The cycle I'm imprisoned in.

Hi.

Around a year ago, I made a text file and starting writing everytime I fap and reach orgasm. So now I have a long list that looks like, "Friday morning, Saturday morning, Wednesday night (2 times), next Saturday evening, Monday morning" etc.. What's the point of this? Idk, probably maintaining the feeling that I'm in a process of giving up this habit.

Anyway, looking at the list, and some notes that I wrote in brackets after certain days, describing some circumstances that led into me fapping despite not really wanting to, I found out that I go through a specific cycle over and over.

The cycle starts with a feeling of anxiety that I get because I need to study, but I don't want to study, or because a certain idea came through my mind and messed me up. Then boom.. PMO. Then I go shower and decide that it's time to my ish together. But I don't really do that, I just kill time in a way or another, until the cycle starts over.

How to break this cycle? That's a question that I would like to read you answering it. IMO, It's probably the time for me to get up and do something brave about my life. And with that I mean start doing something that I feel passionate about, whether that means changing my major, or even dropping out and start doing some of the things that I feel I would like spending hours doing.