. Oct 31st was the last day i used weed. and I live where its legal. If you can cut back maybe just smoke before bed. It definitely helps to resist pmo. I know many times if i knew i was gonna pmo I would go smoke to take it to the next level.

If you ever need someone to talk to brother don't hesitate to message me

 

True...looking good on the outside and feeling good on the inside are two completely different things.

 

hey bro, I appreciate your message and much truth to it love to share another perspective.

Just an observation that you are basing your value on how girls respond to you. This I suggest is not very wise and will continue to bring you suffring.

Also consider that if you put the right product in front of the wrong audience there will be no sale, the same way you could be the perfect type for a certain kind of girl, you just have not been exposed to the right group setting where you can be fully YOU.

I can tell you this from experience. I used to be insecure and shy, then I worked on myself for years learning techniques and became a womanizer and I became really "good" at meeting women at bars and clubs.

But i found that i was never fulfilled. I had broken relationships and I wasted alot of time and energy. In the process nearly died and became addicted to a bunch of shit and almost got in to a gang!

later I discovered spirituality, talks by Alan watts on youtube, and went to intense meditation retreats, got heavily into fitness etc, I discovered a whole new identity that previously I didn't know about.


After my mini awaking, I noticed I had no attraction towards those old girls and they too had no attraction to be with someone like me.

I literally stopped looking for girls and even though I would go through long periods of no sex and be mostly celibate and single - when I did get in relationships they were alot more deeper and profound than before.

What I learned through this journey is that m life purpose is not to hack the process of having a successful sex life - because that is an illusion.

The purpose is to evolve consciously and become Self Realized - that is the highest state of a human being to be fully enlightened.

This is what Jesus, Buddha and Krishna, and all the other great ones were trying to convey to us. To stop seeking pleasure in things (or people), and evolve to find the source of happiness which is within.

 

That's beautiful and helps me a lot, thank you

 

Hello man. You are doing the right thing when you try to get rid of this addiction. Of course weed is bad for nofap. However, are you sure you need antidepressants? I have never used them or need them, so my experience is zero. Couldn't they be the cause of your relapses?

 

Don't give too much thinking to this girl hot girl who rejected you. You'll have many other opportunities. This girl arrived in your life in a bad time. Who knows, probably she wasn't worth it. You never know what is really behind a cute face. Keep the streak going on, even if right now is a short time.Be prepared for the next opportunity.